As women all too often we try to do a million things at once — and then we suddenly wake up to the unpleasant reality that this just isn’t possible.  You’re only human — and capable as you may be, you can only take on so much.  So in the spirit of digging out from under, here are some tips for dealing with overwhelm.

• Identify: A big part of feeling overwhelmed is not knowing where to start.  Try to pick three areas of your life: personal, relationship and career/professional and write down ALL the nagging things (both big and small) that are rippling under the surface and effecting your peace of mind.  This “brain dump” alone can be useful in that it shows you what you really need to deal with so that it’s not as  Getting Things Done author, David Allen so aptly terms it, “a nebulous mass of undo-ability“
• Prioritize: Once you identify the items in each category, rank them on a scale of 1 to 5.  1 being very important, 5 being very trivial. 
• Decide: Of all the #1 items on your to-do list decide: 1) which are the ones that are the most important to you in terms of life goals, values, passions and 2) which tasks/projects once accomplished will give you the most bang for your proverbial buck.
• Act:  Break your top 3 most important tasks into 3 actionable subtasks and decide what is the next “actionable” step that you could take towards its attainment.  Many times we feel overwhelmed because we see a mountain and think we are supposed to leap over it…we forget that it is a process and that it is made up of lots of smaller tasks which are victories in themselves.  So “clean out attic” (something I just did a few weeks ago) becomes “call carting service to rent dumpster” and “buy plastic organizers“, etc.
• Assign:  Tim Ferris, in his worthwhile (if a wee bit optimistic) book, The Four-Hour Work Week talks a lot about the importance of farming out tasks that you do not need to do.  He is a big proponent of leveraging high school and college students — even virtual assistants overseas to handle mundane tasks that can be real time-wasters
• Just Say “No”: Too many people (women, in particular) are uncomfortable with saying “no”.  I’m not always great at it myself….but I’m getting better.  I think a reasonable way to avoid getting committed to projects you’d just as soon leave alone, is to buy yourself sometime and never answer on the fly, if possible.  You can save yourself a great deal of kicking yourself afterward by going with something like, “I really can’t commit to that right now because I have a lot going on and always want to an excellent job on whatever I commit to.  I’m going to look at my calendar and commitments and get back to you”.  Then afterward do some soul searching and make sure that you are doing something that you want to do or feel is important to do.
• 6 A Day:  The legend is that Charles Schwab paid a friend $25,000 for this idea because it radically improved the effectiveness of his organization.  Pick 6 (no more, no less) of your high-priority, next actionable step tasks and do them each work day.  Where will you get the most traction on the things that matter to you most?  Whether it is having a better relationship with your kid — or getting  that new client.
• Let Go:  Overwhelm is often a product of staying on the treadmill of success for a long time and not realizing that you need at least one (preferably two) days off per week.   Stephen Covey author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People calls this “sharpening the saw”.  The joke is that this guy is trying to saw this tree with a dull saw.  He’s sweating, straining, not being very effective.  So another guy says, “Hey, why not take a break and sharpen that saw?”.  To which the first gentleman replies incredulously, “Can’t you see I’m trying to cut down this tree?!!“.  In other words, if your mental “blades” are dull and rusty you can’t be very effective.

Just some thoughts to get this thing rolling in the spirit of  “Hey, I’m doing the best I can.  Doing pretty darn good — and trying to get a little better every day“.  I hope you find some of these tips helpful in reducing your stress load. 

Now if you’ll excuse me…I need to go and remind myself of what I just wrote .

  Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS is an exercise physiologist, certified personal trainer, author of Fit + Female:  The Complete Fitness and Nutrition Game Plan for Your Unique Body Type and the creator of The Best Me Ever, a comprehensive weight loss and wellness system just for women.  It’s a first of its kind program designed to fit into a busy women’s life.  Lose weight and look great — 90 Day Unconditional Money Back Guarantee!!

Your relationships with family and friends have a big impact on your career choices and career decisions – and the holidays focus on these relationships more than any other time of year. Are you stuck in career indecision and feel your friends or family might judge you for it? Are you considering a career they might not approve of?  

