Women get paid less than men, in part, because women are less likely to ask. Especially young women. Myers cited a fascinating study from Carnegie Mellon University that studied a bunch of graduate students who were going out into the world to find their first post-college jobs, and found that men often got higher starting salaries were an astonishing seven or eight times more likely to just ask. And did you know, that by failing to negotiate that first salary, women stand to lose $500,000 by the time they’re sixty?  Women, apparently, are much more timid when it comes to negotiating their salaries and asking for what they’re worth.

There still aren’t enough women in politics, business, science, and academia. Women currently occupy 75 seats out of 438 in the House, and 16 of 100 seats in the Senate. 77 percent of university presidents, in a 2006 study, were male. Women held 14.7% of all Fortune 500 corporate board seats in 2007.

What would happen if women ruled the world? The main argument that Myers is making is that if women had more access to power, the world could be a better place. Women are exceptionally talented at communication, relationship-building, negotiation, and leadership (and she cites plenty of studies to back that up– read her book if you want all the evidence). Getting more women in positions of leadership in politics and business could lead to fewer wars, it could give a huge economic boost to developing countries; it could improve the environment, economy, and education system, which could have a huge ripple effect. Communities could be healthier, businesses more productive.

It’s also worth noting that she’s not a man-hater, although I’m sure she’ll get called that, since most feminists get called that at some point. In fact, I doubt you can be a really successful, notable feminist without being called a man-hater, bitch, or whiner at some point. But despite that, it is worth noting that she is a feminist but NOT hating on men. She thinks women should rule the world…but alongside men, not without men.

I often get a lot of questions and funny stares when people, particularly people in college, find out I write for a political website specifically for women. Is it feminist, people ask? No. So then why do women need their own site? Well, in part because when men talk about politics they claim to speak from a universal point of view, but when women talk about politics it’s still seen as a “minority” point of view — or I wouldn’t get such reactions in the first place. A political website written for and by women still elicits a double-take from most people because it’s still an uncommon thing. But it’s a necessary thing — and that’s why we’re doing it.

When men talk about politics as if they are experts, people listen and believe them. When women talk like experts, even when they are experts, they have to prove their credibility first and then people listen (maybe — but if they have a bad hair day or something, forget it). The problem Myers highlights in her fantastic book is exactly the problem that CJP exists to fight: the tired belief that women can only succeed in the corporate world and political world by becoming more like men and hiding the things that make women different.

Instead, what needs to happen is that women need to own their differences and talk about how our differences are positive, instead of hiding them. And people, particularly women themselves, need to recognize that our differences can actually make the world better.

Hear, hear! That’s what we’ve been hollering about at CJP forever!

Nisha Chittal is a writer and journalist who currently serves as Associate Editor of CitizenJanePolitics.com and is a political columnist for UniversityChic.com. Her personal blog is Politicoholic, where she offers commentary on a range of topics, including but not limited to politics, technology, and the changing role of women and Generation Y in politics today.

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What would happen if women ruled the world?

Share your success. It is incumbent on the person being promoted, according to Mark Meloy, President and CEO of First Business Bank, to pull others along with them. Make sure that as you become more successful, your leaders feel that their careers are moving forward as well.

Network to problem-solve. Finding groups that help you problem-solve will save many a headache, according to Brett Armstrong, CFO of the IT company Trident Contact Management. Like if you’re being audited, the group will have your back. But choose your involvement wisely, Armstrong advocates, since you only have a certain amount of time and need to spend it wisely. If you’re only half-involved then that is how people will know you.

Balance… well, it’ll all even out in the end. First, you have to decide if you want a job or a career, according to Mark Meloy. If it’s a career you decide upon, make sure you’re engaging in a two-way street. Work and life won’t always balance out that day, week, or month, but equilibrium will be found. Eventually. Meloy walks the talk at First Business Bank. When his employees go on vacation, they are not allowed access to email and have only limited access to voicemail. The company gives vacation, he says, for a reason.

A vision can’t just be a pie in the sky. A vision must be a concrete vision, according to Donna Sollenberger, President and CEO of UW Hospital and Clinics. To create the right vision, you must find the right direction for your organization to take. To do this, look at the industry trends and listen to your market. Then build a case, a good solid argument, and back it up with data to demonstrate where you need to go.

