For years, I have coveted over a platter that hangs in my friend’s kitchen.  Her young child’s precious handprint forms a turkey in the center with the words “Give Thanks” cascading over the top of the dish. 

I have always loved that memento and vowed someday I would take my children to a “paint your own pottery” place to create the same platter with them. 

Truth be told, I don’t have patience for paint your own pottery places.  Those places drain the life out of me.  There’s way too many color choices and way too many breakables lying about for my four year old to literally act like a bull in a china shop.  Therefore, my inability to make stupid decisions paired with my “You break it; you buy it” fear has kept me away.  I simply avoid the scene entirely and we find other ways to let our creative juices flow without shattering dishes along with our self-esteem. 

Then, last week Allana, Emmalynn and I attended a birthday party at You Do the Dishes in New Tampa.  My girls were thrilled to paint a small figurine and begged me to paint more.  Finally, I felt the inspiration to paint a handprint turkey platter.  The timing was perfect.  The staff was so helpful and hands-on that my anxiety over perfectionism and colors was greatly reduced. 

Ready to gobble up more fun, the girls were so excited to paint a dish for Mommy.  I couldn’t believe what angels sat before me.  Allana picked the colors without hesitation and Emmalynn avoided knocking over shelves of pottery.  Plus, the supportive staff helped make our handprint project a success. 

A few days later, our turkey handprint platter was ready.  I couldn’t wait to see how it came out!  I finally possessed my own precious timeless piece to hang in my kitchen! 

And then, my heart sank.  A large crack appeared down the center of the platter.  My precious turkey dish was now trash. 

I began to feel sorry myself and whined about not having a turkey platter for Thanksgiving.  I had waited years for this dish and now it seemed I was the real turkey. 

The owner explained that occasionally the heat in the kiln will causes pieces to crack and she reassured me I could make another at no additional cost. 

Even though I could easily make another, could I replicate the whole experience?  Would my children be as willing and well-behaved as before? 

Then, I realized how ridiculously shallow I sounded.  It’s just a dish. 

I should be thankful that my children have hands to make turkey handprints. 

I should be thankful that I can even afford to make this dish when other families lack food for their dishes. 

I should be thankful that I have a car to drive to pottery place and a home for us and all our belongings. 

I should be thankful that I have two healthy children and be grateful for every moment we spend together even when they drive my crazy. 

I should be thankful for my health and my husband’s health. 

From this experience, I was grateful for my cracked dish and the lesson in humility it gave me.  Like the dish, my life is not perfect but it’s full of many blessings.  So, for my husband, my two beautiful girls, the occasional cracked dish, the handprints and marker murals on walls and the many other messy blessings in my life… 

I give thanks.

Do you feel your child is out of control? If so, it is important to understand how out of control children are often the result of parents without boundaries.

1. Out of control behavior occurs because we allow it.

• We teach children how to behave by the way we behave. If you lose your temper and become frustrated, that is the behavior you are teaching your child.
• Children intuitively know whether you mean what you say.
• Unless you are willing to be inconvenienced when disciplining your child, you will never be able to go the distance in getting the job done. 

1. It’s a child’s basic nature to test limits.

• It is a child’s basic nature to say yes and go, when we say no and stop.
• This is what children do. This response is not so much testing you as it is testing for them.
• How far can they go and stretch before someone says stop and means it? They are waiting for someone to say stop.

1. Children need boundaries to feel safe and understand the world.

• You need to win.  That means you are willing to do whatever it takes to make them feel safe.
• Boundaries create safety; they give children parameters for moving about in this crazy world.
• Out of control children are yearning for boundaries, stopping posts along the way that give direction and grounding.

1. Regardless of age, children are smart and instinctively understand family dynamics. Ex. How to pit mother against father.

• The most important aspect of parenting is for one parent to be in sync with the other.
• Children automatically recognize the weak link and if they feel they can get their way by pitting one parent against another that is what they will do.
• This is normal and natural and what all healthy children do.

