Are you and your partner compatible but have no sexual chemistry? If you are struggling with this issue, you are not alone. My experience is that all great relationships have both chemistry and compatibility.

1. If you feel this is a problem, it is. Ignoring it makes it worse.

• This problem does not go away, not matter what excuses you make or how much you want it to disappear.
• Actually, over time, it gets worse.
• Neither chemistry nor compatibility is able to hold the relationship alone

1. You are not being selfish to want both.  You deserve it.

• Ask yourself:  Do I deserve to have both a best friend and a lover in the same person?
• And mostly, do you deserve love?
• You need to answer yes to this question.

1. You cannot talk yourself into chemistry or compatibility.

• There is only one thing sadder than two people who have good sexual chemistry yet can’t seem to be good friends, and that is best friends who just don’t have that sexual chemistry.
• Oftentimes, best friends stay together and deny their sexual nature.
• Resentment usually builds over time.

1. When you have both, the relationship grows in a healthy way.

• All healthy relationships have both chemistry and friendship; this is what allows the partnership to grow and flourish.
• The only way to make-up is with friendship and chemistry.
• Chemistry draws us back to other person even when we are angry and friendship makes us glad we got over our differences.

    5.  This is the cycle and both are needed to complete the circle.

• We are hard-wired for chemistry and your hard-wiring is connected to another’s hard-wiring.
• Respect creates compatibility and sustains it.  Without respect, compatibility goes.
• Compatibility nourishes chemistry and chemistry enlivens compatibility. 

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

Are you confused about the differences between men and women? Men and women are really not as mysterious as we make them out to be.

1. Men and women are different – enjoy it.

• Viva la difference. I do not want a man who is like my girlfriends.
• There is a masculine/feminine polarity that forms an arch between a man and a woman.
• It is what creates the chemistry, the passion and is absolutely essential in juicy relationships

1. The things that make a woman feel good are different than the things that make a man feel good.

• I saw Chris Rock last night on HBO. He said women spend too much time trying to figure men out.
• He said, “Good food, a good nap, and sex (it doesn’t even have to be very good…..)
• Making a woman feel like the prize, that’s what makes a woman feel good.

1. Women enjoy conversation more than solving problems.

• Men enjoy solving problems more than having conversation.
• When a woman talks she wants a man to listen. If she wants advice, she will ask for it.
• When a man talks, it is for a purpose – to solve a problem, to go from point A to point B.

1. If you tell a woman you are going to do something, do it.

• To be able to count on a man is what every woman wants.
• Nothing is more attractive than a man who is accountable, reliable.
• This is what makes a woman safe.

   5.   Nothing substitutes for being real – real matches happen naturally.

• Authenticity bridges the gap between masculine and feminine.
• When there is good chemistry – you do not have to try.
• When there is good masculine/feminine polarity, chemistry happens naturally.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are

Are you confused about the differences between men and women? Men and   women are really not as mysterious as we make them out to be. 

1. The things that make a woman feel good are different than the things that make a man feel good. 
   • I saw Chris Rock last night on HBO.  He said women spend too much time trying to figure men out.  He said, “Good food, a good nap, and sex (it doesn’t even have to be very good…..)
   • Making a woman feel like the prize, that’s what makes a woman feel good. 

1. Women enjoy conversation more than solving problems.
   • Men enjoy solving problems more than having conversation.
   • When a woman talks she wants a man to listen.  If she wants advice, she will ask for it.  When a man talks, it is for a purpose – to solve a problem, to go from point A to point B.

1. If you tell a woman you are going to do something, do it.
   • To be able to count on a man is what every woman wants.  Nothing is more attractive than a man who is accountable, reliable.  This is what makes a woman safe.

1. Nothing substitutes for being real – real matches happen naturally.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.