Entrepreneurs – socialites, control-freaks, risk-takers, and self-promoters. So says Curt Brink, a successful real estate developer. You must not only deal with a wide range of people in entrepreneurship, he argues, but you must also follow through on getting things done. Don’t be afraid to try something new, because once you’ve done it, you then understand how to do it better. A successful entrepreneur likes being in control, but can delegate fully. If you don’t, no one will grow. By the way, Brink was unconsciously promoting his current and past projects the entire time he was talking. That’s called passion. Get some.

Do a lot, and make sure everyone knows. Don’t let anyone pigeon hole your talents, says Annette Knapstein, Vice President of Office Administration at American Family Insurance. Stretch yourself, develop new talents and volunteer for different committees. And then, make sure everyone knows it. If they don’t know, it doesn’t exist.

Leadership is lonely sometimes. A good leader and manager makes effective decisions and communicates clearly, while putting the right people in the right spots. Not always easy, according to Gary Wolter, President and CEO of MGE. To illustrate his point, Wolter told a story about a receptionist he saw year after year. Each morning, the receptionist would say, “Hello, Gary.” Yet, when Wolter was promoted to CEO, the next morning was different. “Hello, Mr. Wolter,” the receptionist said. Leadership fundamentally changes relationships and people expect different things of you. People who were your peers, you now supervise, and while you can still be friendly, you can’t talk about the boss anymore because you are the boss. The support group that you had developed, who had remained loyal to you, and helped you along your journey has changed. Be prepared.

Throw an open door party daily. Reaching out to younger people for fresh air is essential, according to Richard Lynch, President of J.H. Findorff & Son, who had a great sense of the upcoming workforce. He recognizes that young workers are entrepreneurial, and need a flexible and honest environment to work in. He has an open door policy for this purpose and subsequently attracts the brightest young workers.

Speaking of honesty… Surround yourself with people who will tell you that you’re an idiot, says Gary Wolter. Look both inside your organization, and outside, for individuals you can bounce ideas off of, and who can communicate with you effectively and honestly.

Rebecca Thorman (www.modite.com) gives career advice for the next generation of workers. Barely out of college, Rebecca job-hopped her way to becoming the Executive Director of MAGNET, an organization dedicated to attracting and retaining young talent in her region. During that time, she also began authoring the blog Modite, featured in several media outlets including the New York Times as the key community for Generation Y leadership. Rebecca is known for writing candidly from experience.

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Advice from top Executives, Presidents, and CEOs

Every woman should own a pair of comfortable, black leather boots that accentuate her legs, remain stylish year after year and give her the confidence to venture out in the cold. I found my beloved Enzo Angiolini boots a little more than three years ago, at the end of the season. The knee-length boots are fitted without a zipper, and perfectly cradle my ankles. The two-inch kitten heel makes them suitable for long walks. Best of all, they were heavily discounted.

The catch? Well, reporters are supposed to pound the pavement. And I tend to do so with extra enthusiasm. So halfway into the season, without fail, I manage to scratch the leather off the stem of the heel, which, by that time, I have already rubbed down to the metal underneath.

Since I couldn’t bear to part with the boots, I became friends with the local shoemaker, a meticulous Italian man who worked out of a little shop on Victory Boulevard in Staten Island. His shop smelled of leather, oil, shoe polish, and … pride. He was a true craftsman.

Then, last spring, he shuttered the doors. Rent had gone up and it was about time he retired, he said.  He isn’t alone. Today, only 7,000 shoe repair shops exist in America. Only a decade ago, there were 12,000. “The trade is dying off; people go to college and do other things,” says Jim McFarland, a third-generation craftsman and member of The Shoe Service Institute of America’s board of directors. “Instead of repairing shoes we buy new ones and there’s a lot of cheap footwear out there,” notes Ilye Romanov, the 25-year-old entrepreneur who gave my boots a new shot at life.

Too busy to find a repair shop after the Victory Boulevard one closed, I had stuffed the boots into my closet and forgotten about them — until I heard about Romanov’s AmericanHeelers.com, which bills itself as the world’s first online shoe repair. The two-year-old company offers heel stem recovery ($29.99) in addition to shortening the length of high heels ($29.99), dyeing shoes ($21.99) and fixing tassels ($11.99). The company has recently branched out into orthopedic work, building up shoes for those with leg-length discrepancies, through a second Web site, www.orthopedicshoelift.com.

