(from “Busy but Balanced”)
By Mimi Doe, Author of: “Busy but Balanced” and founder of http://www.SpiritualParenting.com

The University of Michigan recently conducted a survey. They wanted to study what effect money had on people’s lives. Three of their findings:

What do people worry about most? Money! What makes people the happiest? Money! What makes people the unhappiest? Money!

Money, and our issues around money, are full and deep and intense and often impenetrable. We all have a story to tell about our money dance.

Mary, a single mother of two, was brought up by her grandmother because her own single mother couldn’t support them. She lives with the fear of losing her daughters as a result of her unsteady income. One father of three battles his demons with money–demons passed along to him by his father. When he was thirteen-years-old his father went bankrupt and lost the farm that had been in the family for generations. As this boy grew up, he had anxiety around money issues and avoided risks of any kind.

We may not inherit money but we do inherit an approach to money from our family of origin. Let’s take responsibility for our prosperity consciousness, our money mentality, so we can blast away the wall that’s keeping abundance from us. When we are alert to our old money programming we can rewrite the script. Not only will our kids get a healthier example but, by becoming aware of money’s role in our childhoods, we can tame old images and fears. We can choose, today, to allow and accept prosperity into our lives.

Balancing Tips

• Be aware of how you speak about money to your children: “We can’t afford this” or “I’ll never have enough.” Is there guilt associated with spending? “I’ve spent a lot of money on your piano lessons, so keep practicing.”
• Give your kids responsibility for using their own money early on. It helps them maintain a balanced perspective on value. My daughter loved special frozen drinks from a local coffee shop. I began to feel the expense wasn’t worth the treat and suggested she use her own money. “It’s totally not worth $3.50″ was her wise response. We concocted our own drink at home.
• Take a look at what you might be trading for money–time with your kids, self nurturing, pursuing a dream. Is there a way you could scale back your expenses to spend time on what you value now?
• Money is a balance buster for many of us. We don’t know the best way to manage the money we earn and haven’t made the time to learn. Get a grip on family finances by setting up a system for paying bills on time (I like the Quicken software program), saving for college and retirement (automatic savings plans are pure magic), handling debt (find a professional to help you create a plan), and meeting your financial goals (you’ve got to make these goals before you can meet them). Once you are in control of your money, you won’t feel thrown off balance.
• Are you avoiding taking responsibility for money because it illicits feelings of fear, stress, scarcity? Schedule a time each month when you and your partner can review your current financial situation. Create goals and strategies. Is saving for your child’s college tuition just a dream? Even if it’s an old coffee can for collecting change, just making the dream concrete opens the way for the flow of money.
• Eliminate debt and find exhilarating freedom. Debt can be an anchor around our “financial psyche”–dragging us down in all areas of our lives. Create a debt repayment plan and move on with your life.
• Prosperity is more than just money – it’s a way of thinking. Open your mind and heart to receive all the abundance the universe is waiting to shower upon you today.

Who is Mimi Doe

Ladies Home Journal called Mimi Doe “a parenting guru” and she has appeared on Oprah. She holds a Master’s Degree in Education from Harvard.

Mimi is the author of the just released, “Busy but Balanced: Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family” (St. Martins Press)

Link: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312272219/qid=1012258913/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_10_2/104-7406789-8620740

Sign up for her free newsletter at: http://www.SpiritualParenting.com

(from “Busy but Balanced”)
By Mimi Doe, Author of: “Busy but Balanced” and founder of http://www.SpiritualParenting.com

The University of Michigan recently conducted a survey. They wanted to study what effect money had on people’s lives. Three of their findings:

What do people worry about most? Money! What makes people the happiest? Money! What makes people the unhappiest? Money!

Money, and our issues around money, are full and deep and intense and often impenetrable. We all have a story to tell about our money dance.