1. Nothing controls behavior better than discipline and love. (You may not like or tolerate your child’s behavior, but you can still love him.)

• If you are out of control, your child will be out of control.
• It is important to distinguish between behavior and essence.
• You can not like your child’s behavior but still love your child – and you need to make sure your child understands that.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

I stil haven’t fallen in love with the ankle boot. They remind me of something I would wear when I was in second grade. However, I could definitely fall in love with the trend if I could wear the Christian Louboutin Paola 100 Ankle Boots.

Net-A-Porter 

Look at that fabulous pattern. It’s a black demi-sheer lace-effect with the signature red soles and 4inch heels. With the sheer material of the boot you’ll have to get some awesome boot socks (yet another reason to buy boots…more fun socks!).

These are one of a kind boots, for sure. They aren’t the run of the mill luxury fashion boots that will cost $300-500. These are a major splurge for even those of you that live and die by the designer label at $1,155 from Net-A-Porter. but, if you have to have them, then… they’re worth it!

Ashley Shute spends eight hours a day working as a blue jean and t-shirt wearing community organizer in San Antonio. The other 16 hours are dedicated to dreaming about and shopping for the latest luxury fashions. Her style icon is Jacqueline Kennedy; classic, clean, and always professional. You will never find a fake bag in her closet and she wants a collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes before she turns 30.

“Have a lot of time to kill? Take on a love project and share the great moments of doing something special together.”

Are you bored of having a lot of time in your hands and not knowing what to do with it? The both of you might have watched all the movies in town and been out to all the restaurants. Things can be boring if you have nothing to do, but you can also utilize this time to do something exciting and something that will bond the both of you together.

Planning It

First of all, the both of you will never be interested in doing this. One of you would rather laze than be busy doing something, so make sure you’re the one who’s going to initiate a project. It could be painting your room, a simple table stand or an ant farm, or maybe even a tree house! It can be really exciting to do this, and once you get all the things you would need, you can rest assured your partner would join you in your little project. It is really exciting once you plan the whole thing out and get the work rolling.

Doing It

Once you’ve racked your brains and got the blueprint laid out, its time to get into action. Start working one step at a time, and give yourself the required time to do it. Say, three or four weekends. The both of you might start slow, but once you’re in the groove, this can be really enjoyable and can help the both of you bond a lot better.

The Romantic Touches

This is the best part of a love project – the touch of a romance. Compete with each other, kiss and help each other. Take a break together and grab a sandwich. Laugh about the way each of you look, with paint across your cheeks and glue in your hair. And as you complete your project, add a few romantic touches to it by maybe signing te finished project or by adding a few personal details that could remind you about the times you shared while doing this project even after many years.

Remember, it’s not the outcome of the project that matters the most, it’s the memories that the both of you would share while doing the project that matters. And more than anything else, it’s about your ability to work together as a team and the sense of accomplishment that comes from doing something together, a good love project!

“Do guys like it when gals make the first move? We heard it from the men themselves, and this is what they had to say.”

So what do you do when you fall hard for a cute co-worker or your college crush? Do you just bat your eyelids and wait for him to ask you out, or do you just push his chair back, and strategically place your heel in between his thighs as you express your love for him? While you’ve probably heard plenty of contradicting opinions from everyone around you, including your friends, your mom, and your sweet old aunt, we decided to let the men speak for themselves.

• 80% of the guys who polled at our website said that they would absolutely appreciate the woman who would ask him out to get together!

• 10% said that they wouldn’t mind being given subtle hints, but they wanted to be the one to ask the girl out.
• 10% said that they wouldn’t like it if the girl made the first move. They preferred the old world chivalry and wanted to be the one to ask the girl out themselves.

A few chivalrous men wondered aloud if the thrill of the chase was lost in this new millennia woman, but on the other hand, women believe that asking a guy out themselves showed that they were confident, independent, and not afraid of failure!