The process is quite simple and not all that different from getting movies through Netflix. Customers log onto AmericanHeelers.com and choose the shoe repair service needed. Within two to three business days, a postage-paid, self-addressed bag will arrive in the mail. Customers stuff their shoes into the bag and drop it in a mailbox. A cobbler based in the American Heelers headquarters in Ohio fixes the shoes. Those who chose not to prepay by credit card are billed via Pay Pal. The shoes are then mailed back within five to seven business days (about the same wait time one would expect at a traditional shoe repair shop).

Romanov, whose father has owned a shoe repair shop since the early ‘90s, when the family emigrated from Kiev, says he created the site because he “saw there was an opportunity.”

“Most other businesses have online presences; the shoe repair industry really does not,” he explains.

Romanov had not grown up planning to join the family business. He never learned the trade and instead, attended the Fisher College of Business at Ohio State University. “My father never wanted me slaving over one shop,” he says. “That’s why he sent me to college.”
Upon graduating, Romanov began a career at a boutique equity research fund. As a sideline, he persuaded his father to let him create a company Web site. The site launched in November 2006, and orders came pouring in, mostly through referrals.

Today, American Heelers employs four full-time cobblers. In 2007, an estimated 1,000 customers placed orders. The company is on track to grow its customer base to 3,000 in 2008, with the average customer spending between $50 and $65.

“My goal is to revolutionize the way people get their shoe repairs done,” he says. “Eventually, the goal is to shift the industry from a brick-and-mortar business to the Internet.”

Tamar S. Snyder is a New York-based journalist specializing in business, personal finance, education and careers. She holds a master’s in journalism from Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism and is a frequent contributor to AOL and MSN. Her work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Inc. Magazine, Edutopia Magazine, and The Jewish Week.

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Attending to Wounded Soles

I chose to do it because I believe that today’s consumers want transparency; they want to know what they are going to pay and what they are going to get for what they spend. Despite having this desire as a consumer myself, I kept my business rates clouded and a little bit confusing up until a few months ago.

It’s interesting: at a restaurant, they will put their prices right up front, but they will keep their recipes secret. In a retail store, each item is marked, but they may not tell you from where the item came. In a marketing firm, they usually keep both their pricing and their methods somewhat secret.

There is a great video about this concept that you might want to check out: The Benefits of Radical Transparency. Let me know what you think!

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Transparency in Marketing

Peter presents Why Self Awareness is Fundamental to Personal Growth (& How to Cultivate It) posted at The Change Blog. “The more doors we open the more doors we discover there are to be opened. Self awareness is the very beginning of personal development. It may very well be the ultimate end.”

Stephen says, “Hi Chandra, There are many tools out there that will help you get the most out of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is always working and running in the background - whether you use the tools or not. The fastest way that I know to manifest with the Law of Attraction is to use the ‘Appreciation Sob’. It has produced miracles for me out of thin air and it puts the Law of Attraction into over drive. See the article to learn more.”

Stephen Martile presents Accelerating the Law of Attraction (Appreciation Sob) posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen Martile.

Surfer Sam says, “Do you truly know yourself? Do you like the person you see? Would you like to become a better person? Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself. It is your sense of personal worth, along with your confidence and your respect for yourself. You have hopes and dreams for yourself, but you don’t know how to reach them. There is a gap between wanting and having, a gap between desiring and realizing your desires. Take heart. You can make changes in your own life, real and lasting changes.”

Surfer Sam presents Building Self Esteem. Skills for Self Improvement and Self Help ! Surfer Sam posted at Surfer Sam and Friends.

MBB presents How To Become A Self Made Millionaire posted at Money Blue Book.   The Process Of Becoming A Millionaire Is Not A Get Rich Quick Scheme, But A Patient and Systematic Approach To Earning, Saving, and Investing Money.

Zhenren presents What is your motivation? posted at Seeing. Knowing. Doing.  He says, ” When your motives first formed, you were a different person, in different circumstances. Recognise this, and you may find that your motive evaporates in the light of your awareness.”

Kelly Turner presents Appetites: Why We Supress Them and Why We Should Stop posted at Grounded Fitness.  Kelly says,  “Women have so many more opportunites than we did 100 years ago. We can vote, go to college, hold jobs- more doors are open to us than ever before. We are equal; we are entitled; we are human. Why do we continue to be ashamed of and supress our most human desires?”

Jeff presents Core advice lasting you a lifetime posted at Gobs Health.     “Here is an article on a book I have high esteem for. It’s a summary of core principles created by Dale Carnegie and my reaction on how they can improve relationships with almost anyone.”  

