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Taking the Mask of Your Excuses

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Taking the Mask of Your Excuses


Wednesday Inspiration #20

Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways; where it is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses. – Arlen Price

The definition of excuse is “to explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood.” Don’t be fooled into letting your excuses masquerade as reasons why you shouldn’t take the next step in creating the career you want.

Find yourself making excuses? Trying to explain your lack of interest or motivation as if you are at fault? Dig deeper and take a look at your true desires. Are you really willing to take the next step on the path laid out before you? That unwillingness you feel may be an indicator that you are about to step into something that’s not truly meant for you. That you are about to walk a road that leads you away from the core of your purpose.

And don’t confuse unwillingness with fear.  A willing heart is subject to fear no matter how willing it is and requires commitment and courage to move forward despite the fearful feelings.

Publicly, your excuses masquerade as logical practical reasons for why you cannot move. Privately those same excuses become stones that weigh down your spirit. There is freedom in just acknowledging the truth: The excuses come because you don’t want to do it. Admitting that you don’t want to do something doesn’t make you a bad person, doesn’t make you a failure, and it doesn’t mean you are a slacker. You are just honestly acknowledging a truth about yourself. Telling the truth is more powerful than any excuse you can come up with. Telling the truth will liberate you. Making excuses will only add guilt and a sense of disappointment to your load. Eventually you will find your self paralyzed unable to make any decision without a sense of anxiety or overwhelming pressure. It’s why the simplest questions asked of  you can spark anger or panic.

Unless you get to the heart of why you are unwilling and work from there the excuses will keep coming. Could be that you are unwilling for all the wrong reasons. But until you address it – you will never know. Unmask the excuses, admit you are unwilling, and then deal with the unwillingness head on.

Reflection: What are you making excuses for? And why are you unwilling to move?

Definition taken from The Free Online Dictionary.

As “The Career Makeover Coach”, Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help ambitious individuals reinvent their professional lives by centering on their passion and purpose. Holding as a core belief that we are all called to divine purpose and gifted with a unique passion, Tai uses a results driven, spiritually grounded approach to help clients create career paths to support the lifestyle they desire. Whether it’s helping people go from embittered to empowered professionals or making the transition from employee to entrepreneur, Tai is committed to helping clients tap into their own potential for brilliance. Tai has been empowering others through teaching and coaching for over 14 years. A gifted and insightful communicator, Tai holds a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education from Drexel University and a Master of Science in Education from Capella University. She has completed ASTD’s (American Society for Training and Development) Coaching Certificate program and is pursuing professional coaching certification through the International Coach Academy. Originally from Philadelphia, Tai currently lives in Delaware with her daughter. She is currently working on her first book: Reclaiming Your Brilliance: Seven Ways to Take Your Life from Bright to Brilliant.

Web site: http://www.careermakeovercoach.com

Posted in Career, NetworkingComments (0)

How grateful are you? And what are you grateful for?

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How grateful are you? And what are you grateful for?


You know that little blank box on the left hand side of our Facebook profiles? The one no one can quite figure out what they should write in? One profile I saw today read in the box: “I have nothing but gratitude for every single stupid second of my little life.”

I thought it was pretty remarkable since often we get too wrapped up in our lives to truly be grateful for what we have. And I thought of this most last week when during my daily news-gathering I stumbled upon this piece about the DABA girls. If you haven’t read it yet, stop and go read it, and then come back here.

It’s called Dating A Banker, Anonymous. The DABA girls are a bunch of twentysomething women, mostly in Manhattan, who are dating rich bankers and basically living the life. That is, until every bank in America started imploding and the credit crisis hit –and every financial professional’s life got a lot more stressful.

Their girlfriends, however, are having none of it — and they’re absolutely despondent over the fact that they might not have their monthly Bergdorf’s allowances, they might have to cook dinner themselves, they might not get bottle service anymore, and some of their credit cards are getting cancelled. On their blog, they share their stories. One even complains that she may have to move to the Midwest for a more affordable lifestyle (and what is so wrong with the Midwest, I have to ask?)

Yes, I have heard some speculation that the DABA girls thing may be a stunt. Whether it is a stunt or not, I have no idea. But either way, the girls are either a) telling the truth, and genuinely unhappy about their lavish lifestyles being taken away, or b) really, really hungry for publicity. Either way, totally out of touch with reality.

The DABA girls, to me, are representative of a larger problem in society: we’ve forgotten where we came from. Gratitude is now only in style once a year, on Thanksgiving. All of us are guilty at times of taking what we have for granted (although the DABA girls take that to a whole new level). We get obsessed with wanting more — which is, after all, the American way.

The best part about the NPR article I linked to above is when the NYT, in their statement, says:

“The reason we liked the story — likely the same reason it has attracted so much attention — is that we knew it was resonant with many people who had nothing to do with their group but found themselves in similar situations.”

Um, what? I know a lot of people that are affected by the recession. But, when you’re worrying about making ends meet or finding a job or funding your company, who can actually relate to these girls?

No one living in the real world, that’s who.

They don’t give us something to relate to. They just give us a picture of how an abundance of wealth can make you completely lose your mind, and just how destructive money can sometimes be when we let it run our lives. Because the more we have, the more we want, until we completely forget where we came from. Instead of appreciating the little things, we start to just expect them. And demand them. And we become the centers of our own universes instead of remembering the things that matter.

But at the very least, reading their story reminded me of one thing: I have a lot of things to be grateful for in my life, recession or not. Exactly a month ago, I was sitting in Cambodia in an orphanage while little kids ran around our table trying to sell us books. Five years old, and they work all day hoping to sell a book or two because if they don’t — there wouldn’t be dinner tonight.

I don’t even know what I was doing when I was five. But I think my biggest worries in life were whether I could get my bedtime extended and whether I was going to get Polly pocket for Christmas, and probably how soon I was getting the training wheels off my bike. Yeah.

Being grateful is sometimes hard, but we shouldn’t let anything make us forget how fortunate we still are. Sometimes, all it takes is that little reality check.

Nisha Chittal is a writer and journalist who currently serves as Associate Editor of CitizenJanePolitics.com and is a political columnist for UniversityChic.com. Her personal blog is Politicoholic, where she offers commentary on a range of topics, including but not limited to politics, technology, and the changing role of women and Generation Y in politics today.

Posted in Business 101, Highlights, Networking, Relationships, Social Media & Blogs, Work/LifeComments (1)

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