Especially in the U.S., where so much focus is on your job (think social gathering and the typical opening question – “how’s the job search?” or “how’s work (or school)?”), handling career questions or opinions about your choices from those close to you can be awkward.  

Here are 3 steps to positively anticipate and handle those questions and influences using The Career Key’s High-Quality Decisions self-help article: 

1. Identify any pressure you feel from family or friends – positive or negative – about your career plans. To help you, download a free “Decision Balance Sheet” and complete it for the job or career options you’re considering. Check out this list of Career Choice Consequences to help you “see” what issues may be weighing on you. Your choice may be so welcomed by your friends or family that you feel uncomfortable pressure to be successful or “perfect.” Expectations may need to be lowered.
2. Make a plan for how you will handle each person’s concerns or reactions to your career choice or career indecision. That way you’re not left unprepared (and maybe anxious).

For example, if you’ve been laid off and you haven’t decided if you will go back to school, then prepare and practice a script for how you will answer your mother’s well-meaning but loaded question at the holiday dinner table, “how ARE you?” Instead of saying “things are fine,” which you know will result in cool or hurt silence, wouldn’t it be better to say:

“I’m deciding on whether to go to grad school. I had two informational interviews last month with graduates of the ___ school I’m considering and I’ve got two more scheduled for after Christmas. It’s pretty interesting what’s I’ve learned about _______(the post-graduation job market, financial aid, interesting classes).”

Imagine how your mom will brighten at hearing about what you are doing. With mothers, sometimes giving them more information is better than less, right? (I hope my mother is not reading this post.) 

Or if you are seriously considering a career change from a more secure (if such a thing exists anymore) career like a civil-service government position to starting a business – how have you planned for the risks or consequences and your significant others’ reaction to it? 

Take advantage of family and friends well-meaning interest in you to make sure your career plans and research are as organized and “on track” as you would like. It may have the side benefit of forcing you to set goals for yourself – short-term, realistic and achievable – to get things moving in a positive direction.

The Career Key Blog, run by Juliet Wehr Jones, J.D.  The Career Key™ gives you expert help with your career search and career choices  career change, career planning, job skills, and choosing a college major. Our career assessment helps you find a career by matching your personality with careers and providing you complete and accurate information about each career you choose to explore.

There are a lot of websites that talk about choosing a college major and tell you what to major in. But The Career Key is the only website to offer majors advice based on solid science and independent research proven to lead to a successful education decision. We just launched the most comprehensive resource out there – and it’s affordable and easy to use.

Why does The Career Key offer the best way to choose a college major or post secondary program? Unlike other approaches it:

1. Uses a scientifically valid career test to match your interests and personality with majors and training programs;
2. Offers you the most education choices (all of the 1,400+ college majors and training programs listed by the U.S. and Canadian governments);
3. Shows you careers related to educational programs that match your personality;
4. Shows you accurate, comprehensive, up to date information about each career;
5. Organizes all the programs and careers in a unique way developed by recognized vocational expert Dr. Lawrence K. Jones that is easy to explore; and
6. Links you to a description of each major and program that interests you.
7. All this information only costs $14.50 when you purchase the eBook, The Education Key: Choosing the Right College Major, Training, or Instructional Program, and The Career Key test together. And we offer a special, affordable group discount for both.

Did you both agree that you’d be a stay-at-home mom and now your husband tells you “You have it easy?” Do you feel you do “everything” around the house and feel resentful because of it?

1. Did you both decide you would stay home and raise the children and he would have a job outside the house?

• If you both decided on how you would divide the duties in your house, why are you now having these issues?
• Just because a woman agrees to take care of the children does not mean she will take care of everything. It also does not mean that she can be financially irresponsible and not know what she has and doesn’t have.
• And just because a man makes the money, does not mean that he is not part of taking care of the house and children.

2.  Both partners do different jobs during the day, but at day’s end, both are parents and both are responsible for the life they have created.

• Expressing gratitude for one another’s contribution is the key to a strong, healthy relationship. 
• Does your husband value what you do as much as he values what he does?
• Are you secure in what you do and do you feel like an equal partner in the relationship? 