Chris Edgar says, “Many of us, rationally or otherwise, get nervous in social situations because we worry that others are going to verbally attack us and we’ll be unable to “defend” ourselves.   How do we overcome this fear and regain a sense of composure in our interactions? In this article, I describe three approaches I’ve used myself and in working with others.” 

Chris Edgar presents Calling A Truce In The “War Of Words” posted at Purpose Power Coaching.

Mike Salara presents HOW TO MAKE PATIENCE WORK FOR YOU posted at Mike Salara.

Pearl mattenson presents What do you think of me? chameleon qualities - strengths - handwriting | Carrie and Danielle posted at Carrie and Danielle.     Pearl says, “I believe we are infinitely complex and there is no end to the ways in which we can surprise ourselves.”

Louis Burns presents Crafting Mental Movies For Others posted at NLP Marketing Blog.  This article is about not only visualizing your own goals but the experience you want other people to have as well.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

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A for Authenticity Blog Roundup

The world around us is changing. Maybe we have been a stay-at-home mom and now we’re facing the prospect of working out in the work force. We’re used to play dates at the park and McDonald’s luncheons. Our old t-shirt and comfortable jeans won’t cut it anymore. We’re already feeling overwhelmed as it is - I mean, maybe our only professional references have long since died or we can’t even remember their names. We’ve been changing diapers or shuttling kids to soccer practices for the last decade - and now we must change our tune.

One of the first things we may think of is our budget. How are we supposed to dress for success if we’re going back to work because we need more money? Clothes cost money. And nice clothes, even fashionable clothing, costs even more money. We may have to dip into our pockets for the essentials in women’s clothing, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Let’s go over some basics that we should have in our closets - these basics should cover the gamut: from casual to work to evening wear.

• A button down white shirt. This can be flattering to your figure if you choose a style that has darts for shaping. It’s also versatile - can be worn under a suit, or with a pair of jeans as an outer layer with a stylish camisole underneath, or even buttoned up with a skirt.
• A simple skirt. Choose between a pencil skirt or an A-line skirt. If the pencil is too hip-hugging - an A-line skirt may be perfect for the curvier woman.
• A suit. This could be essential if you’re searching for a job. Look for a three-piece suit: jacket, skirt and pant. This way you’ll get the most out of your money. The jacket can be worn with a pair of jeans for a more casual day, or over a dress. The pants can be worn with a variety of different tops. And the skirt can double up as the ’simple skirt’ essential listed above. The various combinations of outfits can be accentuated with different styles of shoes.
• Jeans. Maybe your work, or the interviewing process doesn’t allow for jeans, but every woman needs a good pair of jeans. Buy jeans with a dark wash for better matching, and jeans that are long enough if you want the versatility of wearing heels for a dressier look. Choose the boot-cut or slim cut - whatever suits your figure best. Jeans can be dressed down or up; wear with a silk blouse or even a simple t-shirt.
• Black dress. This is a must. You can dress this up or down. Choose one with a hemline that’s flattering to your body shape. In the summer, wear with a pretty pair of sandals. In the winter, pair with a blazer and boots. And for an elegant evening out, complement it with a pair of fashionable high heels.
• The layers. This is where you add the color and the variety. Stock up on t-shirts and camisoles, chunky beads, belts and bags.
• A wool coat. A classic wool coat can take you through years of changing fashion — just mix it up with trendy accessories; a large wrap scarf, hat etc.
• Sunglasses. Everyone needs a pair of these — to protect our eyes and for fun. There are so many styles out there that can complement every face shape.

So now we have an idea what we need to make an easy and ever-changing wardrobe, but still, money is tight. Let’s go over a couple of ways we can find these basics at a nominal price.

• Clothing swap. Make a party out of it. Have your friends bring gently used clothing and let everyone choose among the items. This way you can get rid of the old, and bring in some ‘new.’
• Online retailers. Online shopping or internet stores save us money by not actually running a physical store, so good deals can be found. Do some comparison shopping from the comfort of your own home.

Make a plan, purge your wardrobe, have a clothing swap, and then bargain shop for those essentials via the internet or wholesale clothing. Our own personal style may change as we age and it’s always rejuvenating to rid ourselves of our clothing clutter and really scrutinize what we need. Let’s remember to always be authentic to our own health and beauty and develop our own style which enhances our body type and shape.

