In catching up on recent entries, I discovered an assessment tool called the “Wheel of Life.”

“This assessment contains 9 areas that, together, represent one way of describing a whole life. This exercise measures your level of satisfaction and range of expression in these areas as a snapshot in time. As you work through the assessment you will find areas where you can acknowledge yourself on the success you have created and areas where you may want to improve your level of satisfaction. We will have some suggestions and coach-like pointers at the end, along with your completed wheel of life. Rank each statement on a scale from 1 (Highly Disagree) to 10 (Highly Agree) by dragging the sliders along the scale.”

I must admit that I firmly believe that I have a good life, so I thought that taking this assessment would be a breeze and that I would have a fairly smooth wheel. Ha! Check it out:

Not smooth at all. Now, the big question is: how do I smooth it out? What do I need to do to have a comfortable ride now and in the future?

Well, before I beat myself up about this, first I want to mention that my strongest areas are: Personal Growth; Health & Well-Being; and Love/Romance. That’s good! I’m really happy to know that I feel so positive about those areas.

Areas that could use improvement are: Money & Finances; Physical Environment; and Friendships. Here are my thoughts on improving those areas in the New year:

Money & Finances: we completed two cross-country moves in 2007 (including home buying and selling), which has had a lingering affect on our financial stability. I had expected that we would be solid again by now, but I think that it will take another year before we can get back to where we were before. Meanwhile, I have instituted a monthly check-in so that my husband and I can review our finances together. This is significant, as for the past 13 years I have handled most of our joint finances independently.

Physical Environment: I was surprised at how low this was, but perhaps it’s because I”m sitting at a messy desk! Having a small child makes our environment naturally a little messy, but I am going to focus on managing the mess in a way that allows me to still feel calm and happy in all rooms of our home.

Friendships: The truth is, my deepest friendships are within my family. This isn’t really a bad thing, but I recognize that it would be good to diversify a little bit and stretch myself to devote more time and energy to other relationships. The challenge, of course, is that I simply don’t have a lot of time or energy at the end of each day, and what I do have is dedicated to my husband and daughter. I have been thinking about this for several months though, and although I don’t think I can come up with a “solution,” hopefully I will at least get some ideas.

I highly recommend taking the assessment - it’s fun and enlightening! Let me know what you find out!

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Bumpy Ride

Peter presents Why Self Awareness is Fundamental to Personal Growth (& How to Cultivate It) posted at The Change Blog. “The more doors we open the more doors we discover there are to be opened. Self awareness is the very beginning of personal development. It may very well be the ultimate end.”

Stephen says, “Hi Chandra, There are many tools out there that will help you get the most out of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is always working and running in the background - whether you use the tools or not. The fastest way that I know to manifest with the Law of Attraction is to use the ‘Appreciation Sob’. It has produced miracles for me out of thin air and it puts the Law of Attraction into over drive. See the article to learn more.”

Stephen Martile presents Accelerating the Law of Attraction (Appreciation Sob) posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen Martile.

Surfer Sam says, “Do you truly know yourself? Do you like the person you see? Would you like to become a better person? Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself. It is your sense of personal worth, along with your confidence and your respect for yourself. You have hopes and dreams for yourself, but you don’t know how to reach them. There is a gap between wanting and having, a gap between desiring and realizing your desires. Take heart. You can make changes in your own life, real and lasting changes.”

Surfer Sam presents Building Self Esteem. Skills for Self Improvement and Self Help ! Surfer Sam posted at Surfer Sam and Friends.

MBB presents How To Become A Self Made Millionaire posted at Money Blue Book.   The Process Of Becoming A Millionaire Is Not A Get Rich Quick Scheme, But A Patient and Systematic Approach To Earning, Saving, and Investing Money.

Zhenren presents What is your motivation? posted at Seeing. Knowing. Doing.  He says, ” When your motives first formed, you were a different person, in different circumstances. Recognise this, and you may find that your motive evaporates in the light of your awareness.”