3. Does your husband or partner tell you “You have it easy” and do you defend your position?

• If you feel you are doing your job, never let anyone tell you that you have it easy; and never defend yourself.
• When your partner says that to you, he is either being critical or resentful; he is not sharing his real feelings with you.
• If one partner is resentful, it will erode the relationship. 

4. Does the moneymaker have the power in your relationship?

• It’s unfortunate, but making money seems to often take precedence over doing good work.
• Do not feel controlled because you do not make the money.
• If you feel powerful in your position, you will not allow yourself to be diminished.

5.  Do you feel that what you do is as important as what your husband does?

• You need to feel good about what you do. If you feel your contribution is less than your husbands’s or feel you are afraid to work for a living, you will always be in a one down position.
• Knowing you can take care of yourself, gives you the power to do whatever you want and feel good about it.
• Remember, no one can ever make you feel less about yourself unless you feel that way already.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

When I first started creating, writing and designing companies’ e-newsletters, we simply adapted the format we marketers had used for print newsletters. Now, however, with a huge proliferation of e-mail marketing out there, we have to be more strategic. Here are three quick tips for making your e-mail marketing work:

1. Build your list slowly. The print newsletter model allowed us to mass-mail, but that is heavily frowned on in the e-mail world. Instead, slowly build an opt-in list of people who actually want to hear from you.

2. Avoid graphics. This is hard for me to say, since I love graphics, but with so many handheld devices acting as people’s main form of e-mail retrieval, graphic-heavy e-newsletters can actually work against you. Stick to simple text, and you have a better chance of getting your e-mail read while someone is waiting for their flight or sitting in a doctor’s office.

3. Keep it short and simple. This is also hard for me to say, since I love to write, but there simply isn’t time in the day to read all of the information that passes through our e-mail boxes. Use bolding and bullets so that your readers can quickly skim your e-newsletter.

Virginia Ginsburg is an entrepreneur and business & marketing consultant who delivers strategic, affordable marketing services through her company accordionmarketing. She also writes a blog called Body > Mind > Business, which discuses the connection between business health and personal health, and the struggles she faces in pursuit of work-life balance. Virginia has an MBA from the University of Southern California and is currently (slowly) pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology at UCLA. She has more than 12 years of experience as a senior marketing consultant, and has served as a trusted partner, coach and consultant to more than 100 sole proprietors, partnerships and corporations. 
Virginia lives in Santa Monica, CA with her husband and daughter. As part of her passion for working with entrepreneurs, Virginia is actively involved in small business development projects in the U.S. and in developing countries.

Divorce can be one of the most stressful times of your life- it’s painful finishing your relationship, it can get messy and when children are involved it gets even more emotionally complicated. You have to deal with your own pain, and try your best to help your children through it, too. Kids all react to divorce differently. You’ll need to be both strong emotionally and patient with them, because children tend to cope with divorce by acting out in some ways. A few steps you can take to help make the change for your kids as painless as possible:

1. Talk to them. They’ll need to know exactly what changes will happen, in the most straight-forward language as possible. This means no playing the blame-game or pointing fingers at your almost-ex. You should both show your children a united front, letting them know that it has nothing to do with them. That you still love them unconditionally, even if your relationship with your partner has changed. Also watch what and how you say things to other people when your children are around. They’ll be listening closely and any additional negativity will be picked up on.
2. Make the change gradually. Try to keep things as normal as possible. Small changes over a period of time helps children adjust to the divorce. You should also include them in the process, or explaining as you go why these changes are happening. The more honest you are, without judgment, the better off your kids will be in understanding and coping.
3. Let them express themselves. They’ll be adjusting just as much as you are to the divorce. Keep tabs on their emotions, and pay attention to any changes or mood swings. Let them tell you how they’re feeling openly. They might not say what you want to hear but they need to know their feelings are just as important as yours. They shouldn’t feel like they’re walking on eggshells, and if they think they have to hold things in they’ll be reactive later.
4. Be supportive. Helping your children cope with your divorce involves a lot of security issues. They need full knowledge that they’ll have some changes, but that they’ll still be loved and taken care of by both of you. This doesn’t mean that you should shower them with toys, but give them emotional affection. Remember that each child reacts differently: some will be much quieter, some will act as if nothing happened or that there aren’t any changes and some will have behavior issues, even months after the divorce.
5. Give yourself time for you. You’ll need to be strong enough for both you and your children, which means keeping to the same schedules they’re used to, eating right and taking care of yourself. You’ll have your own emotional needs to take care of- it’s a long process. The best way you can help your children with the divorce is by making sure you’re OK.