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Women’s Clothing - Dress For Success on a Budget

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In a recession, should you settle?

1. Facebook: I like Facebook - it’s fun! I just can’t figure out why so many businesses use it for shameless self-promotion. There seem to be two ways to use it: for genuine friendship reconnection and for yucky, over-the-top marketing promotion. There must be a way to find a blance, but so far the only people using it for marketing purposes are just kind of yucky.

2. Podcasts: I read “Podcasting for Dummies,” and I get the concept, but what I can’t find is anyone who listens to podcasts - other than podcasters themselves. Is there a true marketing opportunity here? I really don’t know.

3. Site Conversion: It seems like we need to re-vamp our sites into more targeted sales machines, but, as with Facebook, it feels to me like the people who are doing this are cheezy and a little yucky. There has to be a way to be an authentic, transparent marketer online without being perceived as “yucky,” right?

I’m working on solutions for all of these, but would love to hear comments and ideas if you have any!

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3 Things I Can’t Figure Out

I used to be a lurker.

You know who they are: those surfers of the web who revel in dark, unknown corners.  Who consume but don’t reciprocate. Whose existence is known to none but themselves, whose presence we are never aware of as anything more than a number on our blog stats that might pique our curiosity. They lurk and disappear back into cyberspace, and no one ever has to know; no trace of them is left behind.

I knew the ups and downs of Penelope’s divorce, Ryan’s workaholism; but until recently I had never so much as left a single comment on any of their blogs. Your first reaction might be: creep! But something like 90% of blog readers are equally creepy lurkers. Chances are, you are lurking right now and will read, digest, and move along without ever saying a thing to me (including you, email subscribers - I know who you are!). You’ll never voice your opinion. So before you call me a creep, don’t forget what you’re doing right now: creeping.

Daring to commit your opinions and your intellectual thoughts down in words, permanently etched into pixels in cyberspace, is unnerving. It takes balls that most people don’t have, and that is why the vast majority of users of the Web are what we so affectionately refer to as lurkers. They’re afraid to voice their opinion and let anyone who Googles them find them; afraid that someone will disagree and criticize them.

I was one of those, and I was hiding. And for a long time that was a theme in my life: hiding. I have about 4 drafts of blog posts I have written over the years, saved in my archives, about how I hide different parts of my life from everyone. But, in my typical fashion, I never posted one of them. Because it takes courage to even blog in the first place. It makes you an outlier, it makes you different, and that opens you up to a whole new level of scrutiny.

Blogging is at once intensely personal, yet unnervingly public. And it connects people in the most individual, human, personal way. Of my college-age friends, I have very few who have blogs. And when one of them first started her blog, she proceeded to get mocked and made fun of behind her back, constantly. Her blog is a joke to the rest of them, constantly bantered about; every new post is gossip fodder, eagerly devoured. Spending so much time around people like that had left me paralyzed, afraid to just be who I am; and prancing around in that living charade was exceptionally tiring. Why did I care about these people again? It was illogical and irrational.

The difference between me pre-blog and me post-blog is simple: I went from an invisible, hiding lurker to a real person, and an outlier. Seems simple, but that transformation is empowering in a way you’d never expect. I went from letting others define me to defining myself. Instead of always having to hide what I do from people, I can just…be. I have something to say that is worth saying, and I actively contribute to the conversation.

It’s no longer a simple matter of writing a blog and hoping someone reads: it overflows into every other area of my life. Now, I want to have more conversations and put out my opinion on everything. I want to seek out new people and new perspectives and constantly learn from everyone around me. I want to explore new ideas, challenge them, and be challenged. I want to do something worth doing, instead of just what everyone else is doing. And sadly, though perhaps not surprisingly, most people aren’t willing to do that. But blogger are.

The mockers matter less and less, because, really, I’d rather drop them from my life now. When one of my favorite writers, who is far, far more successful than me, emailed me out of the blue and told me she loved a piece I wrote, the game changed a little. When my work started to get noticed by some others, the game changed a little. I no longer care to be just one of millions of college kids that are exactly the same. Who wants to blend in?

I realized I am different from them, but instead of continuing to try to hide it I started to reluctantly embrace it. I constantly strive to be an outlier, to be above and beyond, to put myself out there and be someone who challenges the status quo — and not someone who maintains it. I no longer want to be part of the norm. As one blogger said, that’s fifth place, when I know I want first. But if your presence is never known, how will you make an impact? How will you leave your mark? The simple act of voicing your opinion and expressing yourself means you are challenging the status quo, however insignificant you feel. But if you aren’t visible, to the world you don’t exist. If you’re just lurking and not participating, you’re outdated, obsolete, last year’s season. That’s not even fifth place; that’s invisibility.