Mary, a single mother of two, was brought up by her grandmother because her own single mother couldn’t support them. She lives with the fear of losing her daughters as a result of her unsteady income. One father of three battles his demons with money–demons passed along to him by his father. When he was thirteen-years-old his father went bankrupt and lost the farm that had been in the family for generations. As this boy grew up, he had anxiety around money issues and avoided risks of any kind.

We may not inherit money but we do inherit an approach to money from our family of origin. Let’s take responsibility for our prosperity consciousness, our money mentality, so we can blast away the wall that’s keeping abundance from us. When we are alert to our old money programming we can rewrite the script. Not only will our kids get a healthier example but, by becoming aware of money’s role in our childhoods, we can tame old images and fears. We can choose, today, to allow and accept prosperity into our lives.

Balancing Tips

• Be aware of how you speak about money to your children: “We can’t afford this” or “I’ll never have enough.” Is there guilt associated with spending? “I’ve spent a lot of money on your piano lessons, so keep practicing.”
• Give your kids responsibility for using their own money early on. It helps them maintain a balanced perspective on value. My daughter loved special frozen drinks from a local coffee shop. I began to feel the expense wasn’t worth the treat and suggested she use her own money. “It’s totally not worth $3.50″ was her wise response. We concocted our own drink at home.
• Take a look at what you might be trading for money–time with your kids, self nurturing, pursuing a dream. Is there a way you could scale back your expenses to spend time on what you value now?
• Money is a balance buster for many of us. We don’t know the best way to manage the money we earn and haven’t made the time to learn. Get a grip on family finances by setting up a system for paying bills on time (I like the Quicken software program), saving for college and retirement (automatic savings plans are pure magic), handling debt (find a professional to help you create a plan), and meeting your financial goals (you’ve got to make these goals before you can meet them). Once you are in control of your money, you won’t feel thrown off balance.
• Are you avoiding taking responsibility for money because it illicits feelings of fear, stress, scarcity? Schedule a time each month when you and your partner can review your current financial situation. Create goals and strategies. Is saving for your child’s college tuition just a dream? Even if it’s an old coffee can for collecting change, just making the dream concrete opens the way for the flow of money.
• Eliminate debt and find exhilarating freedom. Debt can be an anchor around our “financial psyche”–dragging us down in all areas of our lives. Create a debt repayment plan and move on with your life.
• Prosperity is more than just money – it’s a way of thinking. Open your mind and heart to receive all the abundance the universe is waiting to shower upon you today.

Who is Mimi Doe

Ladies Home Journal called Mimi Doe “a parenting guru” and she has appeared on Oprah. She holds a Master’s Degree in Education from Harvard.

Mimi is the author of the just released, “Busy but Balanced: Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family” (St. Martins Press).

Tiffany Bass Bukow is the CEO & Founder of the #1 Personal Finance Website for Women and Families – www.msmoney.com. My life mission is to help people and the world thrive through creating companies that provide money, career and life skills education.

Can your relationship survive an extra-marital affair?  If you’ve been cheated on but decided to stay in the relationship, this is what it takes for two people to heal and re-build a broken marriage. 

1. Admit that it’s broken and don’t try to fix it – Build a new one.
   • Going back to the way it was is not an option and besides, you don’t want to do that anyway.
   • By the time an affair happens, the bonds of a relationship are broken. 
   • The only way to begin again is to truly start at a beginning – and that is never easy. 

1. Put all the cards on the table – No more secrets!
   • If there was ever a time to come clean, this is it. 
   • Secrets are poison and keep people separated from one another.
   • What’s a secret?  A secret is a betrayal.  It’s withholding information from your partner; information that you know and your partner doesn’t.

1. Take responsibility for changing yourself only.
   • Even if you have been cheated on, step up, and take responsibility for being in the relationship. 
   • Betrayal does not happen overnight.  Be honest with yourself. I am sure there were many signs and signals you choose to overlook.

