Book Review – Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P Frankel, PhD

By: Amy Franko

As women entrepreneurs, mompreneurs, business owners, and professionals, there are certain behaviors we have been socialized to engage in that can sabotage our success.

Women have typically been socialized to:

• Avoid conflict
• Be polite and soft-spoken
• Be relationship oriented
• Avoid assertive behavior
• Put the needs of others before our own
• Behave like girls!

Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, outlines 101 of the biggest mistakes women unconsciously make that hurt their credibility, career advancement, and businesses. I’m a huge fan of this book, and wish I had it when I started my first job! Today, as an entrepreneur, these concepts are still valuable in my relationships with clients, colleagues, and business partners.

To make the most of the book’s format and tips, the opening self-assessment pinpoints your top areas to address. From there, the book is organized into eight chapters that serve as a coaching guide. It’s easy to move around within the book, work on those mistakes that are affecting you most, and refer back to it later.

Three of my favorite areas that Dr. Frankel addresses:

How you sound. How you sound accounts for almost 40% of your credibility. People quickly make decisions about you and whether or not they want to continue listening to your message. The word choices you make, how you organize and express our thoughts, and the tone of voice you use all contribute to that decision-making process. The book points out key mistakes and their fixes, such as apologizing unnecessarily, over-explaining, using fillers and non-words, and not using the language of business.

How you brand and market yourself. Regardless of whether you are a business owner or corporate professional, you are your brand. It’s your responsibility to distinguish yourself from the field, promoting who you are in a way that’s positive and reflects your integrity. Dr. Frankel points out the mistakes that put your success in jeopardy, such as failing to define your unique value, passing up high-profile assignments, or waiting to be noticed.

How you respond. This section refers to negative messages and behaviors women have been socialized to accept. Often we internalize messages from childhood that later impact our self-esteem and how we see the world. We sometimes believe we aren’t good enough or that others know more than we do. The book offers specific ways to identify and overcome these sabotaging behaviors.

I encourage you to add this book to your library – it’s a practical, well-organized, and relevant resource you’ll use often on your journey to success! For additional information and tips from the author, visit Dr. Frankel’s website.

About the Author:

Amy Franko is the owner and principal learning designer of Amy Franko Consulting. Amy is a certified Book Yourself Solid ™ business coach. The group she’s most passionate about serving is women who are solo service professionals. She uses a simple system of protocols specifically designed to help them get out into the world and bring more ideal clients into their business, even if marketing and selling isn’t something they like to do!

You can learn more about her by visiting her LinkedIn profile or following her on Twitter.

As “The Career Makeover Coach”, Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help ambitious individuals reinvent their professional lives by centering on their passion and purpose. Holding as a core belief that we are all called to divine purpose and gifted with a unique passion, Tai uses a results driven, spiritually grounded approach to help clients create career paths to support the lifestyle they desire. Whether it’s helping people go from embittered to empowered professionals or making the transition from employee to entrepreneur, Tai is committed to helping clients tap into their own potential for brilliance. Tai has been empowering others through teaching and coaching for over 14 years. A gifted and insightful communicator, Tai holds a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education from Drexel University and a Master of Science in Education from Capella University. She has completed ASTD’s (American Society for Training and Development) Coaching Certificate program and is pursuing professional coaching certification through the International Coach Academy. Originally from Philadelphia, Tai currently lives in Delaware with her daughter. She is currently working on her first book: Reclaiming Your Brilliance: Seven Ways to Take Your Life from Bright to Brilliant.

Web site: http://www.careermakeovercoach.com

Cynics have decided that I’m a “Gen-Y Princess” floating oblivious amongst the clouds, here and here.

More specifically, that I’m a high-maintenance spoiled brat. But who’s counting.

I appreciate criticism, even if it’s lackluster on the constructive side. I want this blog to recognize and appreciate the foundation that previous generations have laid and build upon it. To greatness. I want it to be about dialogue and community. And kicking some major butt. This includes realizing when I haven’t given the full picture. Here are seven concessions to the Gen-Y naysayers:

1) Gen-Y will fail. Miserably. We won’t change the world straight away. You have to fail to succeed. When you haven’t wiped the crud off your shoes, you can’t develop emotional intelligence, which is an important factor for career advancement. Only experience will help us learn. Let us take the reins quickly so we can learn quickly.

2) We’re idealistic and naïve. We want to believe in the dream of changing the world a little longer. Why are other generations so intent on crushing the dreams of idealistic youth so swiftly? What sense is there in bringing us to the dark side? Don’t break my knees just as I’m training for the marathon.

3) You have to play the game to win. I know that. I’ve talked about it here. But guess what? The current game sucks. So, along the way, we’re going to break every rule and change what it means to win.