Now, I’m no longer letting things happen to me. I don’t let others tell me what to do. I don’t believe in destiny; I just go out and make things happen. And I tend to brazenly defy everyone who doesn’t believe me. I realized that the way I defined myself and my life had to change. And in doing so, I won the inner battle that has been raging inside of me for twenty years. I killed the inner critic, the voice that stops so many people from doing great things. I stopped living for what other people think, and started living solely to create an impact and a difference.

And blogging, and everything and everyone that came with it, are what forced that change.

So when I sat down to write a post about how blogging has changed my life, many things came to mind. I wanted to write something as flawless as Andrew Sullivan’s brilliant essay, “Why I Blog.” But I am not Andrew Sullivan, so I can’t. Instead I thought of all the things I had learned, the advice I had gained, the opportunities I’ve received, the people I had interviewed and the late night discussions I’ve had when I could have been studying. And those have all been amazing things. But to this day, nothing compares to the surprising rush of empowerment that comes in that moment when you hold your breath and hit the ‘Publish’ button. It’s your blog, and no one can fuck with you there.

It’s something those legions of lurkers will never understand.

—–

(Hat tip to BC - what a challenge. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever written!)

Nisha Chittal is a writer and journalist who currently serves as Associate Editor of CitizenJanePolitics.com and is a political columnist for UniversityChic.com. Her personal blog is Politicoholic, where she offers commentary on a range of topics, including but not limited to politics, technology, and the changing role of women and Generation Y in politics today.

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Forget careers. Blogging changes lives

“If you don’t want to, then don’t,” my mother replies.

But it’s more complicated than that, and I tell her why. I tell her that I really do what to be with him - a lot - but I don’t know how. I tell her that I’ve been sabotaging the relationship, and I don’t know how to stop. I confess everything, and feel the weight dissipate.

“You do look for problems,” she says. “You push things too far. You test people too much. That’s not good. So now you need to figure out if you’re going to mature and grow up or not.”

I’m silent because normally my mother tells me how great I am, how I can do no wrong, and how all men suck. It is the Gen Y parenting creed. But tonight, I am not so lucky.

“Why do you think you’re picking fights?” my mother presses. “You must be doing it for a reason – a lack of confidence in yourself, or in him?”

I concede that I don’t feel like my life is together enough to be in a relationship. And that I’m worried Zeus will sell his company, get rich and dump me. Or we’ll get married, live happily and divorce at the age of 40. Or that he won’t remember to suggest we eat something when I’m moody. Because I get cranky when I’m hungry.

These are the things I worry about. I am a woman. And this is what we do.

Women need constant reassurance, and the only way we know how to get it is to fight, and push buttons, and push past the buttons all the way to the brink of breaking up, so we can see – will he be there then?

My mother argues men can deal with this at first, but it adds up and is like a brick falling from the sky each time. It builds and it is cumulative and eventually they have a wall, and they think I don’t need this. I don’t need to be unhappy, nothing I do ever works or helps, and I can’t make her happy. This isn’t the way I want to live, men think.

And there’s a limit to what a man can take, my mother says.

“And you - ” she continues, “you need to live for today and for you. You can’t know the future. And nothing about your past relationships is pertinent for today. You have to resist the urge to fight. Resist the urge to be angry in an instant over nothing, resist pushing to the breaking point constantly.”

Careers are like this. Maybe you have an idea, or you really want something, or all of your dreams are suddenly within reach. But you make up excuses of why you can’t get there. You prove every hypothesis on why it won’t work. You extrapolate the worst. You don’t call people when you should. You think less of yourself than you used to. You ask others to comfort your decisions. You trip over your own accomplishments just to see – are you on the right path?

Lucky for you, careers are often just as forgiving and patient as men in the beginning, but you have to grow up for continued success. You have to mature before the wall seems insurmountable.

“It is work,” my mother concludes. “It’s a lot of work. But if it’s truly in your heart, you have to do that. You have to work to make it happen.”

Motherly advice.

