No woman needs to feel fear again if she is properly empowered with self-defense measures.

When divorce comes to visit, many things change. But one condition that most do not want to think of is the fear of being alone. A woman who is newly divorced, separated, widowed may not admit it, but living alone is quite different from when they had the benefit of a husband in the picture.

When they finally admit that they are truly alone, there is a rude awakening. All of a sudden the creaks and cracks of the house make themselves known. One could almost be convinced that there is an evil presence in the home with them. Looking under beds and in closets, become a ritual…”just in case.”

I admit shortly after my husband died, I made my son Chris, leave work to investigate the “intruder” upstairs. I knew it was a human footstep I was hearing. I debated whether to call 911 or to leave my house. Instead, I called Chris, who worked a short three miles from home.

Concerned about his frightened mother, he dutifully did the bed and closet checking. He even climbed up into the attic that had no ladder. There was no one… anywhere.

He assured me that it was most likely the hot sun causing the boards in the house to creak and crack. “Oh, I didn’t think of that.” I felt embarrassed and sorry for taking him away from his job. I hoped his boss would not retaliate against him for my silliness.

I began thinking about what if it had been in the middle of the night. How would I have behaved then. Since my husband had died and would not be returning, I had to get a grip!

Years later, I have whipped the bug-a-boos of living alone. In fact, I feel an intruder would wish he had never dropped in to see this old lady for I have a plan. I have rehearsed my retaliation if needed. I will not tell the plan here, of course, but Bad Guys, beware!

There have been other times that I like other women, have felt helpless, scared and vulnerable in parking lots, walking down the street or just entering my home on a dark night. I have learned to be alert, think about my surroundings and plan what my reactions will be if someone were to try to accost me before I was safely in my home or vehicle.

Fear can be a destructive emotion, depending on the power one releases to it.

Recently, I met Professor, Don Haley. This former Marine, is now the Administration of Justice, Professor at Tidewater Community College in Virginia Beach.

Don’s experience as a Police Officer in Chesapeake, a Detective, a Police Officer, a Deputy Sheriff and a Correctional Officer in Virginia Beach, speaks well of his expertise. On a daily basis, he was exposed to domestic violence to women and girls, and other criminals.

Don said, “As a former police officer/detective and current criminal justice professor, I have been exposed to the realities of violence against women that occur everyday in our society. The National Crime Victimization Survey stated that at least 248,300 women in the United States were raped or sexually assaulted in 2007. The numbers of reported and unreported acts of domestic violence against women are beyond belief.

In February of 2008, I traveled to El Paso, Texas to serve as an expert witness in a murder and sexual assault trial of a 15 year old girl by the name of Melissa Medina. Melissa was attacked by Irving Alvin Davis, a proclaimed Satan worshiper. Davis was convicted and currently sits on death row awaiting execution for the atrocities and mayhem that he inflicted on this innocent young child.

This horrific trial had a profound impact on my life. It not only moved me to tears, but action as well. I decided to combine my expertise in law enforcement with my knowledge as a former professional boxer and mixed martial artist to generate 20 easy-to-learn effective moves. I am convinced with all my heart and soul that these moves can and will keep women from having their lives traumatically changed forever by the numerous predators that roam our streets.”

This experience spurred him on to find a solution to women’s safety. In order to further educate himself, he participated in a course presented by Captain Ray Greenwood of the Virginia Beach Police Department, and Tidewater Community College. Capt. Greenwood is the acclaimed expert on domestic violence, who in 1995, created this excellent college course entitled, “Domestic Violence.”

“The course has enhanced our criminal justice program immensely. This course has given me great satisfaction in knowing that our Administration of Justice Program at Tidewater Community College, has assisted our community in not only awareness, but a resolution to such an appalling epidemic”

From my experiences and education, my hope is, if we can keep just one woman from experiencing the emotional and physical pain that today’s predators seek to inflict, it will truly bring rest to my soul.”

If you are a man reading this, you should be concerned about your daughter, sister, mother, wife or significant other, in helping them to feel safer.

Knowing that a man of his stature is looking out for vulnerable women, me included, gives me a sense of comfort.