In many sales-oriented networking books and course, people are taught that networking is a selling tool and part of that lesson is what’s known as the Three Foot Rule: “Anyone within three feet of you is an opportunity to make a sale.”

We feel that not only is this bad advice for the networker, one that seriously decreases the chance for quality connection (many “3-Footers” mysteriously find themselves unable to get within three feet of anyone in a very short period of time), but that it also creates a negative feeling to the whole concept of networking in the minds of others.

As a result, people begin to avoid any event or activity labeled “networking” because they neither wish to participate in this hard-sell technique, nor do they wish to be exposed to it, especially in a concentrated form, in doing so we all lose out on valuable opportunities for service, connection and growth.

So, in the true spirit of connection-based networking (adding value to interactions in order to create and strengthen our connections with others), we hereby present our own Three Foot Rule, and hope you’ll join us in finding ways to make it our mission for the future of networking:

“Every person within three feet of you is an opportunity to serve.”   Dr. Ivan R Misner

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

Do you know how good it is to wake up in the morning, get your coffee, flip on your computer, log in to your twitter account and find that YOU are the person being twittered about?  I do, it’s great!   It is exactly what happen to me last week. There were a great many “mentions” on twitter about my being listed as one of the Top 100 Women Bloggers to Watch.   I was surprised and honored.

It is the second time that I have been listed in a Top 100 List and both times I have been surprised and honored. I know that I am not the best blogger on the net and I am not the most prolific, but I do blog from a place that I have passion. As I said in a previous post, passion draws people to you like bee’s to flowers.

That being said, I also spend time on my social networking sites promoting my blog.  If you too are new at blogging use some of these tips to help drive traffic to your site.

1. Comment on other peoples blog – comments let bloggers know that you are reading their material.  It is always a morale boost when I get comments from others even if they do disagree with me.

2. Post your blog on your Facebook account and tweet your link now and then, let people know when you have posted new material.

3. Add links to other peoples blogs. If you are writing on a topic that others have written on, link back to them. It will build visibility and credibility for both of you.

4. Put your blog link on the bottom of your email, on your website, and even on your business card. It is a great way for others to get to know you.

5. Be brief, people do not take the time to read the long rambling blogs.  Say what you have to say in 300-500 words you will get more people to read your content.  And blog frequently, that has been a challenge for me this summer.

I am a novice blogger compared to many on the internet and I am sure there is so much more for me to learn, but I am proud to say that I have made to 2 top 100 list and I can’t wait to see what happens when I get really good at this.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

I went out into my backyard today to look at my crop of Indiana Tomatoes.  I was quite disappointed to find that they still have not ripened.  The weather has been very cool this year and that means the tomatoes ripen more slowly.    I am losing my patience because I want vine ripe tomatoes NOW!

Ironically,  I came into my office to open an email from one of our newest clients.  He and I are meeting for some one to one coaching around his DISC profile, he is a high D and likes results, NOW.   In his email he stated “Please send me the roster of current and past participants, so that I may have 2 referral partners identified by the time we meet.” Oh if it were only that easy!

Unfortunately,  the key to developing strong strategic relationships with a referral partner is patience.  Like my tomato plants there is more  involved than just sticking the plant in the ground and telling it to produce.   Your referral network must be nurtured, tended to, and supported.

Here are four keys to developing a strong referral network and growing good tomatoes

1. Identify the right kind of person to build the relationship with.  Just as choosing  the right kind of tomato plant is important,  you need to know what kind of referral relationship you want.  You can have contact sphere relationships that will yield lots of little incidental leads that can keep you very busy, kind of like the little cherry tomato plant that will give you bowls full of tomatoes quickly, or you can have a full fledged referral partnership that will yield larger, proactive,  high value referrals.  Similar to the the Big Boy tomato plant.  They take longer to grow, but well worth the wait.

2. Understand that time and consistent nurturing is required.  You can’t  just throw the plant in the ground and expect tomatoes to spring forth.  The same holds true for your referral relationships.  The relationship has to be built on a foundation of trust, understanding, collaboration and educations.

3. There has to be give and take in the process.  The tomato plant needs care, water, and plant food in return you get juicy red ripe tomatoes for all of your efforts.  When you give to your referral network they will in return give to you, if you consistently take with out giving eventually your network will wither and little or no fruit will be provided.

4. Diversity is important, this year I planted one kind of tomato, so of course I am still waiting.  If you plant a variety of tomatoes; plant some cherry tomatoes who will yield great flavor quickly,  as well as the slow growing variety that give your the bigger more flavorful fruit later in the year.  Your referral network can be built with a variety of relationships.  Those who will give you leads to follow up on while you are waiting for those that will give you the quality of referrals that will allow you to work smarter not harder.    Those little tomatoes will keep you fed until the big ones are ready!

Over time and with the right work, you can have  consistent quality referrals coming into your pipeline from a well nurtured network.  Remember, like the tomato plant, it takes time and work before you realize the fruit of your labor.  Be patient and don’t try to rush the process!

