In many sales-oriented networking books and course, people are taught that networking is a selling tool and part of that lesson is what’s known as the Three Foot Rule: “Anyone within three feet of you is an opportunity to make a sale.”

We feel that not only is this bad advice for the networker, one that seriously decreases the chance for quality connection (many “3-Footers” mysteriously find themselves unable to get within three feet of anyone in a very short period of time), but that it also creates a negative feeling to the whole concept of networking in the minds of others.

As a result, people begin to avoid any event or activity labeled “networking” because they neither wish to participate in this hard-sell technique, nor do they wish to be exposed to it, especially in a concentrated form, in doing so we all lose out on valuable opportunities for service, connection and growth.

So, in the true spirit of connection-based networking (adding value to interactions in order to create and strengthen our connections with others), we hereby present our own Three Foot Rule, and hope you’ll join us in finding ways to make it our mission for the future of networking:

“Every person within three feet of you is an opportunity to serve.”   Dr. Ivan R Misner

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

There are two ways to approach life. Read about it. Or live it.

I read a lot. I like to synthesize information together, saturate my brain synapses, make connections, and curate the exact pieces that will fit my life. Knowledge is my thing.

But it doesn’t matter how much I read, or attend lectures, or watch TED talks, or troll Twitter for the next most interesting blog post. Most of that learning stuff is useless; there’s no better way to learn than to just do.

Become an expert {Phase 1}
Action is the first step. That’s why I encourage job-hopping. Most people don’t know what they like or what they’re good at. Like you could really want to be a CEO, yearn for it with all the matter in your body and brain, and then regrettably discover that you suck as a CEO.

Or maybe you’re really fabulous. A veritable genius! The point is, without working it out for yourself, you’re stuck on the path that others have already laid out. And yeah, that’s a safe plan, I don’t blame you. Our education system is certainly not set up to handle exploration or deviation from a set course. And entering the real world closes the door all together.

In school and at the workplace we’re told exactly how to do tasks, without learning the full explanation behind it. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell tells the story of a young woman who is trying to solve a mathematical problem. She’s not told the way others have solved the problem, but instead is problem-solving on her own.

Gladwell recounts that when she figures it out, her face lights up: “Ohhh. Okay. Now I see. The slope of a vertical line is undefined. That means something now. I won’t forget that!”

The young woman is working with a professor who encourages his students to unlearn the mathematical habits they picked up on the way to university. Because it’s not about memorizing the right way to do something, but your ability to try that determines your success.

“Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds,” Gladwell reports.

In order to drive innovation, we need time and space to explore, not regurgitate. To become the master of a topic, you need to understand its underbelly, where it came from, where it’s going, not just the flashy exterior.

Become an expert {Phase 2 – quickly}
Most people are stuck in the land of daydreams and don’t actually reach action, so if you’ve mastered that, pat yourself on the back. I just gave myself a little pat. Go on, you too. Now we’re moving into advanced world domination.

Exploring a topic from top to bottom is all good and well, but what if you don’t have 10,000 hours to devote? What if there was a short-cut? A way that actually helped you make more fiery synapses connections?

I realize I’m starting to sound like an infomercial here, so stay with me.

First, let me preface by saying there’s no substitute for action. And what I’m about to propose isn’t something you should do in lieu of cooking every night if you want to be a chef, but it is the way to super-size what you learn from cooking every night. In an Einstein sort of way, not Mickey D’s.

So tell me, how well can you explain what you do? How well do you understand your passion? Could you teach someone else to do it?

When you do something like send a pitch, for example, you’re learning. You’re testing your ideas and theories through the reaction you receive, the resulting outcome. In this paradigm, it’s okay to fail, you discover through trial and error, and through persistence and hard work, you win.

But there’s an entire level of awesomeness missing. And you can only ascend to the next level by then teaching someone what you have learned. Because then you’re testing your values, ideas and theories with another person’s values, ideas and theories. You understand the underlying challenge more by defining it for another. Teaching – good teaching – requires you to exchange knowledge, not simply impart it. Learning is individual. Teaching is collaborative.

“Nobel laureate physicists such as Enrico Fermi and Leon Lederman took pride in teaching bright undergraduates,” reports Michael Schrage in Harvard Business, “because it forced them to keep in touch with the fundamentals of their field and express themselves simply and clearly.”