Kelly Turner presents Appetites: Why We Supress Them and Why We Should Stop posted at Grounded Fitness.  Kelly says,  “Women have so many more opportunites than we did 100 years ago. We can vote, go to college, hold jobs- more doors are open to us than ever before. We are equal; we are entitled; we are human. Why do we continue to be ashamed of and supress our most human desires?”

Jeff presents Core advice lasting you a lifetime posted at Gobs Health.     “Here is an article on a book I have high esteem for. It’s a summary of core principles created by Dale Carnegie and my reaction on how they can improve relationships with almost anyone.”  

Chris Edgar says, “Many of us, rationally or otherwise, get nervous in social situations because we worry that others are going to verbally attack us and we’ll be unable to “defend” ourselves.   How do we overcome this fear and regain a sense of composure in our interactions? In this article, I describe three approaches I’ve used myself and in working with others.” 

Chris Edgar presents Calling A Truce In The “War Of Words” posted at Purpose Power Coaching.

Mike Salara presents HOW TO MAKE PATIENCE WORK FOR YOU posted at Mike Salara.

Pearl mattenson presents What do you think of me? chameleon qualities - strengths - handwriting | Carrie and Danielle posted at Carrie and Danielle.     Pearl says, “I believe we are infinitely complex and there is no end to the ways in which we can surprise ourselves.”

Louis Burns presents Crafting Mental Movies For Others posted at NLP Marketing Blog.  This article is about not only visualizing your own goals but the experience you want other people to have as well.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

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A for Authenticity Blog Roundup

Although Boxing Day may sound like a good opportunity to throw an uppercut at an unsuspecting person, it has nothing to do with gloves or punching bags.  However, I can think of a few people that deserve a few sucker-punches. 

With my DH being a transplant from Scotland, we’ve attempted to capture the true essence of this British holiday and have adopted some of the Boxing Day traditions into our holiday season.   

Carb loading typically begins our Boxing Day festivities.  Each Boxing Day, Allan prepares a big cooked English breakfast, which includes scrambled eggs, sausage, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, bacon (the American kind unfortunately), Heinz baked beans, warm buttered toast and chunky sautéed potatoes doused in malt vinegar.  A traditional, “sweaty” breakfast (as Allan calls it) is absolutely necessary to offer the fuel required for the rest of our Boxing Day festivities. 

To honor this British holiday, I provide each of my girls with a box to fill with items to give to the needy.  With all the excitement over all their new Christmas toys and clothes, they are usually more willing to part with their old belongings.  As they carry their box from room to room, they gather old toys and clothes. 

On occasion, new items are added to their boxes as well.  Every Christmas, my girls receive a mountain of gifts from family members and some of these gifts remain sealed in cellophane only to suffer the same fate as the inhabitants of the Island of Misfit Toys.  Therefore, over the years, we’ve taught our girls to share their extra gifts with children less fortunate.  Children in homeless shelters still long for gifts after Christmas and our excessiveness could help make a needy child’s birthday a happier one. 

In addition to toys and clothes, I also weed through my cupboards and pantries to find items to help restock a food bank.  We often think of food banks during the holidays, but their need continues through the year. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, homeless shelters have seen an increasing number of families in need this year.  Yet, donations to charitable organizations in the Tampa Bay area were down nearly 50% this holiday season. 

If you choose to shop today, please remember those in need while you hunt for bargains and join us in celebrating Boxing Day the way it was originally intended.

As we assembled our boxes for a photo to record our Boxing Day observation for my blog, I heard a slight jingling sound coming from Allana’s box.  This year Allana decided to add a coin purse full of 30 pennies, a 20 pence coin and a 5 pence coin, because she wanted to give money to the needy as well as food, clothing and toys.  Though I was deeply moved by Allana’s generosity, it struck me funny to discover a touch of Britain in our American version of Boxing Day.

