Okay, you know changing is never easy, and if the truth be told, you’re most probably already wondering if you can do it. Whether it’s exercising, or leaving a dead-beat relationship, if you’ve tried to make these changes before and been unsuccessful, here’s a surefire prescription for change.
- Everyone CAN change – it’s just whether or not you really want to.
- The emphasis is on the word “really”.
- If you say you want to change, are you willing to do the work that is required to make that change?
- Be really honest with yourself. Change takes hard work. If you are not willing to do the work, there is no chance of change.
- You must be willing to postpone immediate gratification of your needs.
- I know this is a constant topic but one well worth dwelling on. Postponing immediate gratification in order to realize a goal is the key to change.
- Most people do not have the discipline to do this.
- Nothing is possible without discipline – Initially it will feel “unnatural”.
- Being disciplined is the number one way to create the life you want.
- Do not use “comfortable” and “uncomfortable” as measures for what is right for you. At first, doing something disciplined will fell uncomfortable for you, feel weird.
- Discipline will give you self-respect and self-esteem.
- Surround yourself with those who support your change.
- There’s a term in Sanskrit called “Satsang”. It literally means, “In the company of saints,” but what it really means is “like company.”
- Surround yourself with people who nourish your soul and want the same things for you that they want for themselves.
- Chandra’s secret: The quickest way to change someone else’s behavior is to change your own.
- Stop worrying about someone else. Taking care of yourself is a full-time job.
- When you change your behavior, you automatically relate differently to all around you. This results in a different interchange that reflects your new understanding.
In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.
January 15th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I enjoy your articles very much.
I think the main problem is laziness. We don’t realy want to work too hard at changing ourselves or making our marriages work.
We take everything for granted but expect our spouse to make the effort.