Recently, cnn.com/living reported that a growing number of women are choosing to leave the workforce to become stay-at-home wives.  Good choice, ladies!  I applaud your decision and raise my margarita glass to you! 

In the 1960s, our mothers and grandmothers fought for our right to choose a career path fitting to our needs and free from the constraints of society’s expectations or demands.  Almost fifty years later, we can choose to stay home to maintain a happy home and raise a family without shame, criticism or question.  Even though the pay stinks and vacation time and sick days are an absurd notion, many of us refuse to hang up our aprons any time soon.  

As the article reports, some women have the option to stay at home with their decision having little or no financial impact.  As in my case, my husband’s salary covers all of our household expenses and I feel fortunate to have the opportunity and choice to be a stay-at-home mom  Domestic Diva.

Even once my children are in school full-time, I have no desire to return to teaching, but my professional skills are by no means “wasted” as I apply those skills in all aspects of my life as a stay-at-home mom.  The skills acquired during my teaching career are utilized when managing my moms group and raising my children.   Essentially, I teach children all day long.  I also dust off my teaching tools on days that I volunteer at my daughter’s school.

Even the women in my moms group tap into their professional skills as SAHM.  In her former life as an administrative assistant, Erika adopted the most amazing organizational skills.  Those skills play into her stay-at-home career as she generates and maintains filing systems for every project in her life.  Perhaps, if Erika does not return to work, she should offer how-to organizational work-shops in between pedicures and household chores.

However, stay-at-home wives have an advantage over stay-at-home moms.  A stay-at-home wife has the luxury to focus on her own needs and personal goals, whereas stay-at-home moms often find it difficult to put their needs first.  The needs of a stay-at-home mom often fall behind the needs of her children and her husband, and therefore her personal goals are put on hold.   

When choosing to trade your paycheck for an apron, there are two important points to consider: lack of income and lack of adult interaction.  While in the workplace, you are accustomed to having frivolous spending money and a disposable income. Upon entering the world of domestic bliss, the absence of an income becomes a difficult adjustment.  One less paycheck means a lot less spending.  To help with your transition, plan a budget for fun money in your weekly or monthly budget, which excludes household bills, groceries and other expenses.

Unless you prefer solitude, staying at home can be a lonely choice for some.  Although work may have caused you some stress, there were co-workers to chat with and many opportunities for stimulating adult conversation. Therefore, to keep you sane and connect with other people, join an on-line social network to find others with similar interests, such as scrapbooking or an outdoor adventure group.  Also, search for local special interest happenings related to your hobbies.  An all night scrapbooking event or a book discussion at a local coffee shop can provide a means to satisfy your craving for adult interaction. 

As for me, working was over-rated.  Sure the money was a perk, but the stress out weighed the benefit for me.  I actually prefer a pile of poopy diapers over a pile of paperwork.  These days, I have achieved a work-life balance like none other.

As part of a new feature featuring female entrepreneurs, BizzyWomen had the chance to sit down with Hazel Walker, networking expert and  mother of 3.

Tell us about yourself? 
Hazel Walker:I am a mother of 3 adult children, I have owned my own businesses for 20 years now and I am always seeking new opportunities and challenges.  I own 3 businesses and a fourth possibility on the horizon. I believe that my purpose in this life is to be a contribution.  So everything I do I  ask myself, “Will this be a positive contribution to others.”  I love my life, it has not been an easy life, but I have learned and gained so much from each adversity.  Each one has come together to create the person I am today. 

What made you become an entrepreneur?
HW: It had never been my intention to be a business owner.  In my late twenties I found myself suddenly a single mother of 2 little girls and a go nowhere job with a bank.  When I asked my boss at that time for a raise and promotion, she said no and made this comment “No, and you need to get use to doing what you don’t like; you have two kids to feed.”  I gave my notice and left the job, went on welfare, got into a training program for Word Processing, (using a WANG) and completed the class early and number one!  I went to work for an entrepreneur and ran his office while he was starting a new telephone equipment business.  I was fascinated by the start up process, being your own boss…wow.  

I later married a man who owned an insurance agency and became a stay at home mom with 3 kids.  One evening after going with my daughter to a Girl Scout banquet, I came home to a missing husband and son.  After some phone calls, I found my husband in the hospital with a brain hemorrhage.  Our 4-year-old son had saved his life after a fall down the stairs.  My husband could no longer work and someone needed to learn to run that Agency.  

I had to get my insurance licenses, learn how to SELL insurance, learn how to underwrite insurance, learn how to run a business, learn how to network and how to manage my family at the same time.  It was truly trial by fire.  At this point, it was important for me to learn how to network to find more potential clients.  So I read everything I could get my hands on and about this time I was introduced to this small organization called “The Network” now called BNI.  I started a chapter and learned everything, then became an assistant director to the director of “The Network” and in 1998 bought the BNI Franchise (The Network) from her.   In 2000 I sold my agency, by the time I sold it, it had become ‘By Referral Only.’  

