Are you dating someone who is either married or separated? If you are – Things You Need to Know:
- There is a reason why divorce and separation are two different stages – one is final, one is not.
- It is always best to wait till someone is divorced.
- In my practice, I have known many people who have all the intention in world of getting divorced, but somehow never do.
- Also, many who are separated go back to their spouses.
2.In order to be fully present in one relationship, you must be out of the other.
- Ask if you are unsure of someone’s status. Anyone really available will not begin a new relationship until out of the present one.
- I remember once asking a guy if he was divorced. He said, “It’s the same as being divorced”. I asked him just exactly what that was. He told me he had been separated for many years and that they had an agreement. Is that unattractive or what?
- Ask yourself – Do you really want to be with someone who is available for a real relationship?
3. Married people (separated people) are not available – period.
- OK. Here’s the deal. If you’re married, you are not really available to begin a new relationship. And what a crummy way to start a new relationship.
- If you are in the process of “getting” a divorce, much of the conversation is about that – what is going on with your ex., he said, she said stuff, lawyers and conversation about when the divorce will be final, etc.
- Do you want to begin a new, fresh relationship, talking about old, stale stuff?
4. If you really want intimacy, choose someone who is available.
- Intimacy is about openness and openness results from having closure.
- Only when you are done with one thing, can you begin another.
- Starting new means having taken the time to make peace with your past.
In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are