I had no idea how to write a stellar cover letter and resume until I started teaching others to do theirs. Groups comprised of individuals in different skill sets – say, marketing, design and finance – thrive when they teach each other. Life-coaches may be so prevalent right now because the coaches help themselves as much as they help clients.

Teaching is sharing knowledge, sharing empathy, sharing ideas. It’s pushing you to understand with entirely different lenses. Just like your body needs both cardio and strength training, your mind needs both learning and teaching.

Teaching is the definitive learning experience. And it’s the quickest way to expertise.

I’ve worked hard over the past two years to change my image. I used to dumb myself down, play my looks up. It was easier that way. I didn’t have to buy any drinks in college, for instance. That was my brand, an image that wasn’t who I was or wanted to be. But it worked, so I kept on.

Until my boyfriend told me I wasn’t interesting enough. Until I came home from a meeting one day, furious for not speaking my mind. Until I had one scary frickin’ visit to the ER. Yeah, those life-threatening events, they’ll get you every time.

I sat down to think about who I really was, proceeded to have a quarter-life crisis, and made some tough decisions. They weren’t decisions that were visible. I didn’t quit my job, or become celibate, or move across the country to pursue reality television. But I did slowly, painfully, change and start to brand myself differently.

Personal branding is your personality, who you are as an individual and “the sum of other brands that you either own, work for or touch in some distinct way.” It’s about being you, and marketing the heck out of it.

You, who is reliably manipulative, can’t make a commitment if your life depended on it, and won’t go to bed until you clear the next level in your video game. You, who is only working until you have a baby, hopefully two, so you can stay at home and take care of your family. You, who works eighty hours a week and must separate your jelly beans into color-respective piles before eating.

Branding is marketing those very gems of your personality. That’s not hard to do. Just be yourself. If you’re acting like someone you’re not, then it will come back to haunt you, like when the infatuation wears off in a relationship, and it is at that moment your girlfriend finds your box of hair-regeneration pills in your underwear drawer. Whoever you are, it’s really hard to change, so you win by just being you from the start.

And sometimes, inevitably, you lose. Like this guy.

Branding is inextricably linked to accountability. If you do a good enough job of marketing yourself a certain way, people will start to believe you. So much so that when you mess up, or step out of your brand, it will make others uncomfortable.

I wouldn’t worry too much about this. Instead, focus on how you define accountability and your own comfort level with your actions.

Our lives are out in the open for all to see. Who you are at your job is who you are at the bar is who you are at the gym is who you are during sex is who you are at the company picnic is who you are at, well, you get the idea. Politicians do cheat on their wives. CEOs are bad parents. Artists are erratic friends. So, what? They’re good at their passions, and at the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can in the circumstances given.

Your image reflects on your company, friends, and family. You, however, need to be accountable to yourself first. If you’re dancing on the tables at the bar, and worried about getting caught, either you have something personally wrong, or you need to find a different job that accepts your lack of inhibition. If your Facebook photos might get you in trouble, take them down, or decide you want to work at a place where they don’t care about that sort of thing.

The lines between work and play are increasingly blurring, and if you’re one person during the day and a different one at night you have to be proud enough to market the heck out of it. If you’re not comfortable, you need to learn more about who you are. You are in control of your brand.

My mother used to tell me, “Remember who you are,” whenever I left the house. People with integrity and confidence don’t worry about “getting caught,” because they know who they are. They know that dancing on tables is acceptable to them, or that their Facebook pictures show another layer of their onion. And if it’s not okay to them, they act accordingly.

In summary, to rock the branding/accountability boat:

1. Know yourself.
2. Be yourself.
3. Love it.
4. Repeat.

By the way, I still enjoy receiving free drinks, because I’ve realized I’m okay with using my looks… Sometimes.

Be yourself, or perish, yo.

Note that these are strictly from a business marketing perspective. If you are involved in social media for personal fun, then you can ignore all of these (instead focus on some of the personal privacy rules).

1. Have a (really good) website that sells something. It’s simple: if you are engaging in social media for marketing purposes, then you need to have somewhere to send people online (a website) and something that you want them to do (a call to action). You don’t necessarily need to have e-commerce, but you should have a call to action clearly defined on every page of your website (if you don’t have a product to sell, then a good call to action is to call or e-mail you). Without a good website and online call to action, you are wasting your valuable marketing time on social networks.

