As women all too often we try to do a million things at once — and then we suddenly wake up to the unpleasant reality that this just isn’t possible.  You’re only human — and capable as you may be, you can only take on so much.  So in the spirit of digging out from under, here are some tips for dealing with overwhelm.

• Identify: A big part of feeling overwhelmed is not knowing where to start.  Try to pick three areas of your life: personal, relationship and career/professional and write down ALL the nagging things (both big and small) that are rippling under the surface and effecting your peace of mind.  This “brain dump” alone can be useful in that it shows you what you really need to deal with so that it’s not as  Getting Things Done author, David Allen so aptly terms it, “a nebulous mass of undo-ability“
• Prioritize: Once you identify the items in each category, rank them on a scale of 1 to 5.  1 being very important, 5 being very trivial. 
• Decide: Of all the #1 items on your to-do list decide: 1) which are the ones that are the most important to you in terms of life goals, values, passions and 2) which tasks/projects once accomplished will give you the most bang for your proverbial buck.
• Act:  Break your top 3 most important tasks into 3 actionable subtasks and decide what is the next “actionable” step that you could take towards its attainment.  Many times we feel overwhelmed because we see a mountain and think we are supposed to leap over it…we forget that it is a process and that it is made up of lots of smaller tasks which are victories in themselves.  So “clean out attic” (something I just did a few weeks ago) becomes “call carting service to rent dumpster” and “buy plastic organizers“, etc.
• Assign:  Tim Ferris, in his worthwhile (if a wee bit optimistic) book, The Four-Hour Work Week talks a lot about the importance of farming out tasks that you do not need to do.  He is a big proponent of leveraging high school and college students — even virtual assistants overseas to handle mundane tasks that can be real time-wasters
• Just Say “No”: Too many people (women, in particular) are uncomfortable with saying “no”.  I’m not always great at it myself….but I’m getting better.  I think a reasonable way to avoid getting committed to projects you’d just as soon leave alone, is to buy yourself sometime and never answer on the fly, if possible.  You can save yourself a great deal of kicking yourself afterward by going with something like, “I really can’t commit to that right now because I have a lot going on and always want to an excellent job on whatever I commit to.  I’m going to look at my calendar and commitments and get back to you”.  Then afterward do some soul searching and make sure that you are doing something that you want to do or feel is important to do.
• 6 A Day:  The legend is that Charles Schwab paid a friend $25,000 for this idea because it radically improved the effectiveness of his organization.  Pick 6 (no more, no less) of your high-priority, next actionable step tasks and do them each work day.  Where will you get the most traction on the things that matter to you most?  Whether it is having a better relationship with your kid — or getting  that new client.
• Let Go:  Overwhelm is often a product of staying on the treadmill of success for a long time and not realizing that you need at least one (preferably two) days off per week.   Stephen Covey author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People calls this “sharpening the saw”.  The joke is that this guy is trying to saw this tree with a dull saw.  He’s sweating, straining, not being very effective.  So another guy says, “Hey, why not take a break and sharpen that saw?”.  To which the first gentleman replies incredulously, “Can’t you see I’m trying to cut down this tree?!!“.  In other words, if your mental “blades” are dull and rusty you can’t be very effective.

Just some thoughts to get this thing rolling in the spirit of  “Hey, I’m doing the best I can.  Doing pretty darn good — and trying to get a little better every day“.  I hope you find some of these tips helpful in reducing your stress load. 

Now if you’ll excuse me…I need to go and remind myself of what I just wrote .

  Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS is an exercise physiologist, certified personal trainer, author of Fit + Female:  The Complete Fitness and Nutrition Game Plan for Your Unique Body Type and the creator of The Best Me Ever, a comprehensive weight loss and wellness system just for women.  It’s a first of its kind program designed to fit into a busy women’s life.  Lose weight and look great — 90 Day Unconditional Money Back Guarantee!!