1. Cheating is always about the cheater – Don’t feel rejected!
   • It is very difficult not to feel rejected when you have been cheated on, but that is exactly what you must work on. 
   • Just like lying is a character issue and always about the person who is lying, cheating is also a character issue and always about the person who is doing the cheating. 
   • Either we feel cheating is okay or it is not.  Unless YOU refuse to cheat, no matter what, you will always be tempted when things do not go your way.

1. If you can’t forgive, you need to leave.
   • As the one who has been cheated on – you need to ask yourself if you can forgive.  If you feel you cannot, you need to leave.
   • Forgiveness comes from wanting to feel right rather than wanting to be right.
   • Once you decide that you want to stay in the relationship and move forward, all discussion of the affair needs to stop.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

As part of a new feature featuring female entrepreneurs, BizzyWomen had the chance to sit down with Hazel Walker, networking expert and  mother of 3.

Tell us about yourself? 
Hazel Walker:I am a mother of 3 adult children, I have owned my own businesses for 20 years now and I am always seeking new opportunities and challenges.  I own 3 businesses and a fourth possibility on the horizon. I believe that my purpose in this life is to be a contribution.  So everything I do I  ask myself, “Will this be a positive contribution to others.”  I love my life, it has not been an easy life, but I have learned and gained so much from each adversity.  Each one has come together to create the person I am today. 

What made you become an entrepreneur?
HW: It had never been my intention to be a business owner.  In my late twenties I found myself suddenly a single mother of 2 little girls and a go nowhere job with a bank.  When I asked my boss at that time for a raise and promotion, she said no and made this comment “No, and you need to get use to doing what you don’t like; you have two kids to feed.”  I gave my notice and left the job, went on welfare, got into a training program for Word Processing, (using a WANG) and completed the class early and number one!  I went to work for an entrepreneur and ran his office while he was starting a new telephone equipment business.  I was fascinated by the start up process, being your own boss…wow.  

I later married a man who owned an insurance agency and became a stay at home mom with 3 kids.  One evening after going with my daughter to a Girl Scout banquet, I came home to a missing husband and son.  After some phone calls, I found my husband in the hospital with a brain hemorrhage.  Our 4-year-old son had saved his life after a fall down the stairs.  My husband could no longer work and someone needed to learn to run that Agency.  

I had to get my insurance licenses, learn how to SELL insurance, learn how to underwrite insurance, learn how to run a business, learn how to network and how to manage my family at the same time.  It was truly trial by fire.  At this point, it was important for me to learn how to network to find more potential clients.  So I read everything I could get my hands on and about this time I was introduced to this small organization called “The Network” now called BNI.  I started a chapter and learned everything, then became an assistant director to the director of “The Network” and in 1998 bought the BNI Franchise (The Network) from her.   In 2000 I sold my agency, by the time I sold it, it had become ‘By Referral Only.’  

You see, adversity creates opportunity; I never ever would have become a business owner if my husband had not had such a tragic accident, (he later went on to find a job in the insurance industry, but nothing was ever the same for him.)  Adversity can make you or break you. Look for those opportunities that are often hidden in the smoke of the fire. 

Once I became a business owner, I found a passion for it.  I am a natural thrill seeker, and being an entrepreneur is a thrill.  Learning new things, new ways of doing things, and implementing them then teaching them to others is a thrill.    

Tell us about your business? 
HW: Today, I do many different things, all tied together.  I own and run a very successful award winning BNI Franchise in Central and Southern Indiana. I took a mortgage on my home and a loan from family members to buy the franchise, it was a very scary moment, but I acknowledged the fear and I did it anyway.  BNI is a referral organization allowing one person per profession in any individual chapter.  The purpose of the group is to build credibility with fellow members and pass referrals to one another in a non-competitive structured manner.  I learn a lot from BNI.  I became a Toastmaster to learn to be a better speaker, in becoming a better speaker I have become a better writer. 