You see, adversity creates opportunity; I never ever would have become a business owner if my husband had not had such a tragic accident, (he later went on to find a job in the insurance industry, but nothing was ever the same for him.)  Adversity can make you or break you. Look for those opportunities that are often hidden in the smoke of the fire. 

Once I became a business owner, I found a passion for it.  I am a natural thrill seeker, and being an entrepreneur is a thrill.  Learning new things, new ways of doing things, and implementing them then teaching them to others is a thrill.    

Tell us about your business? 
HW: Today, I do many different things, all tied together.  I own and run a very successful award winning BNI Franchise in Central and Southern Indiana. I took a mortgage on my home and a loan from family members to buy the franchise, it was a very scary moment, but I acknowledged the fear and I did it anyway.  BNI is a referral organization allowing one person per profession in any individual chapter.  The purpose of the group is to build credibility with fellow members and pass referrals to one another in a non-competitive structured manner.  I learn a lot from BNI.  I became a Toastmaster to learn to be a better speaker, in becoming a better speaker I have become a better writer. 

I started training, speaking and consulting company called Crystal Synergies.  In this organization I began to develop programs to teach others. I joined the National Speakers Association to build my speaking and training business.  I speak at conferences around the world, write, coach women around starting and running their businesses so they become business owners and not just self-employed. 

Three years ago another opportunity came along with the Referral Institute.  Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and the world’s foremost authority on Networking, created the Referral Institute as a way of teaching others the value of networking well, with a system so that they could build businesses they love.  I bought that franchise; Referral Institute is only a few years old and has been voted a top franchise to own.   I will put 200 students through our Referral Dynamics Program here in Indiana this year, so I took another leap and opened my own training center.  

I am also working on a book with Dr. Misner and Frank DeRaffele called “Networking and Sex” looking at how the different genders build their networks.  In fact your readers can participate in the book by taking a quick survey at, http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=204762616512 

How do you juggle the work/life balance issues? 
HW: I really do not try to balance them instead I work on having harmony in all areas of my life.  When you are a business owner, it is hard sometimes to find balance.  I was always trying to figure it out and felt like a failure when I could not make it happen, I could balance my check book but I could not balance my life.  The idea behind harmony is understanding that sometimes life is all about the family, and other times I have to really focus on the business to take it to a new place, and not feel guilty about what I am doing.  I have learned to weave my business, my family, my physical and spiritual life together, creating flow between them and accepting that there will never be perfect balance but there can be harmony.  When I gave up being guilty, when I gave up being perfect, I found harmony.  Today, I no longer have kids at home so it has become easier but family still requires attention, I have a mother, two grandmothers and 6 grandchildren who need to also fit into my life. 

Are there any obstacles that you face, in the fact that you are a woman? 
HW: Stress and Guilt.  When you are a female business owner and you have family, you tend to stress out over everything because you are seeking that elusive work life balance.  When I gave up the Balance and went for the Harmony, my stress and guilt lessened.  I have learned and I am still learning to be present in the moment.  If you are with your kids BE with the kids, not thinking about all the other things at work, when you are working, BE present with your task at hand, and when you are with your spouse BE 100% there in the moment, not being stressed and guilty.  Create Flow, manage a healthy calendar and run the business, don’t let the business run you. 

Otherwise, I would say that being a woman I have had to learn some of the techniques of men.  Like how to ask for the business, how to leverage my time and my network, how to delegate to others and how to toot my own horn. Women tend to wait for the business, we hope that our network will help us but we don’t ask or set clear expectation, we believe that we can do it all so we are not good at delegating to others or saying No, and we never ever toot our own horns we have to learn how to do that well.   Ask any guy about his accomplishments and he will rattle them off, ask a woman and she will have to think about it.  

What advice do you have for women thinking about starting their own businesses?
HW: 1.   Find your passion, if you start a business that you are passionate about you will be amazed at how much that will come across to others. People are attracted to people who are passionate who have energy. 

2.  Never ever stop learning always be willing to go to seminars, travel to conferences, ask someone to mentor your, pay a coach to help you be accountable.  Women don’t spend money on their success, they think they need to figure it out.  If you learn one thing at a seminar, or meet one person at a conference or a coach helps you be accountable to one important goal, it will make a difference in your life and your business. 

3.  Be Present, be in the moment.  Don’t let your mind wonder to other places and things, embrace what you are doing right now, take it in and rejoice in the now.  When you go to the next place or thing, start over and be present with that moment. 

4.  Mentor someone else.  You learn what you teach; when you are mentoring someone else, you will learn too.  Grow by helping others grow. 

5.  Have gratitude at the end of every day, journal all the things you are grateful for, the good, the bad and the impossible. 

I have an affirmation that I say every day, many times a day, “Today, I create wealth and prosperity for myself and others.”   

Thanks.

Recently, cnn.com/living reported that a growing number of women are choosing to leave the workforce to become stay-at-home wives.  Good choice, ladies!  I applaud your decision and raise my margarita glass to you! 

