Starting a new relationship and afraid of making the same mistakes again? If you don’t learn from past experience – what’s the point? As all of us know, there is no end to the number of times we can keep making the same mistakes. Learn how to stop what doesn’t work!!

1.  
   1. Accept responsibility for EVERY relationship you have ever been in.
      • None of this 50/50 BS. Take 100 percent responsibility and you will take back 100% of your power.
      • I had a moment of enlightenment many years ago when I was getting out of a major relationship. My friends agreed with me that he was so shallow and I was so deep (ah…to have good friends); a real mismatch. But my realization.. was that for the time we were together we were a perfect match. My stuff overlapped his stuff and that as much as I complained about his ability to be intimate, if I could have really done it, (be intimate), I certainly wouldn’t have stayed with someone who couldn’t as long as I did.
      • YOU are the one constant in every relationship you are in.
   1. Do not have “overlap relationships”. You need time to process feelings and information.
      • The absolute worse thing you can do when getting out of a relationship, is to quickly get in another.
      • You need time to process; to figure out what went wrong, what was good, what was bad. If you don’t spend this time you will never be able to learn from your mistakes.
      • You also need time to grieve. Even if you are glad to be out, don’t forget, you had hopes and dreams and none of them are going to happen. There’s a certain sadness when dreams don’t come to fruition.
   1. Do not rationalize. If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t.
      • Do you pay attention to the red flags or do you just ignore them because you have an agenda (to be in a new relationship) and don’t want to be thrown off course?
      • Remember – What is in darkness is going to come to light eventually.
      • Be brave. Deal with your feelings even though feeling them might scare you. It’s all coming out. It’s just whether it comes sooner or later.
   1. Spend time alone. Unless you can be alone, you will never have healthy relationships.
      • Spending time alone, being able to enjoy your own company is the key to all good relationships.
      • Do you like your own company? Are you afraid to be alone?
      • If the answer is yes – that is exactly what you need to do.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

Welcome to the 3rd edition of A for Authenticity Blog Carnival.  This edition explores self- awareness, self-esteem, grooving for gratitude, earning, saving and investing money for the long haul, coming to terms with our own appetities and desires, improving relationships by becoming more accountable and present, learning how not to be defined by what other people think, and developing patience. Enjoy the following articles:

Peter presents Why Self Awareness is Fundamental to Personal Growth (& How to Cultivate It) posted at The Change Blog. “The more doors we open the more doors we discover there are to be opened. Self awareness is the very beginning of personal development. It may very well be the ultimate end.”

Stephen says, “Hi Chandra, There are many tools out there that will help you get the most out of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is always working and running in the background – whether you use the tools or not. The fastest way that I know to manifest with the Law of Attraction is to use the ‘Appreciation Sob’. It has produced miracles for me out of thin air and it puts the Law of Attraction into over drive. See the article to learn more.”

Stephen Martile presents Accelerating the Law of Attraction (Appreciation Sob) posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen Martile.

Surfer Sam says, “Do you truly know yourself? Do you like the person you see? Would you like to become a better person? Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself. It is your sense of personal worth, along with your confidence and your respect for yourself. You have hopes and dreams for yourself, but you don’t know how to reach them. There is a gap between wanting and having, a gap between desiring and realizing your desires. Take heart. You can make changes in your own life, real and lasting changes.”

Surfer Sam presents Building Self Esteem. Skills for Self Improvement and Self Help ! Surfer Sam posted at Surfer Sam and Friends.

MBB presents How To Become A Self Made Millionaire posted at Money Blue Book.   The Process Of Becoming A Millionaire Is Not A Get Rich Quick Scheme, But A Patient and Systematic Approach To Earning, Saving, and Investing Money.

Zhenren presents What is your motivation? posted at Seeing. Knowing. Doing.  He says, ” When your motives first formed, you were a different person, in different circumstances. Recognise this, and you may find that your motive evaporates in the light of your awareness.”

Kelly Turner presents Appetites: Why We Supress Them and Why We Should Stop posted at Grounded Fitness.  Kelly says,  “Women have so many more opportunites than we did 100 years ago. We can vote, go to college, hold jobs- more doors are open to us than ever before. We are equal; we are entitled; we are human. Why do we continue to be ashamed of and supress our most human desires?”