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

As the economy took a hit and began to spiral down, email newsletters went up!  I am getting triple what I use to get.  I did not sign up for the emails, I did not ask to get them, I simply gave someone my business card and they believed that gave them permission to put me on their mailing list.  I am getting letters on a wide variety of topics;  Leadership, Sales Training, Human Resources, Finances and Investments, Marketing, Networking, Health & Fitness, Diet, Massage, Real Estate and on and on.

I don’t mind getting my clients emails, I don’t mind getting email newsletters from people who’s services I use or those that I personally subscribed to.    I don’t automatically put people on my list.  If someone wants my newsletter they have to write that on the back of their business card, send me an email asking for it, or subscribe to it.  I do not assume that because I have their business card I have their permission to email them.

I have tried to unsubscribe and one person became upset with me and sent me an email saying so.  After that I decided to start putting everyone who sends me a newsletter on my list so they will get mine in return.  Gee, was I surprised when MOST of them unsubscribed to my newsletter?  Or that MOST of them did not bother to open it.  I was not, it was clear to me from the beginning that they were only interested in a one way conversation.

So, now I have set up a rule for each newsletter that I did not subscribe to, they are automatically forwarded to the delete file which is emptied every Friday.  Last week, 21 newsletters and Ezines were deleted!  Today there is an equal number that will be tossed.

One technique I use to get permission is a simple follow up with the people I meet, I will “Forward” them a copy of my last Referral Tip of the Week with a note that says.

Blah Blah Blah….by the way I do a weekly article called Referral Tip of the Week.  Here is a copy of the last one I sent out last week,  I thought it might interest you.  If you like it and want to get it regularly feel free to subscribe or forward it to a friend.  I hope you enjoy this one. Blah Blah Blah.

Now it is up to them to decide if it is something they would like to get regularly or not.  This has increased my open rate and that is more important to me than the number of people getting the information.

So, remember just because you have someones business card – does not mean they want your newsletter.  ASK FIRST!

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

I spoke at a  luncheon recently about networking and one young lady posed an interesting question that I would like to take the time to address here.

“I know that I need to network, but can you tell me which groups would be a waste of time.”  I am sure there was more conversation around that question than I am posting here, but that was the gist of the question.

My response to her was, “All networking without a strategy is a waste of time. It is not a matter of the organization being a waste of time, it is the strategy that you use within the organization  that makes it effective.”

BNI is structured systems intended to create success for it’s members but many people will leave the organization saying “It” did not work for them.  An organization cannot work for you, you have to work the organization.

What is your strategy?  Why you are networking?  Are you prospecting, looking for people to buy your products or services?  For instance, if your clients are dentist and you want to find more dentist, then most likely you are not going to find them at a chamber event.  You will need to do some research to find your target market!

Are you looking for referral sources,  other professionals who work with Dentist?   Who are these  professionals  and where do they hang out?    When you find the 6-8 people who work with the same client type that you do in a non-competitive way, your networking becomes far more effective,  more strategic.

When you have the people who can help you build your business you can then network for them.  Go to events as a team and work the room for each other instead of yourself.   Maybe it is not that you need to network more, but you need to network more effectively.  It is more about you and your strategy than it is about the organization you are joining.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence,then, is not an act, but a habit.

So, let me ask, what habits have you created around your referrals business?

The first habit that every business person should have is the habit of tracking your activities.  Creating a referral system requires that you track several things.

Track your networking activities.

• Who are you networking with?
• What activities are you participating in?

Track your giving.

• Who have you given business to?
• What connections have you been able to make?
• What was the value of the business you have given?

Track your receiving.

• Who has referred business to you?
• Who has connected you?
• What was the value of the business you received?

Track your thanking activities.

• Who have you thanked
• How have you thanked them?

When you have a system for tracking your activities and you use it consistently you begin to develop a habit.  It is these habits that creates excellence!

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

Networking is a person to person activity, we meet, we talk and we share pleasantries with one another. When we meet and start the process of building a business relationship we are looking for people who energize us, people we want to be around. Now and then we meet people we wish we did not have to spend time with. They have a negative attitude and readily spread it around.

Wally Amos, founder of Uncle Wally’s Muffin Company, wrote a book in 1996 called Watermelon Magic: Seeds of Wisdom, Slices of Life. He wrote the Watermelon Credo as I was reading it I realized more than ever how it applied to our lives and our networking activities.

W-Whatever you believe creates your reality. Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.
As a business networker, you have to believe that others are willing to help you succeed.

A-Attitude is the magic word. Your greatest asset is your attitude. When you are networking, you will attract more people who want to be around your when you are positive and supportive.

T-Together everyone achieves more. There are no limits to what we can accomplish together. Networking only happens with more than one person. Each helping the other by building trust and making connections with one another.

E-Enthusiasm is the wellspring of life. Enthusiasm makes you fun to refer to, people want to be with you, to help you.