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Boxing Day

The world around us is changing. Maybe we have been a stay-at-home mom and now we’re facing the prospect of working out in the work force. We’re used to play dates at the park and McDonald’s luncheons. Our old t-shirt and comfortable jeans won’t cut it anymore. We’re already feeling overwhelmed as it is - I mean, maybe our only professional references have long since died or we can’t even remember their names. We’ve been changing diapers or shuttling kids to soccer practices for the last decade - and now we must change our tune.

One of the first things we may think of is our budget. How are we supposed to dress for success if we’re going back to work because we need more money? Clothes cost money. And nice clothes, even fashionable clothing, costs even more money. We may have to dip into our pockets for the essentials in women’s clothing, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Let’s go over some basics that we should have in our closets - these basics should cover the gamut: from casual to work to evening wear.

• A button down white shirt. This can be flattering to your figure if you choose a style that has darts for shaping. It’s also versatile - can be worn under a suit, or with a pair of jeans as an outer layer with a stylish camisole underneath, or even buttoned up with a skirt.
• A simple skirt. Choose between a pencil skirt or an A-line skirt. If the pencil is too hip-hugging - an A-line skirt may be perfect for the curvier woman.
• A suit. This could be essential if you’re searching for a job. Look for a three-piece suit: jacket, skirt and pant. This way you’ll get the most out of your money. The jacket can be worn with a pair of jeans for a more casual day, or over a dress. The pants can be worn with a variety of different tops. And the skirt can double up as the ’simple skirt’ essential listed above. The various combinations of outfits can be accentuated with different styles of shoes.
• Jeans. Maybe your work, or the interviewing process doesn’t allow for jeans, but every woman needs a good pair of jeans. Buy jeans with a dark wash for better matching, and jeans that are long enough if you want the versatility of wearing heels for a dressier look. Choose the boot-cut or slim cut - whatever suits your figure best. Jeans can be dressed down or up; wear with a silk blouse or even a simple t-shirt.
• Black dress. This is a must. You can dress this up or down. Choose one with a hemline that’s flattering to your body shape. In the summer, wear with a pretty pair of sandals. In the winter, pair with a blazer and boots. And for an elegant evening out, complement it with a pair of fashionable high heels.
• The layers. This is where you add the color and the variety. Stock up on t-shirts and camisoles, chunky beads, belts and bags.
• A wool coat. A classic wool coat can take you through years of changing fashion — just mix it up with trendy accessories; a large wrap scarf, hat etc.
• Sunglasses. Everyone needs a pair of these — to protect our eyes and for fun. There are so many styles out there that can complement every face shape.

So now we have an idea what we need to make an easy and ever-changing wardrobe, but still, money is tight. Let’s go over a couple of ways we can find these basics at a nominal price.

• Clothing swap. Make a party out of it. Have your friends bring gently used clothing and let everyone choose among the items. This way you can get rid of the old, and bring in some ‘new.’
• Online retailers. Online shopping or internet stores save us money by not actually running a physical store, so good deals can be found. Do some comparison shopping from the comfort of your own home.

Make a plan, purge your wardrobe, have a clothing swap, and then bargain shop for those essentials via the internet or wholesale clothing. Our own personal style may change as we age and it’s always rejuvenating to rid ourselves of our clothing clutter and really scrutinize what we need. Let’s remember to always be authentic to our own health and beauty and develop our own style which enhances our body type and shape.

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Women’s Clothing - Dress For Success on a Budget

An inevitable result of our constant rushing around in celebration of the season is that I am not able to follow my usual fitness routine. Luckily, my wellness coach, Nora, suggested that I write into my calendar “Life Will Be Normal Again” on Monday, Dec. 29. Having this firm date in my mind allows me to go easy on myself when I just can’t squeeze in the exercise that I know I need.

This week we have a different family member coming over each night to light the candles, and next weekend will be our big family Christmas, as my brothers will be with their wives’ families on the 25th. My goal is to simply do the best that I can in regards to exercise and eating, constantly reminding myself that life will be normal again next week.