I started training, speaking and consulting company called Crystal Synergies.  In this organization I began to develop programs to teach others. I joined the National Speakers Association to build my speaking and training business.  I speak at conferences around the world, write, coach women around starting and running their businesses so they become business owners and not just self-employed. 

Three years ago another opportunity came along with the Referral Institute.  Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and the world’s foremost authority on Networking, created the Referral Institute as a way of teaching others the value of networking well, with a system so that they could build businesses they love.  I bought that franchise; Referral Institute is only a few years old and has been voted a top franchise to own.   I will put 200 students through our Referral Dynamics Program here in Indiana this year, so I took another leap and opened my own training center.  

I am also working on a book with Dr. Misner and Frank DeRaffele called “Networking and Sex” looking at how the different genders build their networks.  In fact your readers can participate in the book by taking a quick survey at, http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=204762616512 

How do you juggle the work/life balance issues? 
HW: I really do not try to balance them instead I work on having harmony in all areas of my life.  When you are a business owner, it is hard sometimes to find balance.  I was always trying to figure it out and felt like a failure when I could not make it happen, I could balance my check book but I could not balance my life.  The idea behind harmony is understanding that sometimes life is all about the family, and other times I have to really focus on the business to take it to a new place, and not feel guilty about what I am doing.  I have learned to weave my business, my family, my physical and spiritual life together, creating flow between them and accepting that there will never be perfect balance but there can be harmony.  When I gave up being guilty, when I gave up being perfect, I found harmony.  Today, I no longer have kids at home so it has become easier but family still requires attention, I have a mother, two grandmothers and 6 grandchildren who need to also fit into my life. 

Are there any obstacles that you face, in the fact that you are a woman? 
HW: Stress and Guilt.  When you are a female business owner and you have family, you tend to stress out over everything because you are seeking that elusive work life balance.  When I gave up the Balance and went for the Harmony, my stress and guilt lessened.  I have learned and I am still learning to be present in the moment.  If you are with your kids BE with the kids, not thinking about all the other things at work, when you are working, BE present with your task at hand, and when you are with your spouse BE 100% there in the moment, not being stressed and guilty.  Create Flow, manage a healthy calendar and run the business, don’t let the business run you. 

Otherwise, I would say that being a woman I have had to learn some of the techniques of men.  Like how to ask for the business, how to leverage my time and my network, how to delegate to others and how to toot my own horn. Women tend to wait for the business, we hope that our network will help us but we don’t ask or set clear expectation, we believe that we can do it all so we are not good at delegating to others or saying No, and we never ever toot our own horns we have to learn how to do that well.   Ask any guy about his accomplishments and he will rattle them off, ask a woman and she will have to think about it.  

What advice do you have for women thinking about starting their own businesses?
HW: 1.   Find your passion, if you start a business that you are passionate about you will be amazed at how much that will come across to others. People are attracted to people who are passionate who have energy. 

2.  Never ever stop learning always be willing to go to seminars, travel to conferences, ask someone to mentor your, pay a coach to help you be accountable.  Women don’t spend money on their success, they think they need to figure it out.  If you learn one thing at a seminar, or meet one person at a conference or a coach helps you be accountable to one important goal, it will make a difference in your life and your business. 

3.  Be Present, be in the moment.  Don’t let your mind wonder to other places and things, embrace what you are doing right now, take it in and rejoice in the now.  When you go to the next place or thing, start over and be present with that moment. 

4.  Mentor someone else.  You learn what you teach; when you are mentoring someone else, you will learn too.  Grow by helping others grow. 

5.  Have gratitude at the end of every day, journal all the things you are grateful for, the good, the bad and the impossible. 

I have an affirmation that I say every day, many times a day, “Today, I create wealth and prosperity for myself and others.”   

Thanks.

Being a single mom and still providing for yourself or your children can be a very stressful and frustrating experience. There are many problems in finances for single moms and loans for single moms but getting help isn’t always easy so there are some services you should be aware of.