It will be difficult getting you and your family through the divorce. But you can do it. Realizing how to help your children cope can help you put the pieces back together. Giving you all the ability to move forward in a positive way.

This post was written by Janet Aronica, a rock star PR grad from St. John Fisher College who is the Boston entry-level career examiner and intern at SHIFT. Follow her on Twitter and check out her blog.

A Degree Isn’t a Job Guarantee

This NY Post article has me razzled. A 27-year-old graduate of Monroe College is suing her alma mater because she can’t find a job. I’m sorry, Gradzilla, but a career services counselor isn’t your Fairy Godmother and a bachelor’s degree isn’t a magic wand. Just because you went to college does not mean you are entitled to a job.

From a young age we are told that if we go to school, study hard, get good grades, and go to a great college, we can be anything we want to be. Politicians and some well-meaning yet self-preserving educators alike pound the inflated-importance of college into our heads.

This message has a negative impact on just about every student. The truth is that college is overrated. Not every student can graduate in the top ten and get into a really “good school.” Consequently, those students feel discouraged about the prospects of future success just because of their academic track records. On the flip-side, those who do get the grades and get into “good schools” can’t rely only on their education to get ahead. College isn’t the golden ticket to success. It is a stepping stone.

Here’s my story: I went to school. I studied hard. But no matter how hard I tried, I sucked at math and sucked at science. I’m not sure which one I sucked more at. I clearly remember third grade, little Janet, scoring less than 50 percent on some addition/subtraction homework and sitting there wondering what the eff was going on when the teacher rambled about tadpoles and ecosystems. Honestly, I still suck at math and I still suck at science; I always need a calculator to figure out what to tip and quite frankly I don’t always understand what they are talking about on the Weather Channel. (So I smile and nod, flip my hair, and blog about it.)

No writing award or A in English or history class could overcompensate for the less-than-stellar grades I got in math and science. My GPA was around a 90 percent. It was decent, but wasn’t awesome enough to get me into my dream school. In high school, I was surrounded by the idea that failing to get into *the* college (an ivy league or something close to it) was a self-imposed life-sentence to mediocrity. Heading to your safety school? Get ready for a lifetime living at home with mom and dad. Scored less than a 1500 on the SAT? You might as well sign up for welfare.

In contrast, many kids succeed academically. Some have to work extremely hard at it. For others, it comes quite easily. Either way, we throw them up on a pedestal, toss academic awards their way, accept them into prestigious colleges, and fill their heads with a false sense of security.

Millenials are all-too-often criticized for their supposed sense of entitlement. I think the alleged “you owe me” factor stems from a lifetime of homework, standardized testing, over-nighters and intense pressure to scholastically achieve – all leading to the allusive light at the end of the tunnel: graduation. Students come out of college, pockets empty, heads full of theoretical facts and knowledge, slapped in the face with the fact that getting good grades and getting a good degree from a “good school” just isn’t enough. Everything you ever worked for doesn’t cut it. That’s not entitlement you sense. It’s disappointment.

To peel back another layer of the issue, I think there’s a point to make about the financials behind the frustration. Many internships are unpaid. Extracurricular involvement is unpaid. Membership in professional organizations and attendance at networking conferences usually costs money. Personally, I was able to do multiple unpaid internships and be an extracurricular junkie because I got a lot of financial help from my wonderful parents. They’re generous, and career-wise they are in a position to help. But what about the students who are paying for college on their own? Many students work full-time just to pay for the education. How do they fit in anything other than class work?

I feel for students like this. As for those in this situation, in my humble opinion, I would suggest going part time and taking an extra year or two to finish the degree. Even if it takes longer, it seems to me that it would be a much wiser investment to come out with a degree and have the time to work, intern, and network – as opposed to rushing through and graduating with no industry experience at all.