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Life Will Be Normal Again

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In a recession, should you settle?

Everyone needs and has a right to positive self-esteem. Genuine self-esteem is not based in appearance. Genuine self-esteem has nothing to do with color of hair, eyes or skin. It has nothing to do with the size of any body parts. Nor does it have anything to do with how we are put together physically.

Genuine positive self-esteem comes from the inside and begins when we are infants. It begins to grow from how well we are valued as infants, toddlers and children. As we grow up and begin to go out into the world we meet other people, many of whom have not been loved and valued well enough by their parents or caretakers. Those people may try to de-value us according to our appearance. This is immature, unhealthy thinking. That is when parents/caregivers can help children continue to build healthy internal self-esteem by teaching them how to ignore that type of thinking.

Attraction is based on appearance. However, attraction is short lived and has little to do with love. Love takes work and involves respecting the other person. A person cannot love and respect another unless she/he loves and respects him/her self. Being able to love and respect yourself involves the building of genuine self-esteem from infancy on up through adulthood, from the inside out. People are much more attractive when they have genuine positive self-esteem. Inner directed positive self-esteem results in individuals being more relaxed.

Unfortunately, the commercial aspect of society has (unwisely) taken advantage of low self-esteem by trying to sell the idea that if a person looks a certain way their lives will be better. Rarely does this come true. This type of thinking has been part of the problem for many years. Recently, I have noticed a change occurring, a maturation of thinking in commercial society. I see more and more people in advertisements and on TV shows whose appearance is what might be called “average”. I find this to be encouraging.

People with genuine positive self-esteem can resist the pressure from others to “fix” their appearance. Those with high self-esteem know that their appearance is good enough. People with high self-esteem base their self esteem on who they are, rather than how they look.

Changing our physical appearance does not change how we think or feel. Changing our physical appearance will not prevent the aging process. Enlarged breasts will fall, the body does get old, change is the only constant in life. And we have a right and need to feel good about ourselves even when we are a hundred years old and laden with wrinkles.

Raising self-esteem involves mental and emotional work. Although I call this work, it is very pleasant to work to do, because feeling better about ourselves, simply feels good.

Anne is a Board Certified Registered art therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor. Anne has been studying human development and relationships for over 45 years. She has been successfully working with families, in various capacities, for over 20 years. Her private practice is in the Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia PA. She specializes in helping people recover from various types of trauma, difficult changes and loss. Anne has an unusual ability to connect with children and adolescents, along with their parents. Parenting is the most important job we ever do, yet no one shows us how to do it or gives us the support we need. Anne has successfully coached many parents through a variety of critical stages in their children’s lives. Annes greatest joy is helping people understand themselves and each other. http://www.annescreativetherapy.com

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Genuine Self Esteem is Not Based on Appearance

• Humans have a “biological readiness” to fall asleep in the mid-afternoon
• An afternoon nap as short as 10 minutes can improve alertness, mood and mental performance
• Afternoon naps are especially beneficial in sleep-deprived individuals
• In many cultures, an afternoon nap is an expected part of the everyday schedule

Thus, I conclude that my afternoon nap (when I get it) is not laziness, but a necessary and beneficial part of living a high-performance lifestyle.

NOTE: in researching this article, I should mention that I learned that naps should be limited to 45 minutes and avoided after 4:00 p.m. to avoid grogginess and negatively impact evening sleep.

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Benefits of Napping

If you cannot feel your life, but think about it instead - you will always be one step away from the action, rather than being the action.  Ask yourself, “Am I open or am I closed?”

Being open means you are willing to feel your feelings even though some of them may be painful.  That does not mean that you do not look at your behavior, but rather you do not want to keep making the same mistakes and end up closing down. When you are open, you feel the feelings and they pass on through.  Remember you have only one heart; it’s either open or closed.  When you close it to hurt you also close it to love. It’s all energy and it’s all moving.  EVERYTHING passes, nothing stays.   Open to life and automatically be open to love.