In the 1960s, our mothers and grandmothers fought for our right to choose a career path fitting to our needs and free from the constraints of society’s expectations or demands.  Almost fifty years later, we can choose to stay home to maintain a happy home and raise a family without shame, criticism or question.  Even though the pay stinks and vacation time and sick days are an absurd notion, many of us refuse to hang up our aprons any time soon.  

As the article reports, some women have the option to stay at home with their decision having little or no financial impact.  As in my case, my husband’s salary covers all of our household expenses and I feel fortunate to have the opportunity and choice to be a stay-at-home mom  Domestic Diva.

Even once my children are in school full-time, I have no desire to return to teaching, but my professional skills are by no means “wasted” as I apply those skills in all aspects of my life as a stay-at-home mom.  The skills acquired during my teaching career are utilized when managing my moms group and raising my children.   Essentially, I teach children all day long.  I also dust off my teaching tools on days that I volunteer at my daughter’s school.

Even the women in my moms group tap into their professional skills as SAHM.  In her former life as an administrative assistant, Erika adopted the most amazing organizational skills.  Those skills play into her stay-at-home career as she generates and maintains filing systems for every project in her life.  Perhaps, if Erika does not return to work, she should offer how-to organizational work-shops in between pedicures and household chores.

However, stay-at-home wives have an advantage over stay-at-home moms.  A stay-at-home wife has the luxury to focus on her own needs and personal goals, whereas stay-at-home moms often find it difficult to put their needs first.  The needs of a stay-at-home mom often fall behind the needs of her children and her husband, and therefore her personal goals are put on hold.   

When choosing to trade your paycheck for an apron, there are two important points to consider: lack of income and lack of adult interaction.  While in the workplace, you are accustomed to having frivolous spending money and a disposable income. Upon entering the world of domestic bliss, the absence of an income becomes a difficult adjustment.  One less paycheck means a lot less spending.  To help with your transition, plan a budget for fun money in your weekly or monthly budget, which excludes household bills, groceries and other expenses.

Unless you prefer solitude, staying at home can be a lonely choice for some.  Although work may have caused you some stress, there were co-workers to chat with and many opportunities for stimulating adult conversation. Therefore, to keep you sane and connect with other people, join an on-line social network to find others with similar interests, such as scrapbooking or an outdoor adventure group.  Also, search for local special interest happenings related to your hobbies.  An all night scrapbooking event or a book discussion at a local coffee shop can provide a means to satisfy your craving for adult interaction. 

As for me, working was over-rated.  Sure the money was a perk, but the stress out weighed the benefit for me.  I actually prefer a pile of poopy diapers over a pile of paperwork.  These days, I have achieved a work-life balance like none other.

As seen on the TheMomEntrepreneur, a great site for information regarding working mothers, raising kids, and running your own business.

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Dana Oliver, a single mom raising a two year old daughter, found herself with the typical dilemma faced by many working parents – how to meet the after 5 p.m. demands of her job, particularly when daycare closed at 6 p.m. In her male-dominated brokerage industry, inflexibility was simply snubbed at.

As she struggled with work/life balance, Dana turned to her sister, a stay-at-home mom raising four kids, for answers. Her sister confirmed that babysitters were her only option because she would never leave her children in a “drop-in” center. Dana, armed with this new concept, turned to the Internet for research and discovered that drop-in centers were closing down because they were dirty, kids weren’t having fun and there was no staff/child interaction. Dana started wondering if the concept could work if she created an environment kids didn’t want to leave and gave parents peace of mind.

So, in 2003, Dana left her six-figure job with a dream to create a more balanced life-style for herself and her daughter. She moved from Houston to Dallas to manage a drop-in center and study the concept more in-depth. Soon after, she knew exactly the type of environment she wanted to create and she called it Adventure Kids Playcare.

The next step involved overcoming the skepticism of family and friends who thought she was taking a big risk by starting a business as a single mom. And, the government didn’t take her single status lightly either. They told her she couldn’t get an SBA loan because she wasn’t married and didn’t have a second income to fall back on. Banks just snubbed at her idea.

Fortunately, as a former financial advisor, Dana wasn’t shy about asking for money, and she tapped friends and family for $175,000 in loans. That, combined with her own personal savings, allowed her to open her first location in Flower Mound, Texas.

With Adventure Kids Playcare, Dana created a fun and safe environment for kids ages 6 weeks to 12 years with supervision as late as midnight on weekends. Parents can drop off their kids, with no advance notice for as many hours as needed, to enjoy up to 4,500 sq. ft. of fun, including Xbox games, a gigantic wooden boat which doubles as a jungle gym, a karaoke stage, a mini movie theatre, high-fashion dress-up clothes and much more. And on the weekends, continuously-changing theme nights like Fiesta (with piñatas, maraca- and fruit salsa-making) and Western Hoedown (with stick horse making, horse shoe playing and s’mores) keep children happy and entertained.

In 2006, Dana turned her concept into a franchise after other parents approached her with their need to find work/life balance. Today, Adventure Kids Playcare has six locations in the North Texas region and a seventh slated to open in June 2008. Adventure Kids Playcare will also be offering franchise opportunities in the Austin and Houston markets soon.