Many mom entrepreneurs struggle with this question daily. Of course we know family comes first, but it is not always easy to make sure your significant other and children know that.

• I moved my office back home and took my son out of daycare.
• I no longer travel.
• I am very particular about the clients I work with – I take the time to learn more about them as a person – will my “family first” motto fit with their beliefs?
• I changed my work week to Monday – Thursday and spend Fridays with my youngest son who is not yet in school.
• I changed the message on my voice mail to say that I will be returning calls between 10:00am – 2:30pm, Mon – Thurs so clients clearly know when I will be in touch with them and when I am out.
• I told the occasional client who called me at home that it was not OK to do so anymore.
• I thank clients when I have to switch their phone conference or meeting because my children have a sporting event or field trip.
• I send weekly progress reports to clients about projects so they are clear about what has been accomplished on their account and if there are any unresolved issues.
• I purchased a Blackberry so I can monitor client emergencies via email when I am away from my home office.
• I only schedule evening phone conferences and Twitter parties after the kids are in bed.
• If I say I am going to spend the day with my kids, I stick to my promise.
• I clearly explain to my kids what my work and my play hours are.

This process has worked extremely well. I still have one client who tries to bend my “family first” motto. He waits and calls me on Friday and leaves an “urgent” message. He then leaves a message on my cell phone. I have been working with this for client many years so I know him very well. He is well aware I am off on Fridays. His call is promptly returned on Monday morning and he is fine. He is a family man so I would expect him to understand.

Your clients are extremely important, but NOT more important than family. By making sure clients know when you are available and when you will be in touch with them helps the transition from “work getting in the way” to “family first” a smoother one.

I would love to hear any additional tips or suggestions you have on how to truly put family first.

Traci Bisson has been a mom since February 2000 and an entrepreneur since August 2000. Eight weeks after she returned from maternity leave, the company where she had been employed for five years went out of business. She decided to try doing her own thing and failed miserably. After another year of working for two different companies (the first laid off the department she worked in and the other was showing signs of going under), she decided to try entrepreneurship again. Raising her two children and growing her company, Bisson Barcelona, has been both challenging and rewarding. Her story has been told in dozens of publications, including the Associated Press, National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB.com), Plan Ahead Get Ahead (cover story), Union Leader, The Portsmouth Herald, Our Times and Seacoast Ventures.

My talented and brilliant mentor coach,  Deb Martin shared some valuable information with me awhile ago about the 4 stages of transition.  This material along with my personal story have become a big part of the focus of my life coaching business.

The purpose of sharing the 4 stages of transition with you and my life coaching clients is to shine a light on human behaviors and feelings through the natural cycles of change.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.  -Martha Beck

Not too long ago, I made one of the most important decisions in my life. The promise to leave corporate America and give my entrepreneurial calling a shot.   When the corporate culture  I was immersed in changed to a game of micro-management, I began to feel a slow and certain suffocation. It was time to leave the job that was killing my soul.

Today I understand that without the extreme discomfort, I may have never allowed myself to follow my dreams.

Stage 1 – Discomfort

A change is coming on. You can feel it. You can smell it. But you might not be sure what the change is or what to do about it. The more you fight it and try to get logical about this change, the longer you’ll stay in the discomfort stage.

You may feel:

• Reluctant, Fearful, in Grief, Angry, Confused,Uncertain, Negative, Defensive, Reactive and Trapped.

• You may Distrust your decisions and your intuition.

• You are likely to Worry more than usual.

Recommendations:

• Stay with your routines that you know Work for you.

• Don’t Over Commit to others at home or at work.

• Allow yourself to go Internal when you need to.

Create a 10 Luscious Daily Habits list and stick to it. Make these “habits” nurturing, easy and fun. Now is not the time to try to lose weight or start a new exercise routine. Create habits that nurture you without calling up your willpower.

Items on my Luscious List:

Meditation, yoga, bubble baths, reading, watching the sunset, fresh flowers,
listening to great music, playing with my daughter, drinking a cup of tea and writing.