Ask yourself - Do I feel hard or do I feel soft?  Am I open or closed?

If you like what you’ve read, you’re invited right now to join the thousands who receive Chandra’s FREE daily email “Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH” for a daily dose of clarity and truth.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

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Open or closed?

 There is nothing more important than being able to enjoy your own company.  If you do not enjoy your own company you will never feel loveable.  And you need to feel loveable, whether or not you are in a relationship.

Being okay about being alone is okay - being closed to a relationship is not.  When you are closed to relationship, you have convinced yourself there are no good men out there.  But there are good men out there just like there are good women and sometimes we find each other and sometimes we don’t.  And there are many “gentlemen” still out there.  We teach men how to treat us.  If we want our men to be strong, we must be willing to touch our softness.  It is the polarity that creates the chemistry.

Yes, the dating world is fraught with perils, but so is life.  You need discrimination - razor sharp.  But mostly, you need to be open, open to life and whatever it has to offer.  If that is friends, and museums and a glass of wine (no book clubs), that’s terrific, and if it’s a night alone enjoying your own company - even better.

The world is what you make it.  It is not a couple’s world anymore than it belongs to you.  Claim it.  Do not let anyone else define you.  The relationship you have with yourself is the one that makes all the others tick.

If you like what you’ve read, you’re invited right now to join the thousands who receive Chandra’s FREE daily email “Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH” for a daily dose of clarity and truth.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

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Nothing Like Your Own Company

It doesn’t have to be that way!

Here are 3 Ways to Build a Business that doesn’t Suck You Dry:

1. Know what you want: what lifestyle are you looking for? Are you single and willing to work 24-7? Are you married with children and only have a limited amount of time and energy available? Build your business according to the lifestyle you want first. Nothing else matters as much as this!
2. Know what you need: how much money do you need to make? Take a hard look at the market or industry that you are considering, and make sure that it will be able to afford you the income that you desire based on the answer to Question No. 1
3. Get help: hire people to help you strategically based on what you don’t like to do. Try to avoid the perfectionist trap of not being able to let go of all the tasks because you don’t think that anyone can do them as well as you can. In order to achieve your answer to Question No. 1, you simply must figure out how to get and accept help.

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3 Ways to Build a Business That Doesn’t Suck You Dry

The most important take-away from this book, and what has been most helpful to me, is that most entrepreneurs do not create systems for their businesses. Rather, we just kind of wake up each morning and put out fires as needed throughout the day.

While this works for a while, it can’t help but get exhausting for us. Worse, when we consider when and how to hire someone to help us to put out the fires, we have no idea where to begin because we really don’t know exactly what we do each day.

The concept of putting together operational systems, even (perhaps especially!) for a solo-preneur who doesn’t have anyone working for her, is really breakthrough for me and for most entrepreneurs who I know, as it helps us manage our fires more effectively and, more importantly, allows us to hire a team of people who can help us avoid them altogether.

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4 Hour Work Week?

Back-to-back meetings were totally do-able (and didn’t require a second thought!) before my daughter was born. In the past three years, however, although it is possible for me to make it through a fully-booked day, it can be really dangerous for my physical and mental health.

I end up feeling depleted, have almost nothing left to give to my family in the evening, and there is definitely no room for self-care. Without the energy to bolster myself, this depletion extends into the following work day, making the cycle come full-circle and thus impact both my personal and my professional lives.

Today I didn’t realize that I had (once again) booked myself in back-to-back intensive meetings until I was halfway through them. Luckily, I was able to squeeze in 15 minutes between my mid-day and afternoon meetings to breathe deeply and realize what I had done. Then, as soon as my afternoon meeting was complete, I went home, took a bath, and sat on the couch daydreaming for 30 minutes before diving into the piles of paperwork that accumulate after a day of meetings.