4) Patience is a virtue too. Millennials are an impatient bunch. We want to change things right away, right now, this instant. Patience is crucial in this process to avoid burnout. We understand change takes time, and don’t mind, as long as we’re taking action. Gen-Y patience is about perseverance.

5) You have to pay dues. No one gets to skip paying dues all together. I didn’t like my first job, but I moved on. Good things are learned from bad experiences. The key is to learn those things and move on as soon as possible. The real world isn’t all that great sometimes. Young workers shouldn’t have to pay dues to a workforce that is often dirty, unethical and shameful.

6) We can’t all be leaders. Not all of us are suited to be leaders. True. But the last time I checked, we need leaders to encourage positive change. Most movements today – political, environmental, social – all greatly suffer from lack of visionary leadership. The more quality leaders we can cultivate, the better.

7) Loyalty is important. Gen Y plays the field of careers. It’s not good. But it’s not bad. We’re twenty-somethings; loyalty means something different to us. It’s not about time, but the value that the company and the Gen-Y employee offer each other.

And now the challenge…

The discussion surrounding Generation Y should center on how we can leverage our weaknesses into strengths and how we can use our unique talents effectively in our professional development, entrepreneurial, social, public policy, and philanthropic endeavors.

So please, tell me:

How can Generation Y show respect and learn from previous generations so that we may fully engage in meaningful interactions to our mutual benefit? How can we work together to fulfill our dreams?

Really, I want to know the answer.

Come together.

It’s not enough for us working mothers, to deal with the kids, cook dinner, and keep a clean home. If we want career advancement we need to work a lot of overtime as well. There is some good advice over at workingmother.com, ” Logging extra hours can increase your chances for illness and injuries by 61 percent, according to a sobering study from the University of Massachusetts. And lots of research shows that working long hours induces fatigue and stress, leading to higher risks of job-related accidents. Overtime can also have a negative effect on productivity and creativity.”

So what’s the solution? The article says, “Take frequent breaks during the day to recharge your creativity. Get up and stretch, go outside for a walk with a funny coworker and sign up for a yoga class. Try not to bring your work home with you and even in these shaky economic times, take off at quittin’ time (as much as possible) for your own well-being.”

Cynics have decided that I’m a “Gen-Y Princess” floating oblivious amongst the clouds, here and here.

More specifically, that I’m a high-maintenance spoiled brat. But who’s counting.

I appreciate criticism, even if it’s lackluster on the constructive side. I want this blog to recognize and appreciate the foundation that previous generations have laid and build upon it. To greatness. I want it to be about dialogue and community. And kicking some major butt. This includes realizing when I haven’t given the full picture. Here are seven concessions to the Gen-Y naysayers:

1) Gen-Y will fail. Miserably. We won’t change the world straight away. You have to fail to succeed. When you haven’t wiped the crud off your shoes, you can’t develop emotional intelligence, which is an important factor for career advancement. Only experience will help us learn. Let us take the reins quickly so we can learn quickly.

2) We’re idealistic and naïve. We want to believe in the dream of changing the world a little longer. Why are other generations so intent on crushing the dreams of idealistic youth so swiftly? What sense is there in bringing us to the dark side? Don’t break my knees just as I’m training for the marathon.

3) You have to play the game to win. I know that. I’ve talked about it here. But guess what? The current game sucks. So, along the way, we’re going to break every rule and change what it means to win.

4) Patience is a virtue too. Millennials are an impatient bunch. We want to change things right away, right now, this instant. Patience is crucial in this process to avoid burnout. We understand change takes time, and don’t mind, as long as we’re taking action. Gen-Y patience is about perseverance.

5) You have to pay dues. No one gets to skip paying dues all together. I didn’t like my first job, but I moved on. Good things are learned from bad experiences. The key is to learn those things and move on as soon as possible. The real world isn’t all that great sometimes. Young workers shouldn’t have to pay dues to a workforce that is often dirty, unethical and shameful.

6) We can’t all be leaders. Not all of us are suited to be leaders. True. But the last time I checked, we need leaders to encourage positive change. Most movements today – political, environmental, social – all greatly suffer from lack of visionary leadership. The more quality leaders we can cultivate, the better.

7) Loyalty is important. Gen Y plays the field of careers. It’s not good. But it’s not bad. We’re twenty-somethings; loyalty means something different to us. It’s not about time, but the value that the company and the Gen-Y employee offer each other.

And now the challenge…

The discussion surrounding Generation Y should center on how we can leverage our weaknesses into strengths and how we can use our unique talents effectively in our professional development, entrepreneurial, social, public policy, and philanthropic endeavors.

So please, tell me:

How can Generation Y show respect and learn from previous generations so that we may fully engage in meaningful interactions to our mutual benefit? How can we work together to fulfill our dreams?

Really, I want to know the answer.