As important as it is to nurture yourself through your pain and discomfort, going internal is key to healing and flowing into a graceful transition.

Stage 2 – Going Internal

You may start to protect yourself from the discomfort and go internal. You detach from your “old” self in order to allow for your new change or transition.

You may become:

• Contemplative, Seeking, Questioning, Protective, Spiritual and often Emotional.

• You are likely Quiet, Detached and Withdrawn.

Recommendations:

• Journaling is a great activity at this stage.

• Sometimes reading can be helpful.

• Get yourself into nature, preferably alone.

• Walks on the beach, an evening around a warming campfire, digging in the dirt, a hike along a woodland path, collect pine cones or stones – Anything to immerse yourself in the great outdoors.

When you begin to heal from the discomfort by nurturing your mind, body and soul its time for exploration.

Stage 3 – Exploration

In this stage, you are starting to feel like you have some direction. You have an inkling, about your upcoming transition and what it’s all about. You are ready to learn more and give birth to this new change.

You may feel like:

• You are experiencing new Energy and Security.

• You become Optimististic, Confident, Willing to Experiment with New Ideas, and Learning.

• You are Eager to Dream about new possibilities.

• You are looking for a new path and ready to commit to it.

• You’re discovering a vision.

Recommendations:

• Read about new things and continue to journal.

• Explore relationships and new connections.

• Learn more about what interests you.

• Take a class. Get some training.

• Do something creative.

• Allow yourself to experiment.

Now that we have navigated  through the initial discomfort of a transition, going internal to heal ourselves and rolling up our sleeves to explore new frontiers, we are ready to move into the Renaissance stage.

Stage 4 – Renaissance

Your vision is becoming clear and you’re ready to live your dream .

You will experience:

• You are highly committed, creative and optimistic.

• You are also determined to make changes and do so at a much faster pace.

• Things seem to flow for you.

• Mentally and physically, you’re at the Top of Your Game.

• Everything is Possible.

Recommendations:

• Allow yourself to flow, Allow things to happen.

• Be in love with your new Discoveries and your new Energy.

• Ride the wave.

• Rejoice in your new found freedom.

Each transitional stage can last from weeks to months. You’ll move more quickly through a difficult stage if you honor yourself . Renaissance, feels like it will last forever. It doesn’t.        Transitional stages are cyclical …

What stage are you experiencing right now?

How long have you been in this stage?

What have you learned you need to do right now for yourself and to honor the stage you are experiencing?

After navigating the 4 steps of transition I have successfully reinvented myself by living my dream and have become an Unconventional Bohemian Goddess. The natural cycle of  discomfort, internal time, exploration and renaissance, allowed me to become a best selling author, certified yoga instructor and professional coach with a thriving life coaching practice.

Discovering your groove and creating a luscious life is all aboutallowing for grace through the transition.

Shann Vander Leek is the Founder of True Balance Life Coaching and Co-founder of Seize True Success. She is a Coach Training Alliance certified professional coach, and certified yoga instructor. Shann is a prolific blogger, published writer and co-author of the Best Selling Book – Wake Up Women BE Happy Healthy & Wealthy. Shann’s personal style and direct approach have guided and inspired many in overcoming personal and professional challenges. Her background in sales, marketing and client development, along with leading a talented sales force for many years prepared her for the business of professional coaching. Shann inspires women in transition to create balance in their lives through personal coaching, yoga and creative expression. Telephone and email consultations make her accessible to clients all over the world. To find out about her Coaching Programs for Women, call Shann at 231.668.111 or visit www.truebalancelifecoaching.com

It’s not enough for us working mothers, to deal with the kids, cook dinner, and keep a clean home. If we want career advancement we need to work a lot of overtime as well. There is some good advice over at workingmother.com, ” Logging extra hours can increase your chances for illness and injuries by 61 percent, according to a sobering study from the University of Massachusetts. And lots of research shows that working long hours induces fatigue and stress, leading to higher risks of job-related accidents. Overtime can also have a negative effect on productivity and creativity.”