Based on these actions, I was able to get a lot of work done in the hour between my daydreams and the excited “MOMMY!” that came from downstairs when my daughter came home. I was able to leave my desk and greet her and my husband with joy and excitement and even, yes, a little bit of energy.

Is this balance? I’m not sure, but it definitely feels better than trying to be Superwoman!

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I Am Not Superwoman

Over the years, I have learned to stay clear of overly cheery Black Friday freaks fans.  These ladies wear their merriest holiday ensemble.  You will hear their jingle bells as they run you over with their cart to grab the last Wii bundle.  

This year, I spotted a herd of ladies dressed like Christmas cheerleaders.  They wore red holiday tees bedazzled with “Shine” in sparkly letters across the front.  They completed the look with shimmer red and green headbands that looked an elf exploded on their heads.  Although the outfits were a riot, I found their conversation even more comical.  In true Target Lady fashion, they made comments about every little item as they shopped. 

“Well, isn’t this lovely?”  

“Have you ever seen anything so cute in your life?” 

“And you can’t beat the price!” 

This holiday version of the Target Lady made it worth getting up at 6:00 a.m. to shop.

In past years, I would find myself waking up at 3:30 a.m. to begin a marathon day of shopping.  Around 8:00 a.m., my girlfriends would make a pit stop at my house to refuel with a hot cooked breakfast prepared by my DH.  Then, my family and I would head out for round two of crazed crowds in shopping malls. 

But this year, my DH needed to work on Black Friday and so my mall shlepping would be trimmed.  

After Wal-Mart, I continued my holiday spending spree with some on-line shopping.  That’s when I found my moment of Zen.  With no screaming, fighting or crying children begging me to buy every fuzzy and shiny object, I shopped at 6 different stores all at the same time.  My children happily played while I loaded my shopping carts.  It was fabulous.  

For this Black Friday, I saved my sanity as well as a few dollars. 

But then, this morning on the news, I heard about a relatively new retail phenomenon: Cyber Monday.  WHAT?!  More rock bottom prices?!  Once again, I shopped till my eyelids dropped searching for bargains and all from the comfort of my ass home.  I have a new love.  

Move over, Black Friday!  Cyber Monday is serving up deals with no lines and no waiting!

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Black Friday or Bust!

1. Eating only as many calories as your body needs, so that you do not end up storing excess calories as body fat.   Evolution has made us masters at storing up the extra food that we ingest beyond what we need so that we won’t starve to death.  Great for the survival of the species…not so great for bathing suit season ;-).
2. Engaging in regular “metabolic training” (3-5 times per week).  Metabolic training is the Y2K term for what we use to refer to as “cardio”.  The difference is that there is now a lot more evidence to suggest that it is important to also include interval training in your program to  challenge not only the “aerobic system” but also the “anaerobic systems” (active when you are working out at a pace you can’t maintain for very long).  When you interval train you alternate between easier “active rest” periods and harder “work” intervals.  This trains the entire spectrum of your energy systems so you become more fit — it also helps you burn the maximum amount of calories in the minimum amount of time.
3. Doing regular resistance training (2-3 times per week) so that you can increase (and maintain) lean body tissue.  Lifting “light weights” won’t do it.  If they are “light” for you, your body won’t have to get stronger to move the weight.   People with good muscle tone have a reduce appearance (and presence for that matter) of cellulite, their bodies look more toned and it is easier for them to maintain their weight because muscle tissue is more metabolically active.

Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS is an exercise physiologist, certified personal trainer and the creator of The Best Me Ever, a comprehensive weight loss and wellness system just for women

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3 Fat Loss Secrets

Here are some organizing tips on how to prepare to wrap gifts any time of the year:

*Gather the paper, ribbon, bows, special embellishments, tags, scissors,pen and tape. Now having them all in one place it should be easy to just sit and wrap, but it isn’t so. At least not with me. I can sit or stand in the very same place and I either lose the tape or the scissors or both. This year I came up with a brilliant idea to stop them from taking off so I have to search for them.