2. Know who your online customer is. If you don’t have an online customer, then don’t invest marketing time on social media, which is inherently online-based. If you do have an online customer, then get really clear about what that customer does online – where does she spend time? what websites does she visit most? what does she care about? This is Marketing 101, but it’s also easily forgotten in the online world. Remember that in most cases your online customer is very different from your offline customer.

3. Determine where you’re going to focus your efforts. There are lots of social media options out there (i.e. Twitter, blogs, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc.), and even huge corporations have trouble managing all of them. My recommendation is that you pick one or two social media outlets and focus your marketing energy there. How do you pick? Well, of course you pick based on your answers to No. 2. Go where your customers are. It’s that simple.

4. Establish an online identity. It is best to use a photograph of a person rather than your logo when interacting in social media spaces. This is because people expect to be social with another person, not a logo. For most small businesses, the “face” of your company is probably going to be your owner/president, but it can vary. The important thing is that you identify a single person who will represent your company in social media settings (Note: this person should best identify with your answers to No. 2). Take some good photos and establish a compelling bio that gives both the person and the company a personality, and you’ve got a winning online identity.

5. It’s not about you. The single biggest mistake companies make when using social media to market is marketing themselves too much. Social media is about community and communication, and if you are too aggressive in your marketing/sales efforts, you will be ignored or, worse, booted and ridiculed. Share interesting industry information that your customers are interested in, participate in discussions about all sorts of topics, and share, share, share. In general, you should share and participate in an indirect manner 90% of the time. Only occasionally should you directly promote your company.

If you want to talk to me about social media and how you can use them to grow your business, then e-mail me or give me a call at 310.453.7008.

Best,
Virginia

Wednesday Inspiration #20

Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways; where it is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses. – Arlen Price

The definition of excuse is “to explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood.” Don’t be fooled into letting your excuses masquerade as reasons why you shouldn’t take the next step in creating the career you want.

Find yourself making excuses? Trying to explain your lack of interest or motivation as if you are at fault? Dig deeper and take a look at your true desires. Are you really willing to take the next step on the path laid out before you? That unwillingness you feel may be an indicator that you are about to step into something that’s not truly meant for you. That you are about to walk a road that leads you away from the core of your purpose.

And don’t confuse unwillingness with fear.  A willing heart is subject to fear no matter how willing it is and requires commitment and courage to move forward despite the fearful feelings.

Publicly, your excuses masquerade as logical practical reasons for why you cannot move. Privately those same excuses become stones that weigh down your spirit. There is freedom in just acknowledging the truth: The excuses come because you don’t want to do it. Admitting that you don’t want to do something doesn’t make you a bad person, doesn’t make you a failure, and it doesn’t mean you are a slacker. You are just honestly acknowledging a truth about yourself. Telling the truth is more powerful than any excuse you can come up with. Telling the truth will liberate you. Making excuses will only add guilt and a sense of disappointment to your load. Eventually you will find your self paralyzed unable to make any decision without a sense of anxiety or overwhelming pressure. It’s why the simplest questions asked of  you can spark anger or panic.

Unless you get to the heart of why you are unwilling and work from there the excuses will keep coming. Could be that you are unwilling for all the wrong reasons. But until you address it – you will never know. Unmask the excuses, admit you are unwilling, and then deal with the unwillingness head on.

Reflection: What are you making excuses for? And why are you unwilling to move?

Definition taken from The Free Online Dictionary.

As “The Career Makeover Coach”, Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help ambitious individuals reinvent their professional lives by centering on their passion and purpose. Holding as a core belief that we are all called to divine purpose and gifted with a unique passion, Tai uses a results driven, spiritually grounded approach to help clients create career paths to support the lifestyle they desire. Whether it’s helping people go from embittered to empowered professionals or making the transition from employee to entrepreneur, Tai is committed to helping clients tap into their own potential for brilliance. Tai has been empowering others through teaching and coaching for over 14 years. A gifted and insightful communicator, Tai holds a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education from Drexel University and a Master of Science in Education from Capella University. She has completed ASTD’s (American Society for Training and Development) Coaching Certificate program and is pursuing professional coaching certification through the International Coach Academy. Originally from Philadelphia, Tai currently lives in Delaware with her daughter. She is currently working on her first book: Reclaiming Your Brilliance: Seven Ways to Take Your Life from Bright to Brilliant.