Jeff presents Core advice lasting you a lifetime posted at Gobs Health.     “Here is an article on a book I have high esteem for. It’s a summary of core principles created by Dale Carnegie and my reaction on how they can improve relationships with almost anyone.”  

Chris Edgar says, “Many of us, rationally or otherwise, get nervous in social situations because we worry that others are going to verbally attack us and we’ll be unable to “defend” ourselves.   How do we overcome this fear and regain a sense of composure in our interactions? In this article, I describe three approaches I’ve used myself and in working with others.” 

Chris Edgar presents Calling A Truce In The “War Of Words” posted at Purpose Power Coaching.

Mike Salara presents HOW TO MAKE PATIENCE WORK FOR YOU posted at Mike Salara.

Pearl mattenson presents What do you think of me? chameleon qualities – strengths – handwriting | Carrie and Danielle posted at Carrie and Danielle.     Pearl says, “I believe we are infinitely complex and there is no end to the ways in which we can surprise ourselves.”

Louis Burns presents Crafting Mental Movies For Others posted at NLP Marketing Blog.  This article is about not only visualizing your own goals but the experience you want other people to have as well.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

The most successful people in the world have written Goals, everyone else has resolutions, hopes, and dreams.

The New Year is almost here.  A time for a fresh start, for new opportunities, and time to reflect on what we have accomplished in the last year.  It is time to set new Goals for the coming year, time to draw the road map for business and our goals operate as sign post along the way.  Without them, we are just rambling along.

It is important to set goals in every aspect of our lives, Personal, Professional, Spiritual, and Physical.  Most entrepreneurs get so caught up in their day to day businesses that they forget about their personal, spiritual and physical goals, and that leads to a lack of harmony in their lives.

As entrepreneurs it is important that we look at all aspects of our lives and set goals with the intention of having harmony in our lives.  Everything is often out of balance for entrepreneurs but we can create harmony so that the personal, spiritual, physical and professional goals begin to have flow between them.

Spiritual – a goal as simple as taking 15 minutes daily to reflect, to go inward, to rejuvenate the soul will make a difference in your day to day life.  A friend of mine set a goal to  go to church regularly and become more active in the church.  Unfortunately she has gotten so caught up in the DOING of church that it has become just more work to do in her already hectic life.  She still is not nurturing her spirit because she is distracted with the doing.

Physical – setting goals for our physical well-being is important for entrepreneur.  If we are not in good health, we cannot perform at the top of our game when running our business.  Don’t just set a weight loss goal, set health goals.  Plan a physical, find out where you are at with your health.  Set a goal to take time out daily to do some physical exercise, even if it is only walking for 30 minutes a day.  When your health suffers your business suffers, and unlike big companies who have employees to replace the one who is off sick, most entrepreneurs do not have someone to cover for them while they take sick time.

Personal - Look at your family life, have you been neglecting it?  We often do that when we are busy working on our businesses.  Set a few goals around family time, vacation time, or dating time.  I cannot tell you how many entrepreneurs I speak to who virtually have no personal life.   I promise that when you are 70, 80, 90, you are not going to look back on your life and wish that you had spent more time at work.  Take time out honor your personal life.

 Professional - What is there to say about your professional goals?  It is the one area that entrepreneurs often have goals.  They may not be written down, there may be no plan and they are often not measured or reviewed, but everyone says they have them.  A professional goal not written down and without a plan behind it, is little more than a dream.

It may be wise to set fewer professional goals and spend more time digging deep into them, make them SMART and ask yourself why?  Why is this goal important, what will it do for my life and the lives of others?  How will it affect the others Goals I have set in my life and how can I make it flow with the rest of my life.

You are one person, your goals should be for your life as a whole, they should flow with each other.  Your spiritual life affects your personal life, which affects your physical life that affects your professional life.  Each goal should support the other to create a healthy well-rounded life.

As the year draws to a close, take time to reflect on the past year was our life well rounded?  If not make, it your mission to set goals that will create a well-rounded, rich life for yourself and others.

Hazel  owns and operates a franchisee of Referral Institute, a worldwide referral marketing training organization. As a Master Trainer, Hazel provides business-expansion expertise to entrepreneurs and corporations by teaching business professionals comprehensive referral marketing stratagem. In 2006, her franchise earned both the Top-Grossing Franchise award and the honor of hosting the Referral Institute International Conference.