Times are different for graduates these days. A degree doesn’t give you an extra edge in the job market when just about everybody has one. You need internships. You need real world experience. You need to network. No one will hire you (legally) to write a term paper. You need to gain skills that will apply in a setting outside of the classroom so that you can contribute something a company can pay you for.

When it comes to college, the old saying is true: It isn’t where you go – it’s what you do with it.

College is a business. Businesses want to make money. To make money, businesses market themselves to you to sell you a product or service. Colleges want you to pay tuition, so they sell you degrees. To get you to attend and pay tuition, they market their brand to you. They brand themselves with promises of prestige, job placement, mentorship, challenge, fun, experiences, status, and success. And you know what? College can be fun, but you can’t have fun if you don’t go to the party. College can be challenging, but you can’t be challenged if you don’t go to class. College can offer status, but you can’t earn status if you don’t network with the alums. College can offer prestige, but that means nothing if you don’t leverage that reputation and apply for a job or an internship.

I’m a fresh graduate, and hindsight is 20/20. What I know and feel about education becomes clearer every day. By this time next year, I’m sure that my understanding and appreciation for education will change, and deepen. But what I know for sure is this: I wouldn’t give back a single night that I cried over my math homework or a single sunny afternoon I spent after school getting extra help from my chemistry teacher. It taught me that things don’t always come easily. Because of my issues and inabilities with math and science, I’ve always expected that I would have to go the extra mile to get what I want – so I do. It prepared me for the challenge, and sometimes failure, of searching for internships and jobs. In the end, I don’t think I needed my dream school.

Can’t decide on a career? Evaluating which career options will have better job opportunities? I’ve done the work to get you started with your decision. The biggest problem with researching how “in demand” a career will be is that there is a lot of information about industry growth, job creation, etc. that is hard to digest.

So I created a cheat sheet of job outlook organized by Career Key Work Group/Holland Personality type. A work group is the helpful way we organize careers within a personality type. Each group is based on skills, abilities and interests developed by Dr. Lawrence K. Jones, a recognized vocational expert. For example, “Literary Arts” is the first work group for the Artistic personality type.

First, take The Career Key test (Canadian version) and learn what your strongest Holland personality types are and choose careers that interest you. Then, read this 7 post series (Intro + 6 personality types) to learn more about the job prospects of the work groups and careers you chose.

To begin, a few facts and trends to keep in mind:

• In the U.S. and Canada, the goods-based economy is transitioning to a service based one. We are making fewer things and consuming more services. And the things we do make are more complex and require more skills to produce. A high-school diploma will no longer get you a living wage production job without more training. A lot of poorly paid, low skilled jobs are being created: low-end retail, food preparation, etc. So just because a job is high growth or “in demand” does not make it a great job or the best long term choice.

• Technology, environmental concerns, and automation are changing the way we consume energy, handle paper, and our productivity (how many people it takes to make a widget). Whole occupations are disappearing (stock clerks) while new ones are created (networks system analyst).

• A greater proportion of the population is getting older and our skilled health care needs are rising.

• Law enforcement and security jobs are increasing in a post 9/11 world. And the industries that support them are expanding (weapons, specialized clothing).

• How money is made in publishing and entertainment industries is driving big changes in many Artistic and Enterprising careers. Journalists, publicists, singers and actors are just a few occupations in a state of rapid change.

What does this all mean for you as you consider your career options? Take a look at the Career Key work groups and careers that interest you the most and then check our cheat sheet over the next 6 posts. Note to Canadians: where Canada differs, I’ll bring it up. And please email your feedback – I welcome it.

Helpful Links to Job Outlook Data
In the U.S.
Tomorrow’s Jobs, Occupational Outlook Handbook
O*Net OnLine’s List of InDemand Careers, in order of highest to lowest growth, with links to more information about each occupation. You can even download and save it as a MS Excel spreadsheet or a CSV file (for anyone without MSOffice).
“Learn More About Occupations” article at the Career Key website

In Canada:
Job Futures’ list of occupations with the best job outlook in 2009
Labour Market Information by occupation and your province/territory
Industry Profiles by geographic area that includes employment prospects
“Learn More About Occupations” article at the Career Key Canada website.