Web site: http://www.careermakeovercoach.com

When I first started creating, writing and designing companies’ e-newsletters, we simply adapted the format we marketers had used for print newsletters. Now, however, with a huge proliferation of e-mail marketing out there, we have to be more strategic. Here are three quick tips for making your e-mail marketing work:

1. Build your list slowly. The print newsletter model allowed us to mass-mail, but that is heavily frowned on in the e-mail world. Instead, slowly build an opt-in list of people who actually want to hear from you.

2. Avoid graphics. This is hard for me to say, since I love graphics, but with so many handheld devices acting as people’s main form of e-mail retrieval, graphic-heavy e-newsletters can actually work against you. Stick to simple text, and you have a better chance of getting your e-mail read while someone is waiting for their flight or sitting in a doctor’s office.

3. Keep it short and simple. This is also hard for me to say, since I love to write, but there simply isn’t time in the day to read all of the information that passes through our e-mail boxes. Use bolding and bullets so that your readers can quickly skim your e-newsletter.

Virginia Ginsburg is an entrepreneur and business & marketing consultant who delivers strategic, affordable marketing services through her company accordionmarketing. She also writes a blog called Body > Mind > Business, which discuses the connection between business health and personal health, and the struggles she faces in pursuit of work-life balance. Virginia has an MBA from the University of Southern California and is currently (slowly) pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology at UCLA. She has more than 12 years of experience as a senior marketing consultant, and has served as a trusted partner, coach and consultant to more than 100 sole proprietors, partnerships and corporations. 
Virginia lives in Santa Monica, CA with her husband and daughter. As part of her passion for working with entrepreneurs, Virginia is actively involved in small business development projects in the U.S. and in developing countries.

I went out into my backyard today to look at my crop of Indiana Tomatoes.  I was quite disappointed to find that they still have not ripened.  The weather has been very cool this year and that means the tomatoes ripen more slowly.    I am losing my patience because I want vine ripe tomatoes NOW!

Ironically,  I came into my office to open an email from one of our newest clients.  He and I are meeting for some one to one coaching around his DISC profile, he is a high D and likes results, NOW.   In his email he stated “Please send me the roster of current and past participants, so that I may have 2 referral partners identified by the time we meet.” Oh if it were only that easy!

Unfortunately,  the key to developing strong strategic relationships with a referral partner is patience.  Like my tomato plants there is more  involved than just sticking the plant in the ground and telling it to produce.   Your referral network must be nurtured, tended to, and supported.

Here are four keys to developing a strong referral network and growing good tomatoes

1. Identify the right kind of person to build the relationship with.  Just as choosing  the right kind of tomato plant is important,  you need to know what kind of referral relationship you want.  You can have contact sphere relationships that will yield lots of little incidental leads that can keep you very busy, kind of like the little cherry tomato plant that will give you bowls full of tomatoes quickly, or you can have a full fledged referral partnership that will yield larger, proactive,  high value referrals.  Similar to the the Big Boy tomato plant.  They take longer to grow, but well worth the wait.

2. Understand that time and consistent nurturing is required.  You can’t  just throw the plant in the ground and expect tomatoes to spring forth.  The same holds true for your referral relationships.  The relationship has to be built on a foundation of trust, understanding, collaboration and educations.

3. There has to be give and take in the process.  The tomato plant needs care, water, and plant food in return you get juicy red ripe tomatoes for all of your efforts.  When you give to your referral network they will in return give to you, if you consistently take with out giving eventually your network will wither and little or no fruit will be provided.

4. Diversity is important, this year I planted one kind of tomato, so of course I am still waiting.  If you plant a variety of tomatoes; plant some cherry tomatoes who will yield great flavor quickly,  as well as the slow growing variety that give your the bigger more flavorful fruit later in the year.  Your referral network can be built with a variety of relationships.  Those who will give you leads to follow up on while you are waiting for those that will give you the quality of referrals that will allow you to work smarter not harder.    Those little tomatoes will keep you fed until the big ones are ready!