Rebecca Thorman (www.modite.com) gives career advice for the next generation of workers. Barely out of college, Rebecca job-hopped her way to becoming the Executive Director of MAGNET, an organization dedicated to attracting and retaining young talent in her region. During that time, she also began authoring the blog Modite, featured in several media outlets including the New York Times as the key community for Generation Y leadership. Rebecca is known for writing candidly from experience.

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Careers are like relationships, so ask your mom for advice

In this current economy there is one thing we can be certain of…change. It may be good change or bad change, but we can expect to experience lots of changes. Mom entrepreneur Rebecca Rodskog is the owner of Rodskog Change Consulting. Established in 2007, the company helps people grow through change.

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Inspiring Women: Rebecca Rodskog

We always want to be someplace other than where we are at.  Here he was sitting in beautiful Tampa and he was sad because  he wanted ” to be in Tampa”.  The mind is very tricky and if we let our thoughts lead us around, we will always be one step away from the action.  It is only in this present moment that you and the action become one.  When your life finally begins to rock n roll you never want to be any place other where you are at. Real peace, contentment and joy come from surrendering to the moment.

If you like what you’ve read, you’re invited right now to Join the thousands who receive Chandra’s FREE daily email “Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH” for a daily dose of clarity and truth.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

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Being in the Present Moment

Stacey Corbett, mother of twins, and owner of One Tiny Suitcase, is confident that she can survive this recession if she thinks creatively and continues to look for new opportunities.

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Inspiring Women: Stacey Corbett

“Abu Dhabi-based Hydra Properties just recently completed excavation for Eve’s Tower, which it says will be the world’s first exclusive tower for women entrepreneurs. Located in downtown Dubai’s Business Bay, Eve’s Tower will be part of the iconic Hydra Towers Project comprising five uniquely shaped, high-rise towers. It will feature a sleek design and high-tech facilities, rising 20 floors and facing Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world. While men will be allowed to work there, only women will be able to own office space, and women will enjoy special entrances, elevators and car parks as well, according to a report in Arabian Business. Sulaiman Al Fahim, Hydra’s CEO, explains: “We have conceptualized the building as a tribute to the nurturing spirit of womanhood, world over. I’m confident that the tower will lead to a new awakening and unleash the latent entrepreneurial talent of UAE women and contribute to the overall growth of the nation and region.” Eve’s Tower is slated to be completed by 2010.”

Just to be cynical: I’m not sure the building has been designated women-only in order to pay “a tribute to the nurturing spirit of womanhood, world over”.  Could it be that the separation between the sexes in Dubai has taken on a whole new meaning that we need separate buildings?  Anyway, it’s an interesting trend and will be interesting to watch to see how this all pans out.

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For women only: prime office tower

Time Management seems to be a very important concept in our busy society. It is not about freeing our time but rather about doing more within the same 24-hour timeframe that we have. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find a technique that would allow us to achieve more in a less time so we would have more time to enjoy our lives?

Here is where the Pareto principles or 80/20 rule comes in. If you succeed to adapt this principle to your life it will literally make you free. How you can apply it to your life?

Identify 20% of your activities that bring 80% of the results and eliminate the remaining 80% of your activities that contribute to just 20% of your results.

This is very easy to say. In practice it requires some thinking and work to implement.

Start from listing all the activities that you perform during the day and see how productive they are. Are there any that can be eliminated without any important consequences? Are there any that can be done less frequently or delegated that could free up your time during the day?

Can you change the way you do things to accelerate them? Can you find some ways to automate repetitive tasks? For example if you use Excel macro feature you can automate the creation of many laborious reports. This will not only save you time but also help you achieve the same results with minimum effort and stress.

There are also special software programs that can help you automate almost everything you do now on the computer. Another way to free up some time is to outsource the repetitive tasks if you can afford it. This way you can concentrate your time on what is important, what contributes to the most output. You will also be able to achieve more with less effort.

Being constantly busy doesn’t mean being productive. If you successfully apply this principle into your life you’ll be able to achieve what you want in fewer steps, minimum effort and less time.

Do you need help to make your dreams come true? Do you need to learn the spiritual and practical steps to do that? The Law of Attraction really works but if you don’t take an action and if you don’t learn how to manage your daily activities in a more efficient way, you will not attain anything meaningful. Visit http://www.pathstopower.net for a free book and more details. Lynn Alex is a Life-Skills Coach, Yoga Teacher and holds other diplomas in the field of holistic well-being. She is an American Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner.