*Put the tape and scissors, pen and tags in a little container. After using them put them back in the container—every single time. This has worked like a charm. The container (I used a little basket) is taller than the wrapping paper so it doesn’t get lost. This has saved me time and frustration!

What tricks do you have up your sleeve to keep track of things when you are wrapping gifts?

Marilyn Bohn is an energetic, lively, compassionate, hard working and creative organizer. She was born to organize! Before becoming a professional organizer she worked professionally in diverse environments. She is involved in her community, providing her clients with a broad base of experience and knowledge.  She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO).

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Two Organizing Tips To Wrap Presents

This past weekend, my family and I went to my nephew’s 2^nd birthday party.  An old friend of my SIL’s also attended the party.  She has been training for triathlons some time and I was excited to pick her brain about our shared interest in the sport. 

I proudly told her about my latest endeavors and she snidely remarks, “Those aren’t real triathlons.  If you aren’t swimming 2 miles and feel like you are going to die, then you’ve not done a real tri.” 

Talk about crushing someone’s spirit!  That’s like telling someone who runs 5K, “You’re not a real runner unless you run a marathon.” 

Even in my shock, I scripted a pretty decent rebuttal.  “I believe a triathlon is defined by completing 3 physical activities: swim, bike and run.  If we went around the room and polled everyone, I think you would find everyone’s response to include those three things.  And, yes, technically it is only a sprint, but it feels like a REAL triathlon to me.  And despite what you may think, I do feel like I am going to die during and after, but I love it!  It’s not about the distance for me, but the challenge and trying to compete against my own time.” 

With a stunned expression, she replied “Well, I compete against myself as well, but I don’t event like triathlons.” 

“Then, why do you even do them?” 

“I do them because my friends convinced me to do it, but I don’t like them.” 

“So, you caved to peer pressure?  Interesting.” 

The longer I spoke with her, the more my blood began to boil.  I realize I am no Hollie Kenney, but I do best and I am damn proud of what I do!  The other athletes I have met at the various races have been so supportive and encouraging.  My friends and family applaud my achievements and in turn, I celebrate their hard-work too.  Where did this chick come off? 

To avoid an ugly scene turning even uglier, I took a few deep cleansing breaths and escaped to the patio to discuss politics with my BIL.  Discussing Obama over a beer would make me feel better.

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Why Even Tri?

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A few weeks ago, I was driving home from a workout at the gym…by myself…which is rare. I was enjoying a strawberries and creme Frappuccino and listening to 70s music on satellite radio; Boston, Sweet, LedZeppelin, Aerosmith, Rufus and many more. It was a great ride.

“My favorite “me time” is when I grab my camera and head outdoors to take photos of the surrounding landscape. Just being able to step back from life for a few moments and really appreciate the beauty all around is very soothing to me. I also like to indulge myself with a good romance novel that has a humorous twist to it and listen to 80’s music.”
–Julie Northrop, FreeBirthdayTreats.com, www.freebirthdaytreats.com

“Me time for me (during the winter months) is getting on my snowmobile and riding! I live just off the trails and love to jump on and go! I actually don’t even mind taking the kids, but I ride differently without them. It’s more of a leisurely ride when the kids are with us. But when they’re not, it’s more of a workout and challenging!”
–Michelle Pratt-Lienhart, Just Be Products LLC, www.jb-justbe.com/

“Every Sunday night, after I put my daughter to bed, I meet up with a girl friend to work-out. Sometimes we head over to the fitness center; sometimes we go for a jog. It’s a great way to start the week. I also spend about 20 minutes before bed reading a magazine or book.”