Over time and with the right work, you can have  consistent quality referrals coming into your pipeline from a well nurtured network.  Remember, like the tomato plant, it takes time and work before you realize the fruit of your labor.  Be patient and don’t try to rush the process!

Hazel M Walker, owns three award winning franchise’s. She is a 10 year owner of two BNI Franchises where she teaches members how to leverage their time and network to build each others businesses. She is also a Referral Institute franchise owner and teaches Business Owners how to harness the Science of Referrals to develop Referrals for Life. Hazel is a published author in New York Times best sellers Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels the world speaking to businesses and women’s organizations on the topics of networking to create a life you love.

Book Review – Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P Frankel, PhD

By: Amy Franko

As women entrepreneurs, mompreneurs, business owners, and professionals, there are certain behaviors we have been socialized to engage in that can sabotage our success.

Women have typically been socialized to:

• Avoid conflict
• Be polite and soft-spoken
• Be relationship oriented
• Avoid assertive behavior
• Put the needs of others before our own
• Behave like girls!

Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, outlines 101 of the biggest mistakes women unconsciously make that hurt their credibility, career advancement, and businesses. I’m a huge fan of this book, and wish I had it when I started my first job! Today, as an entrepreneur, these concepts are still valuable in my relationships with clients, colleagues, and business partners.

To make the most of the book’s format and tips, the opening self-assessment pinpoints your top areas to address. From there, the book is organized into eight chapters that serve as a coaching guide. It’s easy to move around within the book, work on those mistakes that are affecting you most, and refer back to it later.

Three of my favorite areas that Dr. Frankel addresses:

How you sound. How you sound accounts for almost 40% of your credibility. People quickly make decisions about you and whether or not they want to continue listening to your message. The word choices you make, how you organize and express our thoughts, and the tone of voice you use all contribute to that decision-making process. The book points out key mistakes and their fixes, such as apologizing unnecessarily, over-explaining, using fillers and non-words, and not using the language of business.

How you brand and market yourself. Regardless of whether you are a business owner or corporate professional, you are your brand. It’s your responsibility to distinguish yourself from the field, promoting who you are in a way that’s positive and reflects your integrity. Dr. Frankel points out the mistakes that put your success in jeopardy, such as failing to define your unique value, passing up high-profile assignments, or waiting to be noticed.

How you respond. This section refers to negative messages and behaviors women have been socialized to accept. Often we internalize messages from childhood that later impact our self-esteem and how we see the world. We sometimes believe we aren’t good enough or that others know more than we do. The book offers specific ways to identify and overcome these sabotaging behaviors.

I encourage you to add this book to your library – it’s a practical, well-organized, and relevant resource you’ll use often on your journey to success! For additional information and tips from the author, visit Dr. Frankel’s website.

About the Author:

Amy Franko is the owner and principal learning designer of Amy Franko Consulting. Amy is a certified Book Yourself Solid ™ business coach. The group she’s most passionate about serving is women who are solo service professionals. She uses a simple system of protocols specifically designed to help them get out into the world and bring more ideal clients into their business, even if marketing and selling isn’t something they like to do!

You can learn more about her by visiting her LinkedIn profile or following her on Twitter.

As “The Career Makeover Coach”, Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help ambitious individuals reinvent their professional lives by centering on their passion and purpose. Holding as a core belief that we are all called to divine purpose and gifted with a unique passion, Tai uses a results driven, spiritually grounded approach to help clients create career paths to support the lifestyle they desire. Whether it’s helping people go from embittered to empowered professionals or making the transition from employee to entrepreneur, Tai is committed to helping clients tap into their own potential for brilliance. Tai has been empowering others through teaching and coaching for over 14 years. A gifted and insightful communicator, Tai holds a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education from Drexel University and a Master of Science in Education from Capella University. She has completed ASTD’s (American Society for Training and Development) Coaching Certificate program and is pursuing professional coaching certification through the International Coach Academy. Originally from Philadelphia, Tai currently lives in Delaware with her daughter. She is currently working on her first book: Reclaiming Your Brilliance: Seven Ways to Take Your Life from Bright to Brilliant.

Web site: http://www.careermakeovercoach.com