Education loans can be very tough to pay back, should you have debts remaining on your student loans. This may force many moms to consolidate their payments, which will put them into debt for 10-30 years, but allow them to keep out of bankruptcy longer. If you have children who wish to obtain student loans, and you are a single mother, it is harder to get such loans for a few reasons. First, women usually make less money than men. If you are a single mom, you don’t have a partner’s help with income, and also learn less than a man would. You are also less likely to have enough collateral to prove that you can pay the loans back, and you are more likely to have previous debts to pay. Education loans and single moms obviously do not mix well together, as you can see.

Like education loans, automobile and home loans operate in the same manner. You are more likely to be rejected for a house rather than an apartment, since houses on average cost much more. Automobiles also put single moms at a disadvantage- since automobiles often break down, requiring more money be spent. This makes the odds that a single mother can pay back a loan less likely, as maintenance can eat up much of a single mother’s income.

Business loans are another subject that may cause single mothers to have trouble obtaining loans. This is increasingly harder than other loans, since businesses are extremely risky operations. The odds of maintaining a successful business is usually quite low for small business owners. Having sufficient collateral is again a problem with single mothers, forcing many to not get the needed business loans to start their own business. Single mothers usually have a lower credit score, since they incur more debts than other couples or single men on average. This will also lead to a lesser chance of getting approved by credit card companies, making the buying power of single mothers even more burdensome.

However, there are ways to influence or take advantage of situations in favor of single mothers. You may speak with the Department of Social Services for things such as welfare, food stamps, child support, medical programs, and child care assistance. These programs can be found in phone books, government agencies or on this website. There is a lot of paperwork to apply, and the waiting time can be very long. The wait is often worth it, since single moms need all the help they can get.

School lunch and breakfast programs should be taken advantage of. This is a federal program that gives reduced prices or even free lunches and breakfast to kids who attend school, and eat at the school. Other grants can help you in funding for food or even gas and heating bills. Churches often have programs to help as well, and you should explore all of these options for a better life for children a single mom may have. Reduced prescriptions and free counseling are also available to those who apply- so make sure you take advantage of such offers to the fullest.

When looking to improve your credit score, you should have family members or roommates split bills, and put some bills in your name. This will improve your dependability and credit rating. Also make sure that you stay away from penalties such as bounced checks, which can effectively ruin your credit. Doing this will eventually raise your credit score enough to gain some respect among loan specialists, which can bring you to a new step above where you previously were.

When you have better access to loans, you can get lower rates. You can better obtain a business loan, for example, with your improved credit rating. You may also co-sign loans with family members to add credit to your score- and regular payments will again boost it. In case you can not make a payment, the money is then billed to your family member- so either way the bank will most likely get its money. This is the best way to obtain a loan if you are not qualified enough, and doing so is one of the best ways to improve your credit.

Over all, single moms are at a disadvantage. Statistically, they will make less money and not qualify for loans. They will also have more poor living experiences, and will have less buying power. Following the previous steps will allow single moms to achieve a better way of life for them or their children, regardless of their standing in society’s hierarchy.

The goal of SingleMomFinancialHelp.com is to help women change the world through information and education. We are creating a support structure through which all women of the world can educate one another about where they have been, where they are right now and where they are going. With help from our site and the information and articles we distribute women will be more educated in finance, business, home matters, relationships, career and higher education.

Mary-Louise Parker looking sexy and smart

I’ve made no secret of my certain affection for a fictitious middle-aged widow who supports her extended family weekly on Showtime at 10 PM.

There’s something about the way Mary-Louise Parker saunters as she effectively multi-tasks – Running her underground business while trying to meet the needs of her brood, inevitably falling from grace episode after episode, only to stay afloat and do a public service (Juggling hats again!) by supplying every inch of the food train with much-needed “happy” relief in the form of marijuana.

I’m not advocating drug use here. I’m quite anti-pleasure derived from most substances. The exceptions being chocolate or ice cream. It’s just Nancy Botwin (or Mary-Louise Parker’s character on Weeds) is such a prime example of a social antipreneur.

