Are you grieving over the loss of a loved one?  If you are grieving and are having trouble being with others, here are a few ways to better deal with your loss.

1. Grieving is a natural part of life – we grieve when we lose something we love.

• For some reason, in the West, we deal with grieving, death and dying, as unspeakable subjects.
• It is as though we think if we don’t talk about them, they will go away.
• But they don’t go away because they are inherent in life; the cycle of birth and death rages on.

1. There is no “normal” timeframe to stop grieving – the grieving stops when you are done mourning.

• If you surrender to the natural process of grieving, you will move through grieving and be done when you are done.
• Everything is moving and changing all the time.
• When you feel the passing of something, you need to allow yourself to grieve and give yourself permission to feel your sadness.

1. Do not pretend to be “happy” if you are not.

• Pretending is the opposite of authenticity.  To feel is to be authentic.
• Every death – the death of a loved one, the losing of a job, the ending of a relationship, even though it might have been dysfunctional, – summons up every other death. Judith Rossner says in her book August, “After the first death, there is no other.”
• Whether you are around friends, family, acquaintances, or strangers, understand that grieving is a natural and normal part of life. and you will feel sad when you lose someone you love.

1. Talk about the person you loved and lost … even if it makes others feel uncomfortable.

• You have a right to talk about things you want to talk about as much as the next person.
• It is not your job to make someone else feel comfortable.
• If you need professional help, get it.

1. You cannot think your way through grief – you must feel.

• I often say the only way to HEAL is to FEEL.
• Thinking keeps the “feelings” in the head, in a very intellectual way, never allowing them to come down and rest in the heart
• Until you are willing to feel your feelings of sadness, you can never move through the natural process of grieving.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.