R-Respect yourself, as well as others. When you begin to respect yourself, your whole world changes. If you want others to make connections for you they must have respect for you. That will not happen if you do not respect yourself.

M-Make commitment, not excuses. You have to build credibility with people if you are going to build a strong network, unfortunately credibility is often destroyed because people make excuses for what they have not done or did not due. Live up to your commitments and build credibility.

E-Everyday can be a fun day. Make your networking activities fun, something you enjoy doing, not something you dread, make a game of it, smile and enjoy yourself.

L-Love is the answer. Whatever the question, love is the answer. When you love what you do, it comes through as passion. People will be drawn to you, they will want to know your secret, they will want to be part of your network.

O-One day at a time. All of life happens in increments of one. Building a strong network means adding one person at a time and building a relationship with them. Creating a win-win relationship for each of you.

N-Never give up or become a victim. Regardless of the economy you can create success as long as you understand that you are the victor and not the victim. No one cares to hang out with the victim.

We have the power to create great success when we help others do the same thing, when you remember the principals of watermelon you will attract people who want to be part of your network, who want to help you create the success you are looking for.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

The world becomes a smaller and friendlier place when you network well. As a professional speaker I find there are times that I am gone for long periods from my home and office. When I am home it is only for a day or two to pick up a clean suite and catch another plane. When I get back for the next 2-3 days I feel like I have road head, tired and unable to fully focus and concentrate,such is the way today. That being said, I wouldn’t change a thing! I meet the most amazing people when I am traveling and networking. Last week in California I had the opportunity to share the stage with Dr. Ivan Misner, father of modern networking and Lindsay Adams, President of the International Speakers Association. Later I got great feedback from both of them on how good my presentation was, as well as how I might improve it for the next time. This is the kind of coaching and feedback you can’t pay for!

I had dinner with Lindsay & Debra Adams form Australia and Phil & Michelle Bedford from Dubai where I learned about some of the local customs and laws as well as the weather and best times to visit their countries. Both were more than willing to make connections, give feedback and share contacts should I need them.

In Florida, and the NACM National Conference I met a team from the UK who are looking to expand their business into the US. We had a wonderful discussion about the differences between business in the U.S. and business in the U.K. and how we might be able to help one another. Later I met Danielle Austin, a national expert on Export Letters of Credit for companies who are sending their goods overseas. We had a great dinner together since we were both there alone as presenters and learned how much Danielle loves what she does and how good she is at it.

In Canada, I met John Sawyer, President of the Oakville Chamber of Commerce, and the Mayor of Oakville. Paula Hope a trainer and speaker put on a fantastic event that I was able to present at, she and her team went above and beyond the call of duty. While there I met Christel Wintelsl, BNI Director and National Franchise Owner for Canada again. I was able to spend time and build a great relationship with Christel and Paula which adds great value to my network.

So, why do I tell you all this and why do you care? Simple, networking is a 24 hour a day activity, anywhere you go. I could have chosen to hide out and work in my room at each of these events but I chose to network, to meet new people, to find ways to connect and build the relationships.

Networking is not just about going to events and meetings, it is about connecting with people exactly where they are and asking “How can I help you.” Good Networking is about listening to what others are saying, and not being the authority in the room. Good networking is about leaving your ego at the door and be willing to be present in the moment with the people around you. Good networking is a wonderful way to build not only your business, but your life.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

Have you taken a look at the goals you set for your business?  More precisely have you reviewed your referral goals?

Most people don’t set goals, at least not in writing. I would encourage you to take this time to write down what you expect to achieve for the second half of the year. 

For those of you who did take the time to set your goals at the beginning of the year, now is a time to take a hard look at those goals and ask yourself, based on your current activities;

1.  Are you on track to achieve those goals?
2.  Were they realistic referral goals?
3.  Have you identified and developed your Referral Partners?
4.  Have you shared your goals with your Referral Partners?
5.  Do you need more help?
6.  Who can help you & when will you ask them?

For most of us, staying on task and focused on our goals requires a little extra help.  If you are behind ask for help, find an accountability partner, get a referral coach, and get your Referral Partners trained so you can help each other.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

My friend Paula Frazier is my guest blogger.  Paula is an excellent trainer for the Referral Institute.

“Why do you do what you do?” Great question! People buy for emotional reasons, it isn’t about products and services or features versus functions. It’s about YOU and what keeps you excited about the business you’re building. It’s your story, your most unique selling position. Like snowflakes each person’s story is different and beautiful in its own way. Each one is unique.

• What is your company mission? Your personal mission? How are they in alignment?
• What segment of your business gives you the most pleasure and the most profit?
• Are you seen as the vendor of choice? Why do people seek you out?
• How did you get started in your industry?
• What excites you about what you do?

Of all the people who do what you do, why you? Your story is one of the very few things that can truly separate you from your competition. What’s your story? How do you tell it? It’s what sets you apart from everyone else who does what you do.

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.