So if you want to go ahead and ask this man out, go right ahead, but do remember to be casual and upfront, rather than clingy and desperate. Instead of saying “I love you” (duh!), say something like, “Hey, would you like to go out this Saturday?” And we can assure you, he’ll be flattered!

I thought something would happen the last week of March, but what was supposed to happen didn’t.

See, I was supposed to figure out who the man of my dreams was this past week. Stop laughing. This is serious business. Last year, I felt overwhelmingly that this would happen in March or April, and as time went on, I began to believe that it would happen in the last week of March.

I told a couple people about this craziness – my mother, Belle, Hercules. They all humored me while explaining in a good-natured way that I shouldn’t count on it.

You can’t plan for things like this, they said. You can’t plan for love.

Fine, I told them. But I went ahead and had drinks with every eligible bachelor I knew. Just in case. Then I waited for fireworks.

Nothing.

Okay, so you can’t plan love. And you can’t plan for your career any better.

When you stick to a plan, you miss out on opportunities. Besides, you’re only in control of yourself. You may have goals, but unless you’re ruthless with yourself and who you are – your abilities, your strengths, your weaknesses – you’re not going to get anywhere.

For instance, I had drinks with Johannes last week. He’s been planning one particular career path for a number of years now and found out recently that he didn’t get the job he really wanted. He got another great job, but it wasn’t the one he had put on the map he carried around and relied upon. Understandably, he was pretty despondent.

This was probably you when you realized that you would never use your degree. Or when you found out you couldn’t have children. Or when you started your dream job, the one that paid you large sums of money, and you looked outside your corner office with a view and realized you’d rather be a musician.

That’s the thing about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans. So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and flexible for the opportunities that come your way.

Like Sunday, when I shot a gun. Um, yeah.

If you know me at all, you know how ridiculous this is. And my mother is probably having a heart attack right now. But mom, it’s okay. I was very safe.

I’ve never believed that people should own guns. In England, they don’t allow people to own guns, and there’s virtually no gun-related crime. Seems easy enough to me. So I’ve always thought that owning a gun was downright stupid. Or I did. Until my friend drove us to a shooting ground, taught me the rules of gun safety, and I pulled the trigger. I actually even hit the target several times.

Do you know how exhilarating it is to try new things? To take risks and do something you never thought you would?

That’s why it’s so necessary not to hold onto your plans, opinions, and beliefs with such strictness that you can’t change and adapt, and with such fear that you don’t live your life.

You know, I was never going to be the person I am today. I was going to be the next William McDonough. I was going to be the next Samuel Mockbee. And well, I’ve always wanted to be Oprah. And maybe someday I will be. But I’m pretty glad life got in the way of my plans.

In summary, to rock your life and your career:

1) Focus on the now.
2) Like plans, love change.
3) Take risks.
4) Repeat.

In the meantime, I’m accepting that maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship. Or maybe the person that I like isn’t ready. Or maybe we’re not meant to be together. Whatever. The point is, I’m done worrying about it. And I’m ready for today.

Love it like you mean it.

If you want your man to love you forever, and fall truly in love with you, then read on…

There are just three things you have to do to have your man’s head spinning in love:

Let Him Know You Understand Him

You might think you know your man in and out, but on the other hand, your man might feel like you just don’t understand him at all. Try listening to him, even if he’s baby talking and babbling! Men hardly ever talk about their feelings, so when he tries telling you something in his own bumbling manner, try listening and make an effort to understand him.

Let Him Fall in Love with Your Feminine Face

A man feels like one when he’s with a woman who behaves like a woman. Captivate him with your grace and your beauty. He fell in love with you for the way you charmed him. Allure him with your femininity and he will be captivated by your elegance forever.

Make Him Feel Like a Man

A man wants to feel like one, and he feels like the best one when you tell him so. Compliment him when he does something that you couldn’t, or tell him something that makes him feel important and worthy of your attention, and watch him fall ahead over heels in love with you.