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How to Apply 80-20 Rule to Your Life

I recently saw Elvis Costello interview Sir Elton John on his great new talk show “Spectacle” on the Sundance Channel. Sir John said that early on he knew he wanted to be involved with music. If he couldn’t make it as a musician, he said, he would work in music publishing, songwriting, or some aspect of the business. And true to his goals, he got his start as a “tea boy” in a famous London music publisher’s office, carrying around tea and gathering up stray sheet music. He said that although the work was drudgery, it was exciting to be around and work around musicians and songwriters. We all know how success has followed him.

To find your best place to work,

1. Read these 6 statements about Holland’s Theory of Career Choice.
2. Learn what your highest two personality scores are and think about the types of people you’d enjoy working with. Past job experience and relationships may help guide you.
3. Brainstorm how your life, both through a career and leisure activities, could incorporate your dominant personality types. In your day job, you might work in one environment (social work) and have fun “off the clock” in a different environment (fixing classic cars).
4. Consider careers that combine your top two personality types. Ideally you would find an occupation that was the best of both worlds. For example, an art gallery owner combines the Enterprising and Artistic personality types. You may be able to create one through self-employment. Like a therapist who counsels businesspeople, lawyers, and other Enterprising people.

Using these suggestions to identify working environments that are compatible with your personality will help you choose a career likely to lead to job satisfaction. Why not work with people you like?

This blog post was graciously submitted to BizzyWomen by The Career Key Blog, run by Juliet Wehr Jones, J.D.  The Career Key™ gives you expert help with your career search and career choices — career change, career planning, job skills, and choosing a college major. Our career assessment helps you find a career by matching your personality with careers and providing you complete and accurate information about each career you choose to explore.

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4 Ways to Find Your Best Place to Work

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Fear of Flying

It doesn’t have to be that way!

Here are 3 Ways to Build a Business that doesn’t Suck You Dry:

1. Know what you want: what lifestyle are you looking for? Are you single and willing to work 24-7? Are you married with children and only have a limited amount of time and energy available? Build your business according to the lifestyle you want first. Nothing else matters as much as this!
2. Know what you need: how much money do you need to make? Take a hard look at the market or industry that you are considering, and make sure that it will be able to afford you the income that you desire based on the answer to Question No. 1
3. Get help: hire people to help you strategically based on what you don’t like to do. Try to avoid the perfectionist trap of not being able to let go of all the tasks because you don’t think that anyone can do them as well as you can. In order to achieve your answer to Question No. 1, you simply must figure out how to get and accept help.

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3 Ways to Build a Business That Doesn’t Suck You Dry

people networking

1.  Find a good location.  You want to have a place to host your guest, this can be a restaurant with a private room, your home or another location where

2.  Make a list of the network member whom you want to invite.  I try to make sure that I am putting the right people in the room so that I can introduce them to one another.  I use Evite to send my invitations, this is an on-line invitation that takes your RSVP’s, allows you to read comments and send thank you notes.

3.  Food - this up to you.  What type of event are you having, a private sit down dinner for your guest, or a more casual networking event with finger foods and drinks.  Make sure you know your budget, these do not have to be expensive events.  They can be as simple as cheese & crackers with some wine and soft drinks.

4.  Connecting your members, make sure that you are connecting members to one another.  You are the host and you know who is in the room.  If you are hosting a great event there will be new people as well as some whom already know each other.  One of the things that I often do is tell my guest that their entry requires that they bring someone to the event that I have not met.  This allows new people to be in the room and I have the opportunity to meet some knew people.

5.  Make your event regular and by invitation only.  Soon you will have a buzz of people who will want to attend your events.  My events are once per quarter with the last event of the year being a private Christmas Party.   The purpose of the events that we host are to keep in front of our clients, introduce them to one another, and introduce new people into the group. 

Give some thought to whom you would like to have in the room.  The graduates of our Referral Institute Programs are always invited, then we give thought to whom else will be in the room.  Sometimes we will ask that attendees bring their best customer, bring someone from their network who has never attended before, their boss, or someone that I the hostess, has never met before.  Having a good mix of people who know each other and people who don’t makes for a great networking event.

These event will keep you in touch with your network, keep your network in touch with each other, and allow the network to meet new people whom they may be able to do business with.  So, next year, plan some private networking events for yourself and your network.

Hazel  owns and operates a franchisee of Referral Institute, a worldwide referral marketing training organization. As a Master Trainer, Hazel provides business-expansion expertise to entrepreneurs and corporations by teaching business