What does taking responsibility for your life mean and are you doing that?

1. If you feel victimized or are blaming others for your misfortune and cannot seem to move on, you are NOT   taking responsibility for your life.

• If it happened to you – it BELONGS to you!
• Reality is what is, not what you want it to be.
• What are YOU going to do about it?

   2.  You need to step up and be accountable for all of it.

• It makes no difference if you can or cannot figure out the “why” of something.
• Understanding the why is important in order not to make the same mistakes going forward, but it has nothing to do with whether or not you accept and embrace your life this very moment.
• Accepting “what is”, is the beginning of making the change.

  3.  As a victim, you are powerless to  change your life.

• Sometimes we simply can’t figure out why something happened to us. Regardless, at some point, we have to accept that it did.
• That does not mean we did something wrong or caused it to happen, but simply that it happened to us and we are left with it.
• We can either keep resisting “what is” or we can accept it, work through it, and move on. Only then, do you begin to take your power back.

4. You are accountable for ALL of your life – not just the parts you like or are good at.

• It’s too bad that we cannot pick and choose “what is”, but we can’t.
• The dark side shines as brightly as the light even though sometimes it eludes our natural consciousness.
• At every moment, what is in darkness is coming to light.

5.  If you consciously choose to avoid certain parts of your life, it is like saying “Don’t think of a monkey”. A monkey is all you think about.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.

Cynics have decided that I’m a “Gen-Y Princess” floating oblivious amongst the clouds, here and here.

More specifically, that I’m a high-maintenance spoiled brat. But who’s counting.

I appreciate criticism, even if it’s lackluster on the constructive side. I want this blog to recognize and appreciate the foundation that previous generations have laid and build upon it. To greatness. I want it to be about dialogue and community. And kicking some major butt. This includes realizing when I haven’t given the full picture. Here are seven concessions to the Gen-Y naysayers:

1) Gen-Y will fail. Miserably. We won’t change the world straight away. You have to fail to succeed. When you haven’t wiped the crud off your shoes, you can’t develop emotional intelligence, which is an important factor for career advancement. Only experience will help us learn. Let us take the reins quickly so we can learn quickly.

2) We’re idealistic and naïve. We want to believe in the dream of changing the world a little longer. Why are other generations so intent on crushing the dreams of idealistic youth so swiftly? What sense is there in bringing us to the dark side? Don’t break my knees just as I’m training for the marathon.

3) You have to play the game to win. I know that. I’ve talked about it here. But guess what? The current game sucks. So, along the way, we’re going to break every rule and change what it means to win.

4) Patience is a virtue too. Millennials are an impatient bunch. We want to change things right away, right now, this instant. Patience is crucial in this process to avoid burnout. We understand change takes time, and don’t mind, as long as we’re taking action. Gen-Y patience is about perseverance.

5) You have to pay dues. No one gets to skip paying dues all together. I didn’t like my first job, but I moved on. Good things are learned from bad experiences. The key is to learn those things and move on as soon as possible. The real world isn’t all that great sometimes. Young workers shouldn’t have to pay dues to a workforce that is often dirty, unethical and shameful.

6) We can’t all be leaders. Not all of us are suited to be leaders. True. But the last time I checked, we need leaders to encourage positive change. Most movements today – political, environmental, social – all greatly suffer from lack of visionary leadership. The more quality leaders we can cultivate, the better.

7) Loyalty is important. Gen Y plays the field of careers. It’s not good. But it’s not bad. We’re twenty-somethings; loyalty means something different to us. It’s not about time, but the value that the company and the Gen-Y employee offer each other.

And now the challenge…

The discussion surrounding Generation Y should center on how we can leverage our weaknesses into strengths and how we can use our unique talents effectively in our professional development, entrepreneurial, social, public policy, and philanthropic endeavors.

So please, tell me:

How can Generation Y show respect and learn from previous generations so that we may fully engage in meaningful interactions to our mutual benefit? How can we work together to fulfill our dreams?

Really, I want to know the answer.

Do you do what you say you are going to do? If you’ve been told by your partner that you can’t be counted on, learn why nothing is more important than your words and actions matching.

1. Do you promise to do something and then just not do it?
   • Do you realize someone is counting on you? This particular issue causes much unhappiness in relationships.
   • This is a character issue, not a relationship issue, and behavior that influences every part of your life, your work as well as your relationships.
   • Saying you are going to do something and just not doing it is abusive behavior.

1. When you don’t keep your word, do you make excuses?
   • The only thing worse than breaking your word is making excuses for why you didn’t do what you said you were going to do.
   • Making excuses makes you feel worse about yourself.
   • Making excuses, regardless of what they are, never makes it okay.

1. Do you have a cavalier attitude about keeping your word?
   • Do you understand that keeping your word is about class and integrity?
   • Do you dismiss your partner’s reaction as being angry and hysterical rather than focusing on your own behavior?
   • Do you feel that not keeping your word is just something that happens? If so, you are not taking responsibility for this abusive behavior.

1. Do you often end up lying about what really happened?
   • Is lying one of ways you squirm out of situations when you have not done what you said you were going to do?
   • Lying about the situation makes it worse.
   • Tell the truth and take the heat. At some point, unless you step up and take responsibility for this behavior, nothing will ever change/

1. Does your partner say that she/he cannot count on you?
   • If this is something you hear, you need to listen up.
   • You need to be accountable – Nothing is more attractive.
   • Do NOT say you are going to do something if you are not going to do it.

In a national competition, Chandra Alexander, MSW, was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years and is the founder of Coaching for Authenticity, a place to explore and discover the essence of who you really are.