So what’s the solution? The article says, “Take frequent breaks during the day to recharge your creativity. Get up and stretch, go outside for a walk with a funny coworker and sign up for a yoga class. Try not to bring your work home with you and even in these shaky economic times, take off at quittin’ time (as much as possible) for your own well-being.”

On this beautiful first day of spring, I am reminded of many things that I am grateful for.

The economy is still troublesome. We have been affected by it in many ways, but it certainly has helped me focus on what is good around me and I remain optimistic and hopeful about the future.

I welcome the change. Change is very good and change is coming. I think you have to get on board and embrace change or you will be left far behind. So in addition to change, following is a list of more things I am grateful for.

My top 30 things I am grateful for list:

1. PTA bingo night with family – good cheap fun
2. a supportive husband who gives flowers just because
3. beautiful, healthy children
4. my parents who are always there
5. my older son who has the babysitter call me to see if he can watch a movie since he is grounded
6. a smart brother who supports my websites for very little or no money
7. a creative friend who is an amazing designer and developed The Mom Entrepreneur brand for barter
8. my supportive friends in The Mom Entrepreneur Online Support Group
9. readers of my blogs
10. coupons – I just rediscovered these; great savings
11. interviewers who are prepared
12. creative websites that offer solutions
13. a lenient landlord who waived a late fee on office rent – clients pay late, rent is late
14. mint Oreo cookies – taste really good crumbled on chocolate pudding
15. billmelater.com
16. my Blackberry
17. President Obama – he will do great things
18. caller ID – yes, I know the medical bill payment is late, stop calling me!
19. Craig’s List – great for selling office furniture you no longer need
20. cats that sleep all day instead of chasing your cursor on the screen while you are trying to work
21. publicists who know what The Mom Entrepreneur is about when they pitch me – you know who you are:)
22. people who return my calls and emails instead of blowing me off – I try to reciprocate
23. auto responders letting me know someone is on vacation
24. email signatures – I like to know more about the person I am responding to
25. Joomla – love this platform
26. Twitbacks.com – so quick and easy
27. people who understand and respect the balancing act of a mom entrepreneur
28. friends who genuinely give and expect nothing in return
29. people who are not afraid to tell it like it is
30. clients who continually entrust me with their projects

Next time perhaps I will make a list of the top things I am not grateful for:)

What are you grateful for?

Traci Bisson has been a mom since February 2000 and an entrepreneur since August 2000. Eight weeks after she returned from maternity leave, the company where she had been employed for five years went out of business. She decided to try doing her own thing and failed miserably. After another year of working for two different companies (the first laid off the department she worked in and the other was showing signs of going under), she decided to try entrepreneurship again. Raising her two children and growing her company, Bisson Barcelona, has been both challenging and rewarding. Her story has been told in dozens of publications, including the Associated Press, National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB.com), Plan Ahead Get Ahead (cover story), Union Leader, The Portsmouth Herald, Our Times and Seacoast Ventures.

Yesterday was supposed to be a “power” day for me. I had back-to-back meeting scheduled on either side of my hard-core workout at Burn 60. It was pretty much the perfect day from a planning point of view.

Then our nanny called in sick.

Although my husband offered to change his plans so that we could cobble together shared childcare for the day, something made me instead send him to work and cancel my plans for the day in exchange for the opportunity to be a weekday mom.

It was raining, so my little one put on her new rainboots and jacket, and we grabbed our umbrellas and spent most of the day walking around the block jumping in puddles.

The day was exhausting, as it always is with a 3-year-old, but it was also exhilarating to be able to change my plans for the day and, in an instant, spend it instead with my daughter. What is most important to me is remembering that the reason I am self-employed – the reason for all of the work and effort I put into my business – is to maintain the wonderful option of being able to drop (almost) everything for a day when the mood strikes.