This blog post was graciously submitted to BizzyWomen by The Career Key Blog, run by Juliet Wehr Jones, J.D.  The Career Key™ gives you expert help with your career search and career choices  career change, career planning, job skills, and choosing a college major. Our career assessment helps you find a career by matching your personality with careers and providing you complete and accurate information about each career you choose to explore.

Below is a recent post I wrote for Brand Yourself about building and maintaining a professional online image.

Go to BrandYourself.com to check out great blog posts about personal branding.

8 Tips to Building and Maintaining a Professional Online Image

Maintaining a professional online image is a very important aspect of your career. Through a simple online search, an employer or client can find out what you like to do, how you blog and tweet and see the overall professional online image you portray of yourself.

Here’s advice and eight tips on maintaining your image as a professional online:

First of all, how often do you update your Facebook status? More importantly, how do your updates reflect your professional online image? The status “At the bar getting trashed tonight” does not sounds professional. Neither does the wall post from your friend talking about that last party.

Tip No. 1: Don’t use your status updates to share information about the actions an employer doesn’t need to know about, censor your wall posts and patrol the posts written by others on your own wall.

The photos you post also can impact how people perceive your online professional image. Although it won’t hurt your image if you have photos showing you outside of the professional setting, it will hurt you if your photos display you in a way an employer may see as inappropriate. Even if you don’t post unprofessional photos of yourself, your friends could still tag you in photos without considering how it could affect your image. Depending on your career goals, the type of photos considered appropriate will vary.

Tip No. 2: Never post pictures of yourself at a bar, party or other situation that may be inappropriate and inform your friends to ask for permission before tagging you in a photo.

Facebook users concerned with maintaining a professional online image also should be cautious about joining groups and fan pages. Groups such as “Party Girls” do not portray professionalism. The various applications on Facebook, such as quizzes and games, also can affect your image.

Tip No. 3: Try to avoid joining groups, fan pages and applications that are not relevant to your field. If you decide to join an irrelevant group, be sure it is about a topic you would be willing to discuss with a company CEO and your grandmother.

Setting your profile to private is one way to avoid professional online image issues. But, people often accept friends who they do not know well. Additionally, a potential employer may go through a mutual friend to see your profile.

Tip No. 4: Even with strict privacy settings, it is still possible for other people to get access to your Facebook account. Always be insistent on maintaining a professional online image,  even if your profile is set to private.

Your tweets and the conversations you join are a reflection of your professional online image. If you do not have your tweets set to private, watch what you tweet.

Tip No. 5: Build a professional online image by sharing ideas and information and adding knowledge to the community. Write relevant and useful tweets.

One of the social networks used less often by young professionals is LinkedIn. But, LinkedIn can help build credibility in a person’s professional online image. You should go beyond simply filling out a profile and take full advantage of the site’s features.

Tip No. 6: Request recommendations, join groups and answer questions of other users after creating your LinkedIn profile.

Participating in the blogosphere also can help build a professional online image. Blogging displays leadership and knowledge in your given field. As a blogger, you also should contribute to the community by commenting on other blogs. If you wish to be seen as a professional, you should not write about personal matters on your blog.

Tip No. 7: Strategically write blog posts that will showcase your skills and knowledge and comment on other industry-related blogs.

A personal Web site or online portfolio is a great tool to help build a professional online image. Not only does it show that you are serious about your career, but you also can include materials to promote your personal brand, such as recommendations and work examples.

Tip. No. 8: Create a clean, well-designed Web site focused on promoting your personal brand in your field to help build your image.

Professional online images take time to create and build. By following these eight tips, you can help build a positive and credible online image that can help advance your career.

Rachel M. Esterline works as an account executive for Central Michigan Life, the nationally award-winning school newspaper at Central Michigan University. She is as an account executive for PR Central, CMU’s student-run public relations firm and as a public relations executive with the Student Government Association. Additionally, Rachel serves on the executive board of the Public Relations Student Society of America at CMU and has completed a seven-month internship with her university’s public relations and marketing department. Rachel will graduate in May 2010 with a degree in public relations with minors in journalism and communication.