“After the birth of my second child, the most significant time I have for myself happens when I am reading. Breastfeeding lends itself to reading. You have one story that you can pick up and have that intellectual stimulation or escape that mothers need when most free time is spent with little ones. Watching a movie, TV, etc. is too frustrating because your private time is so fragmented with little ones.”
–Kate Dodson Strain, Belzer PC, www.belzerlaw.com/

“Me time for me is either spent having a pedicure with friends or grabbing a latte at Barnes & Nobel and sitting down to read a magazine for a few minutes of quiet time.”
–Jodi Van Lom, Playgroups USA, www.playgroupsusa.com/

“I love to be outside and enjoy the day (when it’s sunny and perfect weather, that is!) I love a good brisk walk while listening to my iPod. U2 always puts me in a GREAT mood…”
–Jessica Lewis, ToLiveBeautiful.com, www.tolivebeautiful.com/

“When I get some time to myself, I usually always try to fit a work out in. Even if it is 20 minutes at the gym, with no interruptions, it is great! The other favorite thing I do on my ‘me time’ is watch a favorite show that I have tivo’ed. At night when the house is quiet, if I have finished pending work items, I pour a glass a wine and catch up with Oprah, Dancing with the Stars, or Lost.”
–Jennifer Manriquez, The Bilingual Fun Co. LLC, www.bilingualfun.com/

“I find that if I really want true ‘me time’, I can’t be at home. If I’m home I’m in ‘mommy-mode’, and there will be no me time. So as often as I’m able, I take my 3rd baby (aka macbook) and head to Starbucks. I do my work, but it’s in a relaxed environment with no distractions (and a nice caramel macchiato). Does it count if I am working? The other thing I do is…shop! After the kids are in bed I sometimes head out to window shop. Often when I’ve been out on the town with the kids, I’ll see something I want to inspect closer, but of course can’t, because my son is generally screaming or whining. So, at night I can head back to the mall or the store and look at stuff in peace.”
–Holly Klaassen, Her SEO, www.HerSEO.com

“For me time, I read. I love a good novel. Being that I am on the road a lot, I look for opportunities to read. I will go to a local park, sit under a tree and read for 20 minutes or so. It really clears my head.”

“We have a set “siesta” time each day, the kids don’t have to nap, but it’s chill/alone time for all of us for at least an hour every day. I’ll take this time to catch up on emails/connections with friends, to watch the news, etc. A lot of time, I’ll do some of the writing or designing aspects of the job because I truly enjoy this. I also get up and out and walk the dogs every morning before the hustle and bustle of the day. Meditating is another big one for me. The bookstore is another way I enjoy alone time - skimming magazines, looking at which cool notebook I want next, what new novels are out.”

How do you spend your “me-time”?

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How do mom entrepreneurs spend “me-time”?

Often mothers are expected or encouraged to go back to work as soon as the baby is old enough to be left with a babysitter or daycare. Some companies only allow six weeks of maternity leave, and that means you have, at the most, six weeks with your newborn child. Many mothers are rebelling against that old expectation and are working at home instead.

Being a work at home mom means you have more time for your family. If your child gets sick, you don’t have to take time off work and juggle appointments to take them to the doctor – you are home already, so you can do whatever your chosen business is, all the while holding your sick child close to you. If you need to make a run to the doctor, no problem! You set your own hours when you work at home, so you can shuffle your schedule to keep your child the priority.

Setting your own schedule can be a wonderful thing, as long as you’re organized enough to make it work! Being a work at home mom is not as easy as others might think it is. You have to be your own secretary, manager and accountant. You are handling not only the duties of a full-time parent, but also those of a full-time business owner. That’s a heavy load to carry!

But it’s worth it when you take a break from the work you love and look down to see your lovely little child smiling up at you, happy and content in the knowledge that you are there for them, all the time, no matter what. That’s a feeling that makes all the hard work seem easy, and makes you thankful that you took the steps to become a work at home mom.

Denise Bergeron

The goal of SingleMomFinancialHelp.com is to help women change the world through information and education. We are creating a support structure through which all women of the world can educate one another about where they have been, where they are right now and where they are going. With help from our site and the information and articles we distribute women will be more educated in finance, business, home matters, relationships, career and higher education.

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Moms Work From Home With Benefits