She has her principles and stands by them – She won’t deal in elicit drugs like crack or cocaine, traded her SUV for a Prius in a way that even Al Gore might have to slap her on the rear for just out of sheer adulation, and she puts her family first before her work.

But Botwin isn’t just about the labels that go with her personal brand of soma. She’s an unsung feminist in the form of a single mother that’s had to act out of necessity to support her family. Sure, she might have chosen a less glamorous and perhaps more legal professions to dabble in, but having been a housewife for a number of years whose kids were accustomed to a certain middle-to-upper class lifestyle, mostly provided for by her dead husband, Parker’s character had to pick up the pieces.

So she went with a job that could make her a ton of bank, lend itself to the hours she could afford while raising two sons, and allow her to use her feminine wiles to get her out of potentially hairy situations, if needed.

And from what I hear a little flirting in the workplace has never hurt productivity.

But there’s more to being a successful entrepreneur and owning your own company than just being a MILF. Parker’s mentors in the biz have paved the way for her to learn and grow (no pun intended). She spent much of the 1st and 2nd seasons honing her craft and business sense from a family-run pot business that took her in and showed her the ropes.

Through trial and error and some tough love, Parker’s character emerged as a shining heroine and somewhat to root for in all her flawed splendor.

She’s had her share of failures including a bake shop (a front for money laundering) that burned down (strike 1), then taking a front-and-center role in burning down her entire community and house (strike 2), and somewhere in the middle getting her DEA ex killed (not really a strike 3).

Through it all Botwin has reinvented herself and managed to adapt to the changes in her business, meandering in and out of leadership roles ranging from entrepreneur to intrapreneur, all the while seeking independence and authority in a industry plagued by certain dudes at the top of the ladder. She’s also managed to stay super cool and nice, but firm and assertive when the situation warrants it.

In just this week’s episode Parker decided it was high time for her to get a cut of the action and start selling again to her patrons. She didn’t want to be the middleman/woman. When she didn’t get the go-ahead from her direct superior, she went to the top and wasn’t afraid to take a couple of bruises to get what she wanted or temporarily damage her friendship with her boss.

“It’s just business,” Botwin told him.

Spoken like a true lady. And a businesswoman.

On a day when we hear of four female suicide bombers killing more than 57 people in Iraq, it’s refreshing to read in Forbes that the number of female billionaires is up. More interesting is the number who didn’t inherit the money, rather as entrepreneurs, built successful businesses.

According to a report in Forbes there are now 7 billionaire women under the age of 40, a big increase over last year when there were just 2. This bring to 20, the number of female billionaires under the age of 50.

Another interesting fact is that of the five female billionaires in their 30’s, four hail from Turkey.

According to the Forbes report, four of the woman made their own money: “ Chinese billionaire Zhang Xin, 43, worked in a factory stitching apparel in Hong Kong at age 14 before eventually getting a master’s at Cambridge University. Today she and her husband Pan Shiyi run one of China’s most successful property developers, SOHO China, known for its sleek and modern buildings across the country.”

What’s interesting is that these women made their fortunes in predominantly male dominated businesses, like construction, tobacco and real estate.

The 4th woman is perhaps the most famous of them all. According to the report: ”British novelist Joanne (J.K.) Rowling, 42, formerly a struggling single mother who lived on welfare. That was before she penned the immensely popular Harry Potter series about a boy wizard and eventually transformed herself into the world’s only billionaire author. ”

The fact that these women are young means that they have plenty of time to grow their enterprises and and take on corporate roles, and make a big impact on the global economy.

Aaron Katsman is Managing Editor of the Israel Opportunity Investor newsletter. He is lead portfolio manager for the Israel Growth Portfolio and Managing Director of America Israel Investment Associates, LLC. For more information, go to www.israelnewsletter.com or call 1-888-327-6179, or